Seaside High School - Sea Breeze Yearbook (Seaside, OR)

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eh one Miss Doris Haley has been taking up sleeping exercises in connection with her English IV recitations. Pearl Anderson feels herself quali- fied to give an essay on the mechanical advantages of a Ford. Harry Spath hopes to become a pro- fessional smoke shoveler after finish- ing his course in the furnace room. Little Willie Olson goes whistling on his little way to and from school since Myrtle Button returned. Orville Spath says the Greeks were behind the times when it comes to ostracizing anyone from the country, compared with Miss Ware’s modern methods of migrating pupils from the Penmanship class. A. Bain, Esq., reports that he has received his life’s calling—which is selling bootleg whiskey in opposition to the Standard Oil Co., to decrease the high cost of living and advance the principles of Henry George. William Olson claims to have Ben Hur outclassed when it comes to speedy chariot racing, to which any- one must agree, who sees a white streak going down the road with a dark complexioned son of Sweden on the perambulator. —— O—— HISTORY 1 TEST GLEANINGS Heracles: Son of Zeus and killer of monsters. Cadmus: Island captured by Laced- aemonians and made power of Athens. Cythera: Founder of Thebes. Isagoras and Clisthenes fought for the throne; Isagoras won, but the poor people usurped him and put Clisthenes on the throne. Perseus: One of the best cuttings done by Perseus was Medusa’s head. Among the mythical heroes of The- bes was a great city of Greece named Cadmus. Hipparchus and Harmodius was the son of Hippias. After their father died the younger son got into a love affair and succeeded his brother. WHAT THE SENIORS AND JUNIORS KNOW That we breathe through our lungs. That Alsace Lorraine is in Siberia. That United States is at peace. That the Pacific Ocean is fresh water. That Pope wrote Wakefield.” “The Vicar of —o—— . WHAT WE LEARN In Physics: That it isn’t safe to play with a charged Leyden jar. In typewriting: How to use an eraser. In English: That a verb is a word modifying a noun, and that Dickens wrote The Merchant of Venice. In Math: That a circle is a square, bounded by an indefinite number of sides, and that a spontaneous homog- enous quadratic equation is a kind of punishment allied with capital pun- ishment. In economics: That Henry George was closely related to the missing link. —— O-—— SAYINGS OF VARIOUS STUDENTS Francis Marsh: Oh, Hen! Geneva Cryderman: I'll upset cha. Don’t get gay, Gal. William Price: Aw-w-w-w-w. Doris Haley: Oh! My! Helen Callahan: Huh! Pearl Anderson: Uh huh. Hizabeth H: Good Gracious! Marie Schamberger: Shut up! Esther Hansberry: Ditto. Harry Spath: I don’t know. Elvera Miller: Pooh Pooh. Arita Sharp: Why? Aster Moore: You can’t prove it. What! —— Oo—— Problem for Mr. Lovett to Solve It the distance from New York to Berlin is 4,385 miles, how many po- tato peelings will be required to shingle a wood-shed?

