Selah High School - Fruitspur Yearbook (Selah, WA)

Page 24 text:

Sixteen THE FRUITSPUR CLASS PROPI-IECY I am the great Ali Bevo, the mystery man of the age. I am known throughout the world for my magnificent powers in foretelling the future. I have but one black mark on my record and that is the time I prophesied Firpo would beat Dempsey, but that is all over now. On making a tour of your beautiful country, the United States, I have made it a practice to stop at all the good high schools along the line. Because Principal Bacher would not excuse the Senior Class from their regular classes so that they could have private readings, I have, after getting a nominal sum as a reward, written the prophecy of the class. It seems hard for me to concentrate in your school building as cries of Hurrah and Hot Dog often disturb me. Ah! Before me is a great theater in the heart of your great city. This large sign reads, Jackie Cooganfl in the Brute of Omahav and directly beneath it in different colored lights, Added Attractions for this Week Only: M iss Pearl M athis Qf the Follies In Fifteen Minutes of Song and Dance. As I reach down to tie my shoe the vision of Ward Walker appears before me. Yes, he is a shoe salesman in the A. Champoux Cash Store. Finding it hard to concentrate I scratch my head to aid myself. Again I see faces. The first is that of Mamie Bowers. She is in her laboratory working with different chemicals. She has discovered the world's greatest hair tonic, one that is rated above her old tonic Sheep Dip. Miss Bowers has accumulated great wealth and also beautiful long curls from her invention. l Music from one of the rooms disturbs me but it brings to me a picture. In a great ballroom, a dispute of long standing is to be settled. Arthur Murray, America's premier dance instructor, is to meet Merril Lavender, the Pride of Selah, for the dancing championship of the United States. Ah! There is great cheering. Laven- der wins on a foul and is crowned the greatest dancer of the age. Again I see a theater. A great sign is in front of it, announcing Fred Wherry in Black Oxfords supported by Edith Anderson and John Bowman. They have reached the heights of stardom on the silver screen. Fred Wherry has taken the place of the once great Valentino, Miss Anderson the place of Nita Naldi, and John Bowman the place of our great hero Ben Turpin. Sad things appear before me. It is the funeral of Sid Martin who broke his leg and had to bexshot. Rev. Jack Troffer is paying last tribute to the man. Rev. Troffer is second only to Billy Sunday as an Evangelist. He has already done a great work by translating the Bible into the Eskimo language. Before me appears a chicken and the familiar face of Sylvia Harris. But the scene is in Russia. 'Oh, yes, Sylvia Harris, alias Gwendoly, the gambler, is selling gold filled hen teeth and stock in the League of Nations. She has already amassed the fortune of thirty thousand rubles from the unsuspecting Russians.

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THE FRUITSPUR Fifteen CLASS WILL We, the Senior Class of 1925, we who are passing out, realizing that we will un- doubtedly be buried deep, do hereby draw up our last Will and Testament, and place it in the hands of Bob Cowie, the school huntsinan, to be executed. I To the Juniors we leave our name and all the dignity and privileges which accompany it, and our roll room, with its battered desks and bare walls. II To the Sophomores we have many good examples to leave, both in studies and athletics. III To the Freshmen we leave the hope and desire to some day be Seniors. IV Private offerings by kind-hearted personages are as follows: Ward Walker leaves to his little brother his ability to arguefy. Ruth Carroll leaves to Dorothy Matson a half bottle of Haley's Magic Hair Dye. Guaranteed not to turn red in the bottle. Helen Christian leaves to Katherine Harrison a desire to take life easy. Clayton Miller announces that, having no further use for his false teeth, he will return them to his dentist. To the school and the community we leave our best wishes. Witness our hand and glove this 20th day of March, l925. SENIOR CLASS Witnesses: Cal Coolidge Dutch Meyers. M. J. B.-All unnecessary parts to be used to repair Clark Vail's Ford. TA z - W ' -: ' 5 reg-! ! Qhspim' .E ,- V f as

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T H E F R U I T S P U R Seventeen A newspaper comes to my mind, the well known Selah Valley Optimist. I see Florence Bounsall, the editor, bent over a desk writing an editorial for the next edition. It concerns the onion market and the evil of its monopoly by Mr. Harold Wernex. Mr. Wernex raised the prices of onions so that they could only be in the homes of the wealthy. Miss Bounsall along with the Optimist, also has the con- trolling interest in 'fTrue Confessions. In a great courtroom, Clayton Miller is defending a man who was arrested for walking on snow shoes in front of the courthouse. He wins his case as he has won all his other cases. Mr. Miller is noted for proving the laws of gravity un- constitutional, and for establishing the unwritten law against the Volstead act. Clayton was instrumental in barring the anti-cigarette law put through the legis- lature in its last session. A high school is before me. In the oflicc is seated a figure that wears great horned-rimmed glasses and has jet black hair. It is Miss Johnson, educator su- preme, who has recently dyed her hair. She holds before herself a mirror and is speaking to it. Oh my beautiful blond hair is gone! gone forever! Another lady enters. It is Lueile Morehouse, history instructor, who has made Selah's history department one of the strongest on the coast. Miss Morehouse is also recog- nized as a leader in the reform movement against coffee. Her latest book the His- tory of the Percolator helped her cause a great deal. A great train is rushing through Selah. On it is a party of men, including the owner of the railroad, and his leading officers. Looking at the train not ten feet away is Willard Pierce, section boss supreme, one of the greatest men the N. P. ever employed, but who, due to his artistic temperament, will never become one of its executives. I see a laboratory and there seated at a large desk is C. Evcral Parker, scientist. He has made great discoveries. From his invention and experiments he found that iron won't tear, that a ton of bricks weighs the same as a ton of straw, and that water will run down hill. His latest book, The Anglewormf' has a large circu- lation. A beautiful picture comes to my view. It is a large meadow surrounded by beautiful hills. There with his flock is Arthur Driscoll, sheep herder, de luxe. He was disappointed with the workings of civilization so he became a hermit. Art was disappointed because of his not being able to put a Democratic president in the chair. For a pastime, Mr. Driscoll weaves the wool from his sheep into violin strings. The smell of pork comes to my nostrils. Then I see a great ranch. Oh, yes, it is a hog farm, owned and managed by W. George Sutherland, progressive farmer. He is a leader in improved stock raising. He has hot and cold water for his pets and they eat their meals in courses. Mr. Sutherland recently wrote a book on What I know about Pigs. One thing that greatly impressed me was the intimate acquaintance that the author had with his subject.