Scotia Glenville High School - Acropolis Yearbook (Scotia, NY)

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David Austin Kathleen A. Bacon Martin Bailey Sean Baker Ted A. Barnett Philip Benner Richard Betts Margie Glover amazed by Dave Walsh's wit.

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Dear Unkle Ritchy: I have this horibel spclmg problem and I wonderd if you coud help me I used to bee a good speler but somting hapened two me at mte somtime lass month whitch I dont understand I thik you shoid try to hep me buy doing som reserh into this abnormalitey whitch came upon me so sudenly. If you did this for me I wood be very graitfull two you and anyone who helped you Mabc I shoud get som shore treetment at som hoapitol. Wat do u think I shod do too remedi this dum problem? Help. Trublcd Speler Dear Trublcd Speler: You are obviously the victim of a very rare spell that falls upon selected individuals during the full moon which occurs in November every other 75 years. In most cases this spell will wear ofT in time. However, if you wish to effect an immediate cure my researcher revealed that in 1786 a Transylvanian Physician. Dr Bela Augosi. discovered how to cure the poblem Whoops' I mean problem. Dr Augosi writes: Take one pail of swamp water gathered dur- ing the full moon of any month during which the effects of the spell are evident Into the swamp water place three tablespoons of Dr. August's secret elixcr. Clinical analysts has revealed that this elixer has the same texture and chemical content as grape kool-ade This potion should be consumed at midnight on the front steps of a library. Although Dr. Augosi predicts instant cure, you might play it safe by keeping a dictionary close at hand Uncle Rich Dear Uncle Richie: I would like to thank you for your support of the soccer team, which did a great job this year. I say thanks to you also for giving me a chance to study at this school. It will help me in school when I'm back in Germany. It's a good idea of yours to try to get the students away from drugs and alcohol, and your Victory Dance will be the start of it. Thanks for all. Yours. Jan Podcll Dear Jan: Thank you for your nice letter regarding the soccer team. We all hope that your stay with us will be rewarding and that as a result of our association we may make one small contribution toward the building of a bridge of understanding and respect between our nations. Ach du Liebcr Uncle Richard Dear Uncle Richie: What ever happened to those quiet, serene study halls in which you could actually do some work? For the last three months I have been stuck in a study hall in which I am surrounded by a bunch of underclass girls that continually modulate their verbosity. They also read such subversive magazines as Teen Star. Mademoiselle. and Glamour Due to this I have had to leave this study hall at every available opportunity. The study hall teacher and I have tried everything short of execution, but they persist in their gabb- ing Please help! Signed. Distraught Young Individual Dear Distraught: Aren't underclass girls a tear? Fur Shur! Fur shur! And can they ever modulate their verbosity. Not only that, they can talk too If you re really sure they read those subversive magazines. I hope you are seeing the cutting edge of a new fad — reading Not many teeny boppers are into reading, so they can't be all bad If things get worse. wC can begin deportation proceedings and send them to California where they will probably be right at home. I am definitely opposed to execution. Unde Richey Dear Uncle Richie I have often wondered what your hobbies and interests are out- side of school. It’s very hard to picture you making a Christmas list or eating a bologna sandwich with potato chips’ I don't know why I am curious about this other than the fact that I only see you in the hall and hear you daily on the morning announcements. Love. Curious Dear Curious: It is pretty heavy stuff for a person to answer a letter like this. Your letter seems to imply that the principal lives in an ivory tower and always eats mayonaise sandwiches on white bread with the crusts removed. Actually the first part is accurate. However, know for a fact that Dear Uncle Richie he eats the crusts. As a close personal friend of the principal. I see him every day and I can make some observations about his hobbies and interests The principal tends not to prepare Christmas lists; he indulges in impulse shopping usually on Christmas F.ve. As I understand his motives, he loves the pressure, actually he begins to shop around noon of December 24 so the challenge is even greater I have seen him indulge in a bologna sandwich now and again, but his real weakness is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches com posed of crunchy peanut butter and strawberry jam; can you im- agine that? I don't think he cares much for potatochips From what I can observe, as soon as he climbs down from the tower, he immediately becomes a normal person, clay feet and all. Uncle Rich Dear Uncle Richie I have a problem which to me is serious. My boyfriend plays Varsity football. He doesn't get home until 6:30 p.m Since I go to BOCKS in the afternoon. I only get to see him for a little while in the morning He calls me every night, but I'm limited to 15 minute telephone calls As it stands right now I only go out with him on weekends I want to see him more than I do now. Could you in- tervene on my behalf and get my BOCES schedule changed to the morning so that I might see him in the afternoon and afterschool? What should I do to go about accomplishing this? Signed. At Wits End Dear Wits End: As I prepare an answer to your most poignant letter I would con- clude that the problem is now moot since the football season is over Did it ever occur to you that the separation may actually enhance your relationship? “Absence makes the heart grow fonder? ' Which ever it is or was. you are witnessing a phenomenon that is never ending. Consider this, if you two should some day marry he will work all day and so might you. Then after