Selah High School - Fruitspur Yearbook (Selah, WA)

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T H E F R U I T S P U R Seventeen A newspaper comes to my mind, the well known Selah Valley Optimist. I see Florence Bounsall, the editor, bent over a desk writing an editorial for the next edition. It concerns the onion market and the evil of its monopoly by Mr. Harold Wernex. Mr. Wernex raised the prices of onions so that they could only be in the homes of the wealthy. Miss Bounsall along with the Optimist, also has the con- trolling interest in 'fTrue Confessions. In a great courtroom, Clayton Miller is defending a man who was arrested for walking on snow shoes in front of the courthouse. He wins his case as he has won all his other cases. Mr. Miller is noted for proving the laws of gravity un- constitutional, and for establishing the unwritten law against the Volstead act. Clayton was instrumental in barring the anti-cigarette law put through the legis- lature in its last session. A high school is before me. In the oflicc is seated a figure that wears great horned-rimmed glasses and has jet black hair. It is Miss Johnson, educator su- preme, who has recently dyed her hair. She holds before herself a mirror and is speaking to it. Oh my beautiful blond hair is gone! gone forever! Another lady enters. It is Lueile Morehouse, history instructor, who has made Selah's history department one of the strongest on the coast. Miss Morehouse is also recog- nized as a leader in the reform movement against coffee. Her latest book the His- tory of the Percolator helped her cause a great deal. A great train is rushing through Selah. On it is a party of men, including the owner of the railroad, and his leading officers. Looking at the train not ten feet away is Willard Pierce, section boss supreme, one of the greatest men the N. P. ever employed, but who, due to his artistic temperament, will never become one of its executives. I see a laboratory and there seated at a large desk is C. Evcral Parker, scientist. He has made great discoveries. From his invention and experiments he found that iron won't tear, that a ton of bricks weighs the same as a ton of straw, and that water will run down hill. His latest book, The Anglewormf' has a large circu- lation. A beautiful picture comes to my view. It is a large meadow surrounded by beautiful hills. There with his flock is Arthur Driscoll, sheep herder, de luxe. He was disappointed with the workings of civilization so he became a hermit. Art was disappointed because of his not being able to put a Democratic president in the chair. For a pastime, Mr. Driscoll weaves the wool from his sheep into violin strings. The smell of pork comes to my nostrils. Then I see a great ranch. Oh, yes, it is a hog farm, owned and managed by W. George Sutherland, progressive farmer. He is a leader in improved stock raising. He has hot and cold water for his pets and they eat their meals in courses. Mr. Sutherland recently wrote a book on What I know about Pigs. One thing that greatly impressed me was the intimate acquaintance that the author had with his subject.

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Sixteen THE FRUITSPUR CLASS PROPI-IECY I am the great Ali Bevo, the mystery man of the age. I am known throughout the world for my magnificent powers in foretelling the future. I have but one black mark on my record and that is the time I prophesied Firpo would beat Dempsey, but that is all over now. On making a tour of your beautiful country, the United States, I have made it a practice to stop at all the good high schools along the line. Because Principal Bacher would not excuse the Senior Class from their regular classes so that they could have private readings, I have, after getting a nominal sum as a reward, written the prophecy of the class. It seems hard for me to concentrate in your school building as cries of Hurrah and Hot Dog often disturb me. Ah! Before me is a great theater in the heart of your great city. This large sign reads, Jackie Cooganfl in the Brute of Omahav and directly beneath it in different colored lights, Added Attractions for this Week Only: M iss Pearl M athis Qf the Follies In Fifteen Minutes of Song and Dance. As I reach down to tie my shoe the vision of Ward Walker appears before me. Yes, he is a shoe salesman in the A. Champoux Cash Store. Finding it hard to concentrate I scratch my head to aid myself. Again I see faces. The first is that of Mamie Bowers. She is in her laboratory working with different chemicals. She has discovered the world's greatest hair tonic, one that is rated above her old tonic Sheep Dip. Miss Bowers has accumulated great wealth and also beautiful long curls from her invention. l Music from one of the rooms disturbs me but it brings to me a picture. In a great ballroom, a dispute of long standing is to be settled. Arthur Murray, America's premier dance instructor, is to meet Merril Lavender, the Pride of Selah, for the dancing championship of the United States. Ah! There is great cheering. Laven- der wins on a foul and is crowned the greatest dancer of the age. Again I see a theater. A great sign is in front of it, announcing Fred Wherry in Black Oxfords supported by Edith Anderson and John Bowman. They have reached the heights of stardom on the silver screen. Fred Wherry has taken the place of the once great Valentino, Miss Anderson the place of Nita Naldi, and John Bowman the place of our great hero Ben Turpin. Sad things appear before me. It is the funeral of Sid Martin who broke his leg and had to bexshot. Rev. Jack Troffer is paying last tribute to the man. Rev. Troffer is second only to Billy Sunday as an Evangelist. He has already done a great work by translating the Bible into the Eskimo language. Before me appears a chicken and the familiar face of Sylvia Harris. But the scene is in Russia. 'Oh, yes, Sylvia Harris, alias Gwendoly, the gambler, is selling gold filled hen teeth and stock in the League of Nations. She has already amassed the fortune of thirty thousand rubles from the unsuspecting Russians.

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Eighteen THE FRUITSPUR A great Y. W. C. A. building looms before me. Helen Christian and Abbie Adley are walking down the front steps of the building. Helen is the president of the Y. and is one of its best known leaders. She is also a leader in many of our greatest reform movements, being against dancing and Sunday motion pictures. Her great work is appreciated by many. Abbie is the physical director of the Y. Her pictures often appear in magazines along with her book Exercise as a Substi- tute for Food. I am encountering difficulties. Two faces are before me. I see the Clark twins whose faces are so much alike I can not tell them apart. One of them is president of Clark's Sure Cure for Rheumatism Co., while the other is Vice Presi- dent. As I can not tell them apart Neva and Wava will not have to pay for this reading. I hear a voice. It is the clear sweet voice of Sybil Wherry, soprano of the Metropolitan Opera Company. Sybil has a five year contract to sing for this com- pany and is soon to appear in their new production, HBO! Bo! Percival. Two faces are seen above the heads of a thousand spectators. In the audi- torium of a chautauqua Lillian Randall and Miriam Hancock are appearing as the main speakers. Miriam is an artist of world fame and is traveling about the world showing people how to appreciate the finer things of life. Among her paintings are The Furnace and Sunrise at Dawn. Lillian is also an artist of note, being one of our foremost composers and musicians. Her lectures have won for her a great deal of praise and comment. One editor of a large paper even went so far as to say she had the most wonderful voice for selling fish he had ever heard. A warehouse in your home town appears before me. Across the front a large sign: REVIVAL MEETINGS NIGHTLY HEAR VAIL AND KING SONG LEADER, RUTH CARROL All three of the above people made their mark in the world as savers of souls. Rev. Vail and Rev. King, with the able assistance of Miss Carrol, stand today as the foremost evangelists of the nation. Music reaches my ears and a great ballroom is before me. On the orchestra stand is seated Della Anderson, the greatest jazz pianist of the age, and the orchestra is about to play her last number Hark the Merry Elves. I am reading a book written by one of our class mates, Edith Doyle, entitled English as She are Spoke. Miss Doyle has replaced Elinor Glynn as a writer and the last words of all her books are before me. They are THE END.