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Page 11 text:
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Still unable to find the guilty party. I took the fastest shuttle that I could find to the planet Mars where I came upon Vernon Copeland and Samuel Crawford who were on trial for designing too many computers (Sam was also accused of being a Russian spy). The case was presided by Judge Alice Mathis with the infamous Micheal Campbell as prosecuting attorney and with Ms. Terry Pringle acting as council for the defense. Unfortunately, the trial didn't turn out as expected, but I was able to learn the whereabouts of the other ex seniors from Kevin Toler, the mortician, after the defendents were executed. After returning to earth, I paid a visit to Kelvin Cameron, president of Cruel Bunch Chemical Industries. Inc., to gather more information. Upon refusing my request. Kelvin engaged me in mortal combat. For hours we delivered powerful tayturns to each other until 1 uttered the mystical words, “Don’t even try it! