Seaside High School - Sea Breeze Yearbook (Seaside, OR)

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Lit erary ( ; Torts It was morning....all was quiet and serene....not a sound broke the death- like stillness that hung over the room ....Save the occasional noise of a page being turned over by some studiously studying student.....The door opened. ....a monstrous form appeared on the threshold....it hesitated..... another door slowly opened....but no gigantic form emerged....then .. more silence a slight movement of the first door.. followed by further opening of the second....Suddenly....a voice broke the quiet stillness of the morning air. “Why....What....Who’s there?” Then both doors swung wide open and the contrasted forms of James and Arita glided into the room and to their respective seats. O DON’T FAIL TO SEE AND HEAR THIS SILVER-TONGED PALAVER! Question: Will Spearmint keep its flavor on the ped-post over night? Prof. Androcles Bonetop will be the Atlas of the Affirmative, whilst Prof Tecumseh Crackedskull will walk on said Affirmative, whilst upholding the negative. Both of these great men are of international reputation, having been in the many and various asylums throughout the world, and consequent- ly have a high standing among the people they have met. Prof. Bonetop is a graduate of Hysteria University, and Prof. Crackedskull comes highly recommended from the Opiate Acad emy of Insanity. Proceeds of this affair will go to wards placing Napoleon and Dante back on their respective thrones, tho they are at present kept in close con- finement at Salem, but are eagerly ready to regain their mental rights. We have among us one of the most gallant knights of chivalry to survive the evolutionary law of natural selec- tion and the economic laws of supply and demand. Being unable to find out under what title he goes into battle we are forced to divulge his maiden name, Sir Orville Spath. We have just received a telegram from the Associ: ated Press, to the effect that Sir Or- ville has received the Iron Cross of Insanity for effectually demolishing the ferocious humming bird which haunted his mother’s garden. Being well advised as to Sir Or- ville’s methods of attack, we shall make it publicly known as to how this great knight of the Sacred Order of Lunatics wins his victories. Letting ourselves into the medium of one who converses with the spirits, we see the gallant Orville, armed like David, only negative the sling, creep silently up the road to where the en- emy dingbat perches haughtily on the telephone pole. The gallant knight then fearlessly hurls missles at the brute until it crashes down broken and vanquished. Thus Sir Orville wins his victories and thus he will con tinue to win them till the sands of the desert grow cold, and the elephants roost in the air plants. ——o—— - GRAND MOONLIGHT EXCURSION At Drunkard’s Grove, Soctober 32th, Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Nine All persons, human beings or people wishing to embark on this delightful excursion, unconsciously coagulate at 13:62 P. X., on Homicide Wharf, cor- ner Tough and Starvation Streets. A few murders and suicides will be com- mitted to amuse the crowd. The barges, Beerkeg and Growler will be towed by the tugboats Hysteria and Delirium Tremens. Boats leave half ap hour before the appointed time, never to return. As this is a strictly infernal occasion, you will wear the usual asylum garb. Admission free. Gentle- men and ladies, 50c. Orphans accom- panied by their parents wil not be admitted. Dancing till dead.