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Lit erary ( ; Torts It was morning....all was quiet and serene....not a sound broke the death- like stillness that hung over the room ....Save the occasional noise of a page being turned over by some studiously studying student.....The door opened. ....a monstrous form appeared on the threshold....it hesitated..... another door slowly opened....but no gigantic form emerged....then .. more silence a slight movement of the first door.. followed by further opening of the second....Suddenly....a voice broke the quiet stillness of the morning air. “Why....What....Who’s there?” Then both doors swung wide open and the contrasted forms of James and Arita glided into the room and to their respective seats. O DON’T FAIL TO SEE AND HEAR THIS SILVER-TONGED PALAVER! Question: Will Spearmint keep its flavor on the ped-post over night? Prof. Androcles Bonetop will be the Atlas of the Affirmative, whilst Prof Tecumseh Crackedskull will walk on said Affirmative, whilst upholding the negative. Both of these great men are of international reputation, having been in the many and various asylums throughout the world, and consequent- ly have a high standing among the people they have met. Prof. Bonetop is a graduate of Hysteria University, and Prof. Crackedskull comes highly recommended from the Opiate Acad emy of Insanity. Proceeds of this affair will go to wards placing Napoleon and Dante back on their respective thrones, tho they are at present kept in close con- finement at Salem, but are eagerly ready to regain their mental rights. We have among us one of the most gallant knights of chivalry to survive the evolutionary law of natural selec- tion and the economic laws of supply and demand. Being unable to find out under what title he goes into battle we are forced to divulge his maiden name, Sir Orville Spath. We have just received a telegram from the Associ: ated Press, to the effect that Sir Or- ville has received the Iron Cross of Insanity for effectually demolishing the ferocious humming bird which haunted his mother’s garden. Being well advised as to Sir Or- ville’s methods of attack, we shall make it publicly known as to how this great knight of the Sacred Order of Lunatics wins his victories. Letting ourselves into the medium of one who converses with the spirits, we see the gallant Orville, armed like David, only negative the sling, creep silently up the road to where the en- emy dingbat perches haughtily on the telephone pole. The gallant knight then fearlessly hurls missles at the brute until it crashes down broken and vanquished. Thus Sir Orville wins his victories and thus he will con tinue to win them till the sands of the desert grow cold, and the elephants roost in the air plants. ——o—— - GRAND MOONLIGHT EXCURSION At Drunkard’s Grove, Soctober 32th, Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Nine All persons, human beings or people wishing to embark on this delightful excursion, unconsciously coagulate at 13:62 P. X., on Homicide Wharf, cor- ner Tough and Starvation Streets. A few murders and suicides will be com- mitted to amuse the crowd. The barges, Beerkeg and Growler will be towed by the tugboats Hysteria and Delirium Tremens. Boats leave half ap hour before the appointed time, never to return. As this is a strictly infernal occasion, you will wear the usual asylum garb. Admission free. Gentle- men and ladies, 50c. Orphans accom- panied by their parents wil not be admitted. Dancing till dead.

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okes Mrs. Wyatt (in English I class): Hazel, can you give me an equivalent for the hackneyed expression, “wreath- ed in smiles.’’? Hazel: ‘The girl had a large smile on her face.” Mrs. Wyatt: That may be true if she has a big mouth. Dorothy (in History I class): The Romans ate their noon-day meal at 2 o‘clock. Mrs. Wyatt in Gen. Science): When the rain falls, does it rise again? James M: Yes, in dew time. Freshie: I know who you are! Soph: Who am I? Freshie: Nobody. Marie S: I know where the first doughnut was made. Esther H: Where was it? Marie S: In Greece. Elvera: What book has helped you most? Helen: My father’s check-book. Arita S: I would like to have one of the Miller boys for a watch fob. Dorothy, dropping her book of Rome, said: “That is the fall of Rome.” To the Editor: Will you please pub- lish a recipe for making Freshman keep still? I find it impossible to keep their mouths closed for more than one minute. Respectfully, ELIZABETH HONKANEN. Ans: The only way is to do more talking than they. Reply: impossible. Orville Spath sat chewing gum in bookkeeping class, and also had his pedal extremities projecting into the aisle, whereupon Miss Ware spoke as follows: “Orville, take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in.” Frances (to Prof. Gaston): I am in- debted to you for all I know. Prof. Gaston: Don’t mention such a trifle. Mr. Lovett: I thought you knew that formula. Mildred O: I had my book closed. I wish I were a Fresh again, With ideals still unshattered, Because whate’er I wished to do, Then, no example mattered. Recited by Doris H. Leola Ball: We laugh at Mr. L’s jokes, No matter what they may be; Not because they’re funny jokes, But because it’s policy. The Freshman envy Seniors, For Seniors run the school; But when you are a Senior, You dare not break the rule. Every teacher calls to you, As down the hall you run; You must a great example set, And so miss all the fun. A kindly teacher told a maid A poem short to write. This seemed a snap, so she obeyed, And tried with all her might. She worked for hours but all in vain, Her mind was simply blank. She bit her pencil, rack’d her brain, Her thoughts and wits just sank. The poor girl worked until the dawn, And she was nearly dead; The morning found her senses gone, With ice bags on her head. In all the night one line she wrote, And it was short and sweet “O’er rippling waves the boat did float?’ Which made her verse complete.