Shawnigan Lake School - Yearbook (Shawnigan Lake, British Columbia Canada)

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Student — Perhaps in the throes of the. French Revolution Louis XVI. ' s death was not attended by that peace and lov- ing-kindness which he may have looked for to surround his last days, but we do not agree that he was gelatined. Lover of Peace — Yes, the noise, as you call it, which emanates frcm the Common Room on Thursdays is author- ized — your request for a sound-proof room has aroused a feeling of dull resentment in local musical circles. Sportsman — Psyche was not the name of the black boxer who fought Carpentier. Everyone knows it was Siki. This is an old joke anyway ; it ' s almost a chestnut. Financier — Yes, perhaps you ' re right ; but would you say that a perfectly sound officer, after only a week-end visit to the States, would be so influenced by this business atmos- phere of America that on his return bought $800 worth of dry goods with his assets — or was it a deficit? standing at $7? A LETTER FROM FORM I. For some time Form I. has watched with anxious sym- pathy the troubled aspect of the Editor. It saw that his goat had apparently been got, but it knew not how, until a lumor came to its ears that a new star was to appear over Shawnigan, a literary light which was to shed its searching- beams upon Shawnigan Lake School and all that therein is. In short, that the unfortunate man was to be held responsible for the punctual appearance of a magazine of the highest class and most aesthetic type, and that he would be expected to write most of its contents. When Form I. was informed of the Editorial perturba- tion, it understood that matter at once. It has done things like that itself. It has often been compelled by an unfeeling task-master to portray in words the deeds of Jaques Cartier, Samuel Champlain, and other long since dead and, therefore, useless persons ; and well it knows the anguish of the throes of literary composition and the still more agonizing conse- quences of failure. Well might the Editor walk with his mighty shoulders bowed, like the ancient Johnny whose name unpleasantly reminds the Form of maps ; and the Form is of the opinion that the gentleman with the geographical name, and the large-sized terrestial globe upon his shoulders has Page Twenty-one

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ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS Troubled — In answering questions in your exam., don ' t write on more than you are asked. Your query brings to mind the candidate for an exam, who, on being asked for the comparative of bad, wrote worse, and wishing to show that his knowledge did not end there, gave dead as the superlative ; at the same time you must use your dis- cretion in these matters. In answering a question as to where the kings of England were crowned, it would be insufficient to say on their heads. H. J. C. — No, I think your suggestion that Caesar in his dying agonies burst into French is quite wrong; some people think it was English, because of the immortal remark of the woman who said, Eat two, Brute? when she found her husband had eaten both the eggs prepared for breakfast. No, H. J. C, things are seldom what they seem, and sounds and appearances are often deceptive. For instance, Sardine is not the feminine of Tsar, and guerilla warfare does not mean up to their monkey tricks ; nor yet does vacuum refer to the large open spaces where the Pope lives. Harassed — Yes, you are quite right, a man who eats his father and mother is a cannibal, he would be an orphan, too, incidentally, and several other complications would arise. Junior — No, the sausages you get for breakfast are not shot ; the best way to get them is a hand line or strong trol- ling rod. Ignorant — You say that parallel lines are the same dis- tance all the way and do not meet unless you bend them. Well, we have no desire to bend them, so they will remain parallel as far as we are concerned. Sixth Former — I think you will find that Socrates died of an overdose of hemlock — not wedlock. Third Former — Yes, you are quite right ; Mrs. Euclid is reported to have burned some of her husband ' s books, but your presumption that she did so on the grounds that they were too frivolous, lacks corroboration. Naturalist — We regret these columns can not be thrown open to an argument as to whether grass is a vegetable — the theory that a grass widow is the wife of a dead vegetar- ian is an ingenious but a wrong one. Page Twenty

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nothing on the Editor of this magazine, nor had the Israelites of old who had to perform the comparatively easy task of making bricks without straw. Form I. felt that something ought to be done about it, but what to do? The heart of Form I. is big, its lungs and vocal organs are powerful and active enough when employed in the breaking up of slothful habits in other people ; and its digestive equipment is of notoriously well proved capacity. But, alas ! its ideas are without form and void, its syntax is absolutely sinful, and its orthography leaves much to be de- sired. The Form is quite aware that the pen is mightier than the sword, also that the limber malacca is a long sight worse than either of them. Knowledge of the latter fact having been acquired by painful personal experience is proportion- ately valuable, and the method of its acquisition being more or less confidential in its nature, the information is passed on to others with almost the same reluctance with which it was received. Form I. feels a little diffident in approaching the Editor too closely with offers of help in this time of his tribulation, and having regard to everything, can only maintain its atti- tude of masterly inactivity and witness the agonies of the Editor in respectful silence, and firm, well-chosen strategic positions, hoping always for the best, and exhorting him to be of good cheer, for it can assure him, of its own ripe ex- perience, that things are not half as bad as they will be. The Form hopes that in withholding active support in the form of contributions to the magazine, it will not be considered to have abandoned the Editor in his distress. Be- ing thoroughly sensible of its responsibility as the foundation upon which this seat of learning stands (the Form is not quite certain here whether it is not a little mixed in its meta- phors) it would scorn such a dastardly act as desertion. — F.W.H. POTTED SHAKESPEARE As in potting everything else, the greatest care must be taken. A few samples of Shakespeare potted were submitted to us, but either they were damaged in transit or they were not properly potted. Anyhow, the air has got at them, and we regret we are unable to offer them to the public. Page Twenty-two