Seaside High School - Sea Breeze Yearbook (Seaside, OR)

Text from Pages 1 - 24 of the 1918 volume:

“Published by the Union High School ‘Seaside,Oregon May 30th,1918 . a i t ‘ , . od. spicy whiff of refreshing air coming from the west side of school life, blowing over the sunny places in fluffy lives of . breezy scholars, touching on the airy domes of stormy teachers, staying nowhere long enough to gather wisdom on land or sea. In all, but a gale of laughter, now and then. 71 ST TOTTI UU EEE ee Hin JU Dry Goods, Ladies’ Wear, Shoes, Hats, Men’s Furnishings TAU Eee eee TOPPETTUUUEUODURUULURURLURIODLITLDCCLUEIORLCLOCUUUDPOLEDOLELLULOEL LAE B. W. OTTO Dealers in General Merchandise The oldest and Most Reliable Store in Seaside—Try us. COCO Snelson’s Cash Te Lena R. Hodges Store Osteopath The Store That Saves you : Night calls answered by Money. = 2 ; Phone—Office 123. COE eee SLUT M ECO E ETON O TUM U ETON TT NTOO TOTO TTT O TTT A. R. Wascher Co. General Merchants Gearhart. Oregon Depot. Restaurant and Hotel Rooms and Board—Steam Heat. MRS. ALBERTA JOHNSON, Prop. CTU TUTTE CTE UCT (TEN HUTTE VTE TOU TEE PEATE TTT TTT VOTE TOE CTT LLULLLLLLLLL LLL Tee VE THT SUTEOE TOUTE TOCCOA CEE TUTE TUUUUULNUUTLUUUUNLAUECUUUULLLUUULEQUN TOU Strand heatre We INS TUCO EPO ON URRMTOOR UMMM ONO T AMOR UMM UMNO OOO UA UOMOUOOM NUM NCO TOO OEMOMCMULN CAO ULONEONNOOUNOOONUTNO ITO OTANOS UENO NTNOTTNDTNOTINOTRN TAU OTNUNTO NEMO TTNTVO TINO NTTTE L. S. BALL Optometrist Jeweler 716 Broadway SEASIDE OREGON COT eee Try Our Famous Milk Shake WEST'S DAIRY FRESH MILK, CREAM, BUTTERMILK, BUTTER AND EGGS 319 Broadway Seaside, Oregon TOUTE eee Seaside Drus Store : Special attention given to Drugs and Prescriptions. : Sundries galore. New fountain with everything in the z drink line-—Remember this is not California. R.A. PRICE | : MEAT MARKET Seaside Repair : Fresh and Cured Meats, = Shop = Fish, Poultry, Lard, : 3 Butter and Eggs : 7th Street = 606 Broadway Phone 503 =: Opposite Post Office : 16 Years in Seaside. = CUCU SOMODUMOMUUOMLUOUOUEDOMUUUUUDUUDUDRUSDUPULULELE E-SUUUTUTTLLTLLLLLLLLLCLC EMC MMMMTM TUTTE eee PR WL CUCU Eee LLL ACO ACOA COM EO COO OM COM UO MON TOON TUONO TTT TT TTT Royal Stern B. MENZEL, Proprietor. BAKERY and COFFEE PARLOR Broadway Seaside, Oregon Fyrnu0cu04¥Q4¥VAUT0NTU0NU00EVPOEEODODEOULCULUUUOQUUOUOUOUUOUUUUOUUUUUUOUUO OOOO Marlantes Oyster The Round Corner HHL House Drug Store Gus Marlantes, Prop. Eastman Kodaks, Leather OYSTERS Goods Short orders of all kinds. Call and see us. Open till 2 A. M. LEWIS CO. UCC EAE CEE eee Dr. W. E. Lewis Frank Kennedy : G Physician and Surgeon abaren ney Office phone 163 enntida Oregon Residence 275. UOC UE CASH GROCERY LOLA SPATH, Proprietor. Groceries, Tobacco, Soft Drinks, Candy Corner 7th Street 12th Avenue. Phone 323. STL LOOT MOO COO UA CO UO OEA COTO COU OO MO COTA CA TOTO TOCA TIEN MO TUONO TUTTO TNT TTT Headquarters for the famous Columbia Crispettes at the White Clover Ice Cream Parlors. They all say, “Best I ever tasted.”—We ask you to try them once. PMT TTT TOO [TUTE Eee Ohis is the School Board’s Page The Board of Education of Union High School, District No. 1, wishes to call the attention of the young people of this section of Clatsop county to the special advantages offered in educational lines. The Union District has erected a building sec- ond to none in arrangement and equipment for good standard work. The school offers a standard four years’ course along three distinct lines. A pupil may have his choice according to his plans for future ed- ucation or work. The courses offered are general, college, preparatory and commercial. The general course is s uch as any one would need in the ordinary life in the world where each has a part to play in cit- izenship. The college preparatory is intended for those whose means may offer the opportunity of a college or university course. Changes may be made from one to the other of these two courses if done by the end of the second year. The commercial course is one intended to fit the pupil to take a position in a business house as bookkeeper or stenographer. The personnell of the teaching force for next year is as follows: Principal, Myron C. Gaston, Phy- sics and Latin instruction; Miss Iva McKay, Domes- tic Science; Mrs. Leah P. Wyatt, English; Mrs. Pan- sy Davidson, History and Mathematics; Miss Iva Johnson, Commercial. ee Mar Activities of the School Union High has tried to take her place among the other schools of the county in relieving peculiar condi- tions caused by the war and in pro- moting school War activities. Appealed to in the early part of the year, we assisted in saving the cran- berry crop on the bogs north of town. Then in the Y. M. C. A. drive we went “over the top” with $167.50, every cent of which has been paid. A Jun- ior Red Cross Auxiliary was organiz- ed, the girls making infants’ outfits, and the boys packing boxes and coat hangers. e A War Saving Society has been or- ganized and the purchase of Thrift Stamps encouraged. At last reports nearly $100 in U. S. certificates and Thrift Stamps have been purchased by the pupils, to say nothing Of sev- eral Liberty Bonds, owned by pupils and teachers. In this second War Fund drive for the Red Cross, the girls of the J. R. C. have assisted very successfully as so- licitors. There are none who are