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The following is a little poem sub- mitted for your approval by a Junior. The title of this is: ‘‘There was nitro- gycerin in the Billy Goat’s Mush.” Softly down the hallway fleeting, Went the Freshies to their meeting; ’Twas a motley crowd of girls and boys Creating an unusual lot of noise. On the board was no announcement Of a meeting of any kind; But there was an understanding of its occurrence In each little Freshie’s mind. The meeting was begun With the President in the chair; But it wasn’t called to order As there was no order there. Sweeter than Aeolian babblings, In that sunny land of drouths, Were the tintinabulations Of their automatic mouths. How they loved their gurgling guzzles, How they loved their fluent flow; How they loved to wind them up, How they loved to let them go. Each one talking to the other Caused the President untold bother; Till all order from their thots ad- journed, So homeward they their footsteps turned. Hark, ye verdant Freshmen, That you may make your class car- eer sublime, And, departing, leave behind you, A party on the sands of time.—The end. ——0———- Little words of wisdom, Little words of bluff, Make the mighty teachers Say “Sit down; enough!” —o-——— Lives of Seniors all remind us We can strive and do our best, And, departing, leave behind us, Note books that will help the rest. Our treasurer, the ever hopeful, Was waiting for dues in vain, When a green little Freshie approach- ed her— She was sure of material gain. But alas! the Freshie, desponding Of her lesson in History One, Had come to our treasurer, seeking Help from the bigger gun. Next came a Sophomore. Oh! Horror! That class with their love of Ego; But at last she departed, still debtor, With an Algebra problem. O! O! Suddenly our treasurer straightened, She smiled, an encouraged one, For a classmate approaching her Had quite a business look on. But this time ’twas only to borrow, That the Junior had made his call, But our treasurer was saved from sorrow, By the Senior who saw it all. 10% Joh. Alby —— (9 The Juniors give a Prom; The Seniors, a reception in return; Then the Freshies call a meeting, But no outcome can we discern. How cruel that such criticism Be accorded the Freshman class, For their efforts to conduct a meeting, And their semblance to green grass. Yea, how cruel that so many poems and chaffing Be written of the Frosh, But some must bear the brunt of life, Then why not them, B’gosh? oO It seems to me that I’ve heard said, The Union High School has gone quite dead! But hear ye all, and know by this, It has not reached eternal bliss. Oh, No! Nor yet has gone the other way, But hear from it you will, some future day. —— o-—-—— Doris had a little lamb, With fleas as white as snow; And every where that Doris went Those fleas they had to go.

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eh one Miss Doris Haley has been taking up sleeping exercises in connection with her English IV recitations. Pearl Anderson feels herself quali- fied to give an essay on the mechanical advantages of a Ford. Harry Spath hopes to become a pro- fessional smoke shoveler after finish- ing his course in the furnace room. Little Willie Olson goes whistling on his little way to and from school since Myrtle Button returned. Orville Spath says the Greeks were behind the times when it comes to ostracizing anyone from the country, compared with Miss Ware’s modern methods of migrating pupils from the Penmanship class. A. Bain, Esq., reports that he has received his life’s calling—which is selling bootleg whiskey in opposition to the Standard Oil Co., to decrease the high cost of living and advance the principles of Henry George. William Olson claims to have Ben Hur outclassed when it comes to speedy chariot racing, to which any- one must agree, who sees a white streak going down the road with a dark complexioned son of Sweden on the perambulator. —— O—— HISTORY 1 TEST GLEANINGS Heracles: Son of Zeus and killer of monsters. Cadmus: Island captured by Laced- aemonians and made power of Athens. Cythera: Founder of Thebes. Isagoras and Clisthenes fought for the throne; Isagoras won, but the poor people usurped him and put Clisthenes on the throne. Perseus: One of the best cuttings done by Perseus was Medusa’s head. Among the mythical heroes of The- bes was a great city of Greece named Cadmus. Hipparchus and Harmodius was the son of Hippias. After their father died the younger son got into a love affair and succeeded his brother. WHAT THE SENIORS AND JUNIORS KNOW That we breathe through our lungs. That Alsace Lorraine is in Siberia. That United States is at peace. That the Pacific Ocean is fresh water. That Pope wrote Wakefield.” “The Vicar of —o—— . WHAT WE LEARN In Physics: That it isn’t safe to play with a charged Leyden jar. In typewriting: How to use an eraser. In English: That a verb is a word modifying a noun, and that Dickens wrote The Merchant of Venice. In Math: That a circle is a square, bounded by an indefinite number of sides, and that a spontaneous homog- enous quadratic equation is a kind of punishment allied with capital pun- ishment. In economics: That Henry George was closely related to the missing link. —— O-—— SAYINGS OF VARIOUS STUDENTS Francis Marsh: Oh, Hen! Geneva Cryderman: I'll upset cha. Don’t get gay, Gal. William Price: Aw-w-w-w-w. Doris Haley: Oh! My! Helen Callahan: Huh! Pearl Anderson: Uh huh. Hizabeth H: Good Gracious! Marie Schamberger: Shut up! Esther Hansberry: Ditto. Harry Spath: I don’t know. Elvera Miller: Pooh Pooh. Arita Sharp: Why? Aster Moore: You can’t prove it. What! —— Oo—— Problem for Mr. Lovett to Solve It the distance from New York to Berlin is 4,385 miles, how many po- tato peelings will be required to shingle a wood-shed?