work it will be softball in the summer, hunting in the fall, bowling in the winter, and TV football every Sunday. You're just getting some early experience with a problem which most women face. I would be able to write much more but my wife has just told me that when I finish the dishes she wants me to run the vacuum and take out the garbage. Uncle Richie Dear Uncle Richie: I have a growing annoyance about the student parking lot Every morning when I pull into school I have to search around to find a decent parking space, and if its later than 7:30 a m. forget it all the good parking spaces arc filled up. (as you can tell I have a favorite spot). My suggestion is to have all the seniors names on their own parking spot Of course, the better than average cars gel first choice of spots, average get second, poor, third, and so on and so forth. Frustrated Ferrari Dear Frusty: You poor thing I know exactly what the trouble is. You are at- tempting to drive that Ferrari into a parking lot where he is definitely out of place Hu pride is damaged and you know those Latins when their egos are involved Have you noticed how difficult he is when you arrive after 7:30 a m., so fussy, first he turns his nose up at one spot then another'' A Ferrari will not park next to just any old car. as you know. He wants to arrive in a regal manner, sweep down the parking lot. turn and ease into the pnze spot. Then let the peasants gather about. Your only chance of curing this very common complaint is to ar- rive before 7:30; or. you can move to Niskayuna where he will pro- bably find company. Bona Fortune! Uncle Rich Dear Uncle Richie: I am a concerned pedestrian who walks to school. Every day I encounter large groups of the so called “beautiful people. These beautiful people partake in socially degrading activities, such as the smoking of cigarettes and alleged controlled substances. They also mock, mimic and taunt us passers-by with unscrupulous demodulated verbosities. We. the walking students, would like to know what can be done to rectify the situation Signed. Had Enough Dear Had Enough: Under no circumstances should you give the beautifuls any hint that you hear their taunts, and very seriously, you should care less what they have to say. I am convinced that individuals who in- dulge in the verbal harassment which you describe do so as a result of their inability to cope with their own feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. The unscrupulous demodulated verbosity of which you speak is part of a tribal ritual chant which when studied closely reveals a scries of intelligible words separated by ineffective reinterpreta- tion. and obscenity. Since the beautiful speak thus to their friends, very often to their teachers, and probably their parents, it is not therefore so unusual that you also should be saluted in like manner From a practical view, may I suggest that you use an alternate route to the school. Since the beauts” tend to convene their meetings at a particular location, it is possible to enter the building by at least two other routes which are not substantially longer than entering by the main door. Take heart Had Enough there will always be the beautiful people for you to deal with. You must be grateful that you can decide the difference between yourself and those who use mockery as a weapon If there is ever an excuse for you to act “upity.” the time is right when you pass them. If they'disturb your high hat anyway, don’t leave them in any doubt of your disdain. Uncle Rich Deer Uncle Richy. I wood like to rite you to thank you for hiring all of those wonderful cnglish Teachers I have never learned so much in my entier life. I was w undering like if I could may bee posibiy becum an English tcachure wen I get out of collej This is the only thing that I have set mi hopes for I real lee look up too yoo a lot so I was kmda wondereng if maybee like you could possible give me sum advise. I dont no wear I woold bee without all of my English Skills Thanksa heap!!! F.nglush fanattic Dear English Fanatic: I read your letter with great interest; it is evident that you are enthusiastic about a career as an English teacher. Your interest is obviously the result of the excellent leadership and example you have received. I do have one suggestion however, when you Finally become an English teacher. I would get a new type writer The one you how use makes too many misteaks Uncle Rich Dear Uncle Richie I think I have the symptoms of a serious problem called senioritis. I daydream constantly during class and have developed a habit of skipping classes, (mainly early in the morning and sometimes all day on Mondays). I Find myself bringing the wrong notebook to class just so I can go to my locker and roam the halls I also try to talk to as many people in the halls as I can. just to waste time This problem is turning into a sad case, but I need help desperately before it gets worse. (I never thought it could happen to me). Signed. Your Typical Senior Mid-semester Dear Typical Senior Mid Semester I have read and re-read your letter and I am concerned that you do indeed have an acute case of senioritis. I urge you to seek medical attention at once before this irrelevant disease makes fur- ther inroads. Recent research has revealed that unintended senioritis can become so habit forming as to require intensive detoxiFicalion Because this disease tends to become epidemic, and is extremely infectious, we recommend that you immediately seek membership in senioritis annonymous Although the recovery rate for advanced senioritis is very slow. I am pleased to report that there have been very few people ever to have lost their academic lives as a result of this malady If you are unable to overcome this problem on your own. you will probably be referred to Dr Richard McGuire's Senioritis Clinic Rumor has it that Dr. McGuire's cure for this dreaded sickness is 100 percent effective If all else fails, why not sign yourself into Dr Mcuuire's clinic? Uncle Richie 25

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