not more than willing to help when oc- casion offers. What is School Spirit Is it school spirit to slam your school? I should say not. By school spirit we mean the upholding of your school. There should be lots of school spirit in High Schools. Wher- ever the student goes, he should stand up for his school. If the school does have any bad qualities, he does not need to tell them, but tell the good things and praise his school. It was mentioned that if a school had any bad qualities, not to tell them, but a school should never have such things in them, and if there are any, the teachers and students should try to get rid of them. If a school team is to play another team, the students should all turn out to uphold and yell for their side. If the school gives a play, all the stud- ents and teachers should be back of it. One thing that is very important along the line of school spirit is the yells. Hach school should have a number of yells and not be afraid to give them when there is an opportun- ity. Remember, students, it is the school spirit that counts in your en- joyment of your good old school days. School Calander September 17, 1917.—School opened. A large class of Freshmen appeared. September 21.—First Student Body meeting, with election of officers. September 28.—Sophmores party for the Freshmen. tions. October 1.—School visited by Mes- sers Gilbert, Moore, Selnes and Schimpff. Appeal for help in cran- berry picking. October 3.—First day at the cran- berry bogs. (The last, too, for sev- eral.) More initiations. October 4-5.—The “stickers” return- ed to the bogs. Most of them earned a little more than the first day! Some walked home! October 18.—Class meetings, espec- ially Freshies. October 24.—Second Liberty Loan Holiday. November 7-8-9.—Vacation because teachers had to go to institute. November 13.—Edward Sawrey, the fisherman, gets the money making fever. November 19-26.—Y. M. C. A. pledg- ges. Loyalty shown to the extent of $167.50. November 29-30.—Thanksgiving re- cess. Francis Marsh and William Price sent as delegates to Older Boys’ Conference et Hugene. give Some initia- December 3.—Delegates returned. December 5.—Reporit of Conferences. Pennant for good attcndance won for school. December 21.—Public program at High School. First issue of monthly Sea Breeze. December 24.—Miss comes Mrs. Wyatt. December 24-January 2, ’18.—Christ- mas vacation. January 4.—Yell leader chosen by students. January 25.—First Semester ends. Perkins be- January 28.—Second Semester be- gins. Sub-Freshies appear. Sched- ule troubles for faculty. February 1.-—-Hlection of S. B. offi- cers for second Semester. February 15.—Measles in town has bad effect on attendance. February 27.—Junior Red Cross or- ganized. March 1.—Another program. Pro- duction of localized play. March 8.—Initiation of Sub-Fresh- ies. Some good dancers are found among the boys. March 21.—‘All of a Sudden Peggy” comes to school. March 29.—Good Friday. A number of our feminine students migrate on a hike at noon, negative the permission of the “King.” g April 1.—Small-pox scare now! No great danger. April 1-4-—Truants make up lost time after school. April 13.—War Savings Society or- ganized. i April 26.—Third Liberty Loan half holiday. May 1.—English IV, and Prof. and Mrs. Gaston entertained by Mrs. Wyatt. An indoor picnic supper. May 10.—The play dies for lack of interest. May 13.—Sca Breeze editorial staff hard at work. May 15.—Picture day. Only Fresh- ics and Juniors shot! May 20-23.—Many absences caused by the I. O. O. F. grand lodge meeting. High school tables and chairs attend the convention. May 24.—Bohemian night at Del Rey Beach. May 26.—Baccalaureate sermon in M. EH. church. May 28-29.—Final examinations. May 29.—Prof. and Mrs. Gaston en- tertain Seniors at six o’clock dinner at Blue Bird cottage. May 30.—Decoration Day. Holiday. May 31.—Commencement Day for 1918. Farwell to the four! Che Seuinrs The class of 1918 charged bravely forward at the beginning of a four year struggle with that wonderful, awe inspiring monster, Knowledge. The brave little class started out with the following enrollment: President, Joe Schamb erger; Vice President, Ruth Berry; Treasurer, Macey Neece; Secretary, Agnes Falconer, and Harry Spath, Milton Olson, Fay Shaw and Ida Anthony, the fighters. Led by these competent officers, the gallant little company distinguished itself in its first encounter with the cnemy. But through the repeated struggles and difficult charges of these four years, all but one of the adven- turers in the field of knowledge, fell a victim to the allied forces arrayed against them. Harry Spath, the brave fighter, stuck to the struggle and has at last reached his goal. Six of the little band, becoming discouraged by the hard fighting before them and the sacrif ices it demanded, deserted be- fore they had found s firm footing on the path to their goal. One of these has since become a victim of one of the deadly darts of Dan Cupid. Of the two left after this desertion, one, Agnes Falconer, was captured by the allied foes and was eliminated by graduation, for, having secured a suf- ficient number of credits, she graduat- ed with the class of ’17. The one fighter left, started out on the fourth campaign without a murmur of complaint. For five months he wended his lonesome wey beneath that ever darkenirg cloud above him. In February 1918, he made a memor- able charge against that monster Ex- amination and came forth victorious. Suddenly he beheld snother road which joined his own ard issuing there from were three recruits, Pearl Anderson, Helen Callaghan, Francis Marsh, by name. Upon inquiring he found that they were reinforcements, who had started on the weary journey a year later than he, and had, by tak- ing the short cut, or three years strug- gle, finally reached him five months before it was too late. Once more the weary traveler was the member of a small class. The little band joined forces and struggled along congenialiy in the last charge, which occurred May 28-29 in the form of much dreaded examina- tions. The suspense for the outcome of their attack on this moxuster was very great, but Friday morning May 31, the cloud of dread and suspense was lifted ard the rosy light of hope and success shone once more, for the first time in four years. The class had succeeded and reached its goal Friday evening of the _ thirty-first, when its efforts were crowned by re- wards, the diplomas. The triumphant class realizes and regrets the loss of the sympathy of their teachers who bore with them pa- tiently and encouraged them to stay with the struggle and to win, and al- so the loss of the comradeship of their classmates. However, they hope to be heard from soon in the greater struggle going on out in the world. We will do our bit. —P. A. 718 Junior Class Che Iuninrs The class of 1919 made its debut in- to the mysteries of High School life in the fall of 1914. The enrollment of the class at that time was: Naomi Smith, now of Astoria, Doris Haley, still with us, Julia Haney, Portland, Ore., Pearl Anderson, graduated this year, Nellie Carle, last seen in Astoria, Mae Hansberry, Astoria, Rupert Anderson, Washington High, Portland, Ore., Clifford Rice, Canadian Army, Joseph Pawson, shipyard, Portland, Wm. Price, still with us, Wm. Olson, present, Forest Larson, Selnes Wheatley, Frank Parker, here. Of the above, we have Wm. Price, Wm. Olson, Frank Parker and Doris Haley left. Elizabeth Honkanen has worked hard and caught up with us. Pearl Anderson is still in school, but got in a hurry and is leaving us be- hind. Wm. Price is a natty little fellow end is the most conspicuous member on account of his gaudy, golden hair. His nickname is Norway. He is fond of the ladies, is a jazz artist, plays a ukalelie in the moonlight and studies? English IV, Physics, Economics, Pen- manship, and sometimes typewrites. Doris Haley is a charming lass of about fifteen, has dark curly hair, lots of beaus, (mostly soldiers,) a wonder- ful voice, and a mysterious ring. We .call her Slim, Slender, Cutie, or Cur- ly Locks, while she studies English IV, Economics, Typewriting and Bookkeeping. Betty Honkanen is the cutest girl in the school, a blond, and plays the pi- ano. We don’t have any nicknames for her, but sweet things, as she only played hookey once in her life, and we feel sorry for her. She studies English II, Geometry II, Latin II, and Penmanship. Frank Parker is also one of the cel- ebrities of the class of 1919. His num- erous vocations while out of school, range from making a noise in the In- dependent Band, to tripping the light fantastic at the new Bungalow dance hall. While in school, his vocations, other than getting his lessons, consist of rooting for Henry George, and tor- menting Pearl Anderson. The lessons he is expected to get are in English IV, Econonomics, Physics and Solid Geometry. Wm. Olson is the most dangerous young man in the school. We call him Abdullah Khan or the Terrible Swede. Khan milks two camels ey- ery night before breakfast, is a favor- ite with the ladies. His dark features and jet black hair go to show the years he spent on the burning sands of the Sahara. He has a poet’s soul, and studies English IV, Econonomics, Solid Geometry, Physics and occasion- ally Typewriting. Our class colors are Orange and Black. Our class yell is “Kill the Kaiser!” Our class song ‘‘We won’t be home until morning.” Our class officers—unelected. ——W. (Py 79. Che Saphomores The class of 1920, after a short stay in temporary quarters entered the new Union High School with a membership of eleven —six girls: Elvera Miller, Dagny Oen, Blanch Ruthrauff, Aster Moore, Nita Olson and Tressa Cobine; and five boys: Leonard Peeler, Rod- erick Anthony, Edward Sawrey, An- thony Bain, and William Spear. During the year members of the class took active part in both physical and literary contests and Leonard Peeler, Edward Sawrey and Roderick Anthony were all members of the bas- ket ball team, while Leonard Peeler was one of the two chosen for the de- bating team. William Spear, our emi- nent Latin orator, presented a large pennant to the school from our class, and Nita Olson, Aster Moore, Edward Sawrey and Leonard Peeler took part in the declamatory contest, the latter carrying off second prize. We were the first class to spend our days within the walls of the new build- ing and this is an account of the start we made. During the year William Spear moved to Spokane, and Geneva Cryder- man entered school here in our class. At the beginning of t his year only six of the original class registered: Elvera Miller, Dagny Owen, Geneva Cryderman, Aster Moore, Teresa Cob- ine and Anthony Bain. However, Arita Sharp, who had been a resident here during the summer, took her stand with 1920. We have furnished one editor-in- chief and one assistant editor for the Sea Breeze; every member of our class belongs to the Junior Red Cross, and Arita Sharp ‘s president of the War Savings Society. Some time ago we had an addition to 1920 in the form of Howard Rum- mell, from W. H. S., Portland. But, sad to relate, two have deserted us— Dagney Oen and Tressa Cobine—leav- ing just six in the class of 1920. A, M., ’20. Che Frealunwn The Freshman of the class thet be- gan work in September, 1917, started on their High School life with many members and much enthusiasm. As the weeks went by, however, the stu- dents began to drop out until of the 26 that began at the first of the term we soon had only 16 left. At the middle of the year the new class of Freshmen came in and helped increase our numbers. Those who left were Rhoda Ander- son, Myrtle Button, Gladys Arnold, Edwin Salminen, Onnie Salmeen, Vir- gil Walker, Lillian Hutchinson, Gilbert Fulkerson, Marion Fulkerson, Ruth Be- Lieu, and Edna Fuller. Edna went with her grandparents to Timber, Oregon, while Ruth left for Portland. The others are still in Seaside. Those who are still attending school are Dorothy Johansen, Eva Tyberg, Es- ther Kari, Orville Spath, Mildred Ol- sen, Hazel Reeves, James Miller, Wil- liam Miller, Marie Christensen, Eliza- beth Marsh, Charles Olson, Glen Ste- vens, Leola Ball, Frank Hartman, Inez Stafford, Leonard Hutchinson, Esther Hansberry, Marie Schamberger and Claude Barnes. These are all progressing and we hope they will be back next year. ig, hl. ——90———_ FRESHMAN ALPHABET A is for Abernethy which we take to class, B is for Beth Marsh, a dark-eyed lass, C is for Claude, our sergeant at arms, who stands by the door and an- swers alarms, Dis for Dorothy, who Style,” but to other isn’t worth while, likes “Cafe Freshies it E is for Edwin, a dear Freshman lad, who seems very good, but is really quite bad, F is for Freshies—that's us all, who entered in January and last fall, G is for Gilbert, an over-grown boy, to whom Prof. Lovett said he’d give a toy, H is for Hazel, who hates every boy, because her heart was broken by Leroy, | is for Inez, the studious one, who gets all her lessons before joining the fun, J is for James, the giant of the class, who at exams knew he would pass, K is for Kaiser, whom we’re going to lick (say Kids, remember the cran- berries we used to pick?), L is for Prof. Lovett, who loves a joke, M is for Marie, who is usually broke, N is for Nasty, which we never say, and also for order—Oh! How we obey! O is for Order, that reigns o’er the school, P is for Piano, enjoyed as a rule, Q is for Quizzes, which Mrs. Wyatt gives, talk about hard! Say, boy, Gee Whiz! R is for Ruth Belieu, who likes the boys, especially Claude Barnes, which fact he enjoys, S is for Soldiers, Oh, how the girls rave, when a truck-load of ’em passes the school—we wave, T is for Trustworthy, which we all should be, U is for University, which we may some day see, V is for Vaccination, which the gram- mar school knows of, but the high school is trying to keep out of, W is for Water, in which Raymond got ducked, X is for Xams, in which some of us flunked, Y is for Yesterday, when Orville got sent from class, and Z is for Zero, which you’ll get if you don’t pass. Freshmen Class THE FRESHMAN’S FATE (Based on Fact) There was a goodly Freshman Come strolling down the lane, Filling the air with beauteous song At sound of which few men go wrong. Behind a bush three Sophomores, All three intent on crime, Await this goodly Freshman, With murderous design. They seized upon the fair youth, And round his face they tied A great big red bandana, And then the Freshman cried. He wept, and at his bitter tears, The Sophmores leapt with glee, For to those murderous villains, ’Twas a goodly sight to see. They bore him to a barrel, Half filled with mud and slime; (You do not know how hard it is To make this poem rhyme.) One took his hands and one his feet, The other took the rear To see that some professor Did not come and interfere. They soused the poor young Freshman Up to his nose and eyes. This mode of torture seemed to take The Freshman by suprise. For as he touched the liquid He struggled, screamed and hissed, And finally got up courage To shake his brawny fist. Pf oelry The Sophs now turned the Freshie loose— The Freshie, once more free, Ran swiftly to the teacher, And told upon the three. The teacher, then against the Sophs, His righteous wrath did hold— First paddled till his arm gave out, Then ended with a scold. Now to the worthy Sophomores, Some good advice I’ll give When next a Freshman bold you catch, Why, do not let him live. And to the Freshies, small and wee, I would advise once more: Never to travel all alone, But go in three and four. Oo——- “TO MAKE A MODEL TOWN OF SEASIDE.” Knock all the pep out of the village, Pinch our “pond” for disturbing the peace, For tossing and bounding intently, When our mayor has told it to cease. Make the elements snow in the sum- mer, And the sun to go off to it’s bed, Then lock in the jug every evening, His Highness, Old Tillamook Head. Pull the man who wears rain clothes, when the rain falls; Send the beach off to some warmer clime— That’s the means Seaside, A fine model town for all time. which will make OUR FACULTY Miss Ware, our Commercial Teacher, Is a bird, I say; For she teaches like a preacher All the livelong day. Mr. Lovett, the short guy down below, Gives us lessons each morn, And the way he makes us work Makes us wish we were never born. Miss Perkins teaches English, And also the way to write— She bawls us out five times each week And tells us we’re a fright. Miss McKay, the modest little teacher, Teaches English much to her own delight, And if we fail to get our lessons She makes us stay all night. The joy of the world is M. C. Gaston, The Prof. of the S. U. High: Some day perhaps he’ll own a Ford— And then he’ll be some guy. G. M. T., Ex’l19. —_9——_ ADVICE FROM AN UNOBSERVED OBSERVER Flutter, flutter, little heart; Don’t that soldier think he’s smart. Look, the flirt, he winked at me; Babble on, oh, Dorothy. Dorothy is filled with pride; Thinks she’ll be a soldier’s bride. Never mind, you still are wrong; You won’t die, if you do get stung. Little frosh, you surely know, That where’er the soldiers go, They don’t try to flirt with you; You're too young; you'll never do. Of course, the one with the big brown eyes, Who’s fifty-five (and no one lies), Would like to take a child to raise, About your size, of course, he says. So run along, and do not fail, When next you try to catch a male, Don’t wear your hair in a little pig-tail. Amen! A toast to the class of June ’19 from a Junior who is passing into the class of 718. Tho’ the days have long since passed, I recall with ease the scene, At the somewhat irregular meetings Of our class in sweet ’16. There’s Nell with gavel in hand, Calling in vain for order; Beside her, Pearl, with pen in hand, Acting as class recorder. The class before them clamours and howls, Intent on work and fun. Many a battle, with smiles and scowls, They’ve duly fought and won. “Let’s have a party,” says Naomi, “With games and lots of eats; “Where’ll we get the money?” Cries Parker, our treasurer sweet. Then Billy, all jokes and jests, Produces a general roar; “Order!” yells our president, “You kids do make me sore.” Those were the days, days of bliss! The best days ever seen. And here’s to the class of classes, To the class of June ’19. (6) FAVORITE SAYINGS Can’t be done. Oh, Joy! Harry Spath: Doris Haley: Frank Parker: Why not? Bill Olson: I don’t know. Elvera Miller: By Gosh. Elizabeth H: Ain’t she queer? Aster More: Huh? Geneva C: Bluey, bluey. Eva Tyberg: Oh, Goodness! Edna Fuller: Oh! Help! James Miller: Tee, hee! Myrtle Button: Oh, Shoot! 0 SEVEN WONDERS OF OUR SCHOOL Myrtle’s red hair. Geneva’s gentle voice. Dorothy’s wonderful stories. Marie C.’s latest fashions. Howard’s wonderful dimples. Mr. Lovett’s wonderful walk. Elvera’s great beauty. The following is a little poem sub- mitted for your approval by a Junior. The title of this is: ‘‘There was nitro- gycerin in the Billy Goat’s Mush.” Softly down the hallway fleeting, Went the Freshies to their meeting; ’Twas a motley crowd of girls and boys Creating an unusual lot of noise. On the board was no announcement Of a meeting of any kind; But there was an understanding of its occurrence In each little Freshie’s mind. The meeting was begun With the President in the chair; But it wasn’t called to order As there was no order there. Sweeter than Aeolian babblings, In that sunny land of drouths, Were the tintinabulations Of their automatic mouths. How they loved their gurgling guzzles, How they loved their fluent flow; How they loved to wind them up, How they loved to let them go. Each one talking to the other Caused the President untold bother; Till all order from their thots ad- journed, So homeward they their footsteps turned. Hark, ye verdant Freshmen, That you may make your class car- eer sublime, And, departing, leave behind you, A party on the sands of time.—The end. ——0———- Little words of wisdom, Little words of bluff, Make the mighty teachers Say “Sit down; enough!” —o-———_ Lives of Seniors all remind us We can strive and do our best, And, departing, leave behind us, Note books that will help the rest. Our treasurer, the ever hopeful, Was waiting for dues in vain, When a green little Freshie approach- ed her— She was sure of material gain. But alas! the Freshie, desponding Of her lesson in History One, Had come to our treasurer, seeking Help from the bigger gun. Next came a Sophomore. Oh! Horror! That class with their love of Ego; But at last she departed, still debtor, With an Algebra problem. O! O! Suddenly our treasurer straightened, She smiled, an encouraged one, For a classmate approaching her Had quite a business look on. But this time ’twas only to borrow, That the Junior had made his call, But our treasurer was saved from sorrow, By the Senior who saw it all. 10% Joh. Alby —— (9 The Juniors give a Prom; The Seniors, a reception in return; Then the Freshies call a meeting, But no outcome can we discern. How cruel that such criticism Be accorded the Freshman class, For their efforts to conduct a meeting, And their semblance to green grass. Yea, how cruel that so many poems and chaffing Be written of the Frosh, But some must bear the brunt of life, Then why not them, B’gosh? oO It seems to me that I’ve heard said, The Union High School has gone quite dead! But hear ye all, and know by this, It has not reached eternal bliss. Oh, No! Nor yet has gone the other way, But hear from it you will, some future day. ——_o-—-——_ Doris had a little lamb, With fleas as white as snow; And every where that Doris went Those fleas they had to go. Lit erary ( ; Torts It was morning....all was quiet and serene....not a sound broke the death- like stillness that hung over the room ....Save the occasional noise of a page being turned over by some studiously studying student.....The door opened. ....a monstrous form appeared on the threshold....it hesitated..... another door slowly opened....but no gigantic form emerged....then .. more silence a slight movement of the first door.. followed by further opening of the second....Suddenly....a voice broke the quiet stillness of the morning air. “Why....What....Who’s there?” Then both doors swung wide open and the contrasted forms of James and Arita glided into the room and to their respective seats. O DON’T FAIL TO SEE AND HEAR THIS SILVER-TONGED PALAVER! Question: Will Spearmint keep its flavor on the ped-post over night? Prof. Androcles Bonetop will be the Atlas of the Affirmative, whilst Prof Tecumseh Crackedskull will walk on said Affirmative, whilst upholding the negative. Both of these great men are of international reputation, having been in the many and various asylums throughout the world, and consequent- ly have a high standing among the people they have met. Prof. Bonetop is a graduate of Hysteria University, and Prof. Crackedskull comes highly recommended from the Opiate Acad emy of Insanity. Proceeds of this affair will go to wards placing Napoleon and Dante back on their respective thrones, tho they are at present kept in close con- finement at Salem, but are eagerly ready to regain their mental rights. We have among us one of the most gallant knights of chivalry to survive the evolutionary law of natural selec- tion and the economic laws of supply and demand. Being unable to find out under what title he goes into battle we are forced to divulge his maiden name, Sir Orville Spath. We have just received a telegram from the Associ: ated Press, to the effect that Sir Or- ville has received the Iron Cross of Insanity for effectually demolishing the ferocious humming bird which haunted his mother’s garden. Being well advised as to Sir Or- ville’s methods of attack, we shall make it publicly known as to how this great knight of the Sacred Order of Lunatics wins his victories. Letting ourselves into the medium of one who converses with the spirits, we see the gallant Orville, armed like David, only negative the sling, creep silently up the road to where the en- emy dingbat perches haughtily on the telephone pole. The gallant knight then fearlessly hurls missles at the brute until it crashes down broken and vanquished. Thus Sir Orville wins his victories and thus he will con tinue to win them till the sands of the desert grow cold, and the elephants roost in the air plants. ——o——_- GRAND MOONLIGHT EXCURSION At Drunkard’s Grove, Soctober 32th, Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Nine All persons, human beings or people wishing to embark on this delightful excursion, unconsciously coagulate at 13:62 P. X., on Homicide Wharf, cor- ner Tough and Starvation Streets. A few murders and suicides will be com- mitted to amuse the crowd. The barges, Beerkeg and Growler will be towed by the tugboats Hysteria and Delirium Tremens. Boats leave half ap hour before the appointed time, never to return. As this is a strictly infernal occasion, you will wear the usual asylum garb. Admission free. Gentle- men and ladies, 50c. Orphans accom- panied by their parents wil not be admitted. Dancing till dead. eh one Miss Doris Haley has been taking up sleeping exercises in connection with her English IV recitations. Pearl Anderson feels herself quali- fied to give an essay on the mechanical advantages of a Ford. Harry Spath hopes to become a pro- fessional smoke shoveler after finish- ing his course in the furnace room. Little Willie Olson goes whistling on his little way to and from school since Myrtle Button returned. Orville Spath says the Greeks were behind the times when it comes to ostracizing anyone from the country, compared with Miss Ware’s modern methods of migrating pupils from the Penmanship class. A. Bain, Esq., reports that he has received his life’s calling—which is selling bootleg whiskey in opposition to the Standard Oil Co., to decrease the high cost of living and advance the principles of Henry George. William Olson claims to have Ben Hur outclassed when it comes to speedy chariot racing, to which any- one must agree, who sees a white streak going down the road with a dark complexioned son of Sweden on the perambulator. ——_O——_ HISTORY 1 TEST GLEANINGS Heracles: Son of Zeus and killer of monsters. Cadmus: Island captured by Laced- aemonians and made power of Athens. Cythera: Founder of Thebes. Isagoras and Clisthenes fought for the throne; Isagoras won, but the poor people usurped him and put Clisthenes on the throne. Perseus: One of the best cuttings done by Perseus was Medusa’s head. Among the mythical heroes of The- bes was a great city of Greece named Cadmus. Hipparchus and Harmodius was the son of Hippias. After their father died the younger son got into a love affair and succeeded his brother. WHAT THE SENIORS AND JUNIORS KNOW That we breathe through our lungs. That Alsace Lorraine is in Siberia. That United States is at peace. That the Pacific Ocean is fresh water. That Pope wrote Wakefield.” “The Vicar of —o——_. WHAT WE LEARN In Physics: That it isn’t safe to play with a charged Leyden jar. In typewriting: How to use an eraser. In English: That a verb is a word modifying a noun, and that Dickens wrote The Merchant of Venice. In Math: That a circle is a square, bounded by an indefinite number of sides, and that a spontaneous homog- enous quadratic equation is a kind of punishment allied with capital pun- ishment. In economics: That Henry George was closely related to the missing link. ——_O-——__ SAYINGS OF VARIOUS STUDENTS Francis Marsh: Oh, Hen! Geneva Cryderman: I'll upset cha. Don’t get gay, Gal. William Price: Aw-w-w-w-w. Doris Haley: Oh! My! Helen Callahan: Huh! Pearl Anderson: Uh huh. Hizabeth H: Good Gracious! Marie Schamberger: Shut up! Esther Hansberry: Ditto. Harry Spath: I don’t know. Elvera Miller: Pooh Pooh. Arita Sharp: Why? Aster Moore: You can’t prove it. What! ——_Oo——__ Problem for Mr. Lovett to Solve It the distance from New York to Berlin is 4,385 miles, how many po- tato peelings will be required to shingle a wood-shed? okes Mrs. Wyatt (in English I class): Hazel, can you give me an equivalent for the hackneyed expression, “wreath- ed in smiles.’’? Hazel: ‘The girl had a large smile on her face.” Mrs. Wyatt: That may be true if she has a big mouth. Dorothy (in History I class): The Romans ate their noon-day meal at 2 o‘clock. Mrs. Wyatt in Gen. Science): When the rain falls, does it rise again? James M: Yes, in dew time. Freshie: I know who you are! Soph: Who am I? Freshie: Nobody. Marie S: I know where the first doughnut was made. Esther H: Where was it? Marie S: In Greece. Elvera: What book has helped you most? Helen: My father’s check-book. Arita S: I would like to have one of the Miller boys for a watch fob. Dorothy, dropping her book of Rome, said: “That is the fall of Rome.” To the Editor: Will you please pub- lish a recipe for making Freshman keep still? I find it impossible to keep their mouths closed for more than one minute. Respectfully, ELIZABETH HONKANEN. Ans: The only way is to do more talking than they. Reply: impossible. Orville Spath sat chewing gum in bookkeeping class, and also had his pedal extremities projecting into the aisle, whereupon Miss Ware spoke as follows: “Orville, take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in.” Frances (to Prof. Gaston): I am in- debted to you for all I know. Prof. Gaston: Don’t mention such a trifle. Mr. Lovett: I thought you knew that formula. Mildred O: I had my book closed. I wish I were a Fresh again, With ideals still unshattered, Because whate’er I wished to do, Then, no example mattered. Recited by Doris H. Leola Ball: We laugh at Mr. L’s jokes, No matter what they may be; Not because they’re funny jokes, But because it’s policy. The Freshman envy Seniors, For Seniors run the school; But when you are a Senior, You dare not break the rule. Every teacher calls to you, As down the hall you run; You must a great example set, And so miss all the fun. A kindly teacher told a maid A poem short to write. This seemed a snap, so she obeyed, And tried with all her might. She worked for hours but all in vain, Her mind was simply blank. She bit her pencil, rack’d her brain, Her thoughts and wits just sank. The poor girl worked until the dawn, And she was nearly dead; The morning found her senses gone, With ice bags on her head. In all the night one line she wrote, And it was short and sweet “O’er rippling waves the boat did float?’ Which made her verse complete. Eva Tyberg (in Algebra I class): Mr. Lovett, I don‘t understand the sixth problem. Mr. Lovett: I am glad to hear that, as I am getting tired of getting paid for doing nothing. So great was Pearl’s admiration of Abbotsford, the country place of Sir Walter Scott, that she was heard to declare that, when she was rich she was going over to Scotland and buy it from his ancestors. Mrs. Wyatt (in English I B): Now look at the board and I will try to run through it for you. Mr. Lovett, after being struck force- fully by a large wad of tin-foil which had glanced after hitting the ceiling end ended rather abruptly upon the bald pate of this prominent member of our faculiy, said to a guilty looking Freshman: “Pardon me for interrupt- ing you, but why did you shoot me with that wad?” The Freshman, having evidently been reading Guy Empey’s “Over the Top,” replied: ‘Well, you bloomin‘ blighter, ‘asn’t experience taught you to duck when a star shell is sent up?” Two High School students were journeying down one of the busy thor- oughfares of our peaceful little city, when a noise like unto trip hammers in a boiler factory came unto their ears, whereupon one of them said: “Gee, Whizz! I wonder what all that racket is about?” The other replied: “Oh, that is probably Fraak Parker knocking the ashes out of his pipe.’ Mr. Gaston (to Claude after a day’s absence): Did you bring your excuse? Claude: Nah, I couldn’t get one. Mr. G: Then it is a case of truancy? Claude: Not that bad; its just hookey. Miss McKay (in Domestic Science): Helen, that pie crust is not short enough. Helen: Well, if I make it any shor- er it won’t cover the pan. Edwin S. brings a pint bottle of milk to school every day, that is the reason he always is the first one out of the school building at night. He drinks it on the way home from school. He told Bertha that Bill P, had told him he would bring Ed one of the bottles he used when he was very small. Lit- tle Ed said that Little Bifl had not brought it yet (maybe Bill is still using it and hates to give it up). Miss Ware (to Charles Olson): Go on, chile’ you ain’t got no sense no- how. Charles: What’s my head for, then. Miss Ware: Why that’s just to keep 299 yo’ back from unraveling’. Inez Stafford: Next term I am going to undertake the study of Latin. Mr. Stafford: H’m, I suppose them dead languages do need an undertaker. Arita Sharp (in Domestic Science): I’ve lost a diminutive, argentous truncated cone, convex on its summit and semi-perforated, with symmetrical indentations. Pearl Anderson: ble. Here’s your thim- ADVERTISEMENTS Use Dr. Price’s remedies for love sickness and heart aches. We guaran- tee satisfactory results. (Paid adv.) WILLIAM OLSON Osteopath Breaking bones a specialty (Paid adv.) WANTED—A new geometry without any originals. Inquire of William Price. WANTED—A cook. Must be quali- fied to write long arguments and de- bates. Elvera Miller. WANTED—A pair of stilts. James Miller. WANTED—Some one to take me to Astoria. Geneva Cryderman. Marie Christensen (before Algebra exams): Say, Mr. Lovett, what are you going to give us in the Algebra exam? Mr. Lovett: Why, I’m liable to give you anything we’ve covered. You can expect one problem from every dif- ferent type of problem we've had. You know, Marie, at a banquet one always likes to have a taste of everything on the table, so I think it advisable to give you a taste of all the problems we’ve had so far. Marie: But they Hoooverize now, Mr. Lovett. : Mrs. Wyatt (in English I): Where is Hades? (A pause and finally a small boy held up his hand). Mrs. Wyatt: Well, Charles; do you know? Charles Olson: I think it’s where the peace conference is held, isn’t it? Marie Schamberger (asking permis- sion from Miss Ware, to speak): Can I talk? Miss Ware: Why certainly. Even Alexander the Great had Tyre trouble. Claude Barnes: Ruth BeLieu has a funny name, but I could change that. Harry Spath says: Beauty should be measured by volume. (And Francis Marsh continued to say “Oh, Hen.” William Olson says: Children should be seen and not heard. (William always keeps a respectful si lence). Mr. Lovett (in History I): Why did the Spartans want more land? Marie Christensen: To feed the people on. : PTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHTUTTCETTTTTTTTTTUOUCTTTTOHO TT TUUUUUTTOOTTT UTC TOOT COTTON UOT LOCOCO CULO CLL LCe LLL LOC ccLLL cco ccCCLL Lc LCLLooco CLL FOR FINE PHOTOS GO TO Montag s 403 Broadway Seaside, Oregon TCE eee = Williams Brothers Garage Buick Cars, G. M. C. Trucks General Repairing, Vulcan- izing, Oils, Greases, Gasoline 2SEASIDE, OREGON TT TTT U LULU LUM LOMAOLOCM LOU OLUNGEOLOUAUROUOUOCOUAUTOENOCOENONOOAUTNUAOLNONOCNONOOVENOTLONOOVOCUNTONTONUETOUAETUOVOTOTTUTTTVTTNTRUTTETVNTUTTOTITTNITITN TTT T TTT National Theatre MARION MYERS, Proprietors. TATE eee | You will be pleased if U visit The Model Cleaning, Pressing, To Order a Suit, Overcoat or Raincoat L. R. COMPTON Seaside, Ore. CTUTTEUT UO LOAEORUCOUCOR COO OAU COT OOA OAT UOT COMCOAUCOTUORON OOTOOTCONCOUIONUOOTOOTOONIUAIOONUONUONOOTOONIONCUONUOUCOQUCNTOOUCUOTOOTOONONUONTOONOONNOOTOOTOOITOOTOOICONCONNOOTONTCOTCONTON TOOT UOC OU ONONOON TOO OO TOA TOON ION ICAO TONTONTOO LOTTO ICON COMTOO COCO UTNTO TOUTE OOOO UOMO COOLIO RC LOLOL LUO ULL LU LULU LLL e DLO Looe oo i? TULL LLL LOCOCO LCCC UCUOMU MMMM MMMM TTT SUTTTTITT HITTITE TTT TTT TTTRT TTT TITTLE OOOO CULE ELLUM NTO OLSON ETO O ONTO STE UOMO OVEN OOO TUONO TOTH EERO TOTO TV TTT TUE LLU Thomas McKay © PLUMBING and HEATING. Universal Stoves, Ranges and Furnaces. FU Eee TULLE UO OOO ORO CO UUO OLA ORO OOROCOEOOO ONO OTUONONOCO TO OVONO UIT OMOTATOTOTI TV OTOVOTN ETO TOTO TNO TE TTTTRUTTMTTO TUTTI TTT TTT TTT Godfrey Brothers Sporting Goods Fishing Tackle That’s Fit for Fishing. Bicycles, etc. THe eee eee Pacific Power and Light Co. Everything Electrical TV Cook by Wire—Wash Without Work Jee TAO O. K. Barber Shop L. C. HENRYS, Proprietor. CC Children’s Haircutting.—STRICTLY FIRST CLASS. = COUT Home Bakery _ R. O. Ralston Established 1906. Real Estate and Fire Insur- Seaside’s Leading Bakery ance—Notary Public Mrs. GC. E: Barrett, Prop. z 608 Broadway :SEASIDE OREGON HTH =U eee THUUUTUUE TEEPE eee TULL EEUU MELO ECU LUUL LULU RECUR Re LL TUE (HTT HTT Winn TO THC FU Tee OUT SAU) eee eee eee SOUT LEP ROU ELUE LOU LELLOEPOOCOCUUMTUMAUOUUUMMDMOUAUCOURPOLAUONEORROUAPLOODOOEARENOTIDETTIEDITOTITOODOERIN TOIT TNTUITINTTINUOUTTITINTUITTODNOSESSTUTTTUORUMTUGE ETD Ot OT OED TUE Ee eee ee THEE SEO eee ULLAL LOO OM COAEO CON CUCON COA COMOT OOOO ORCOMOOOMUUETCON COTTON EOLUTUO TON ATAMOT COTTA OTTNTT TN TET ETA TTI TT TTA TTT INIT TTT TTT TIENT] TT TITTY se for the Money @. Compared with any other shoe you can buy for thesame money you'll find no better shoe value than a pair of Pruckx SHOES @ Whatever standard you judge them by—style, fit, comfort, service—they re not to be surpassed anywhere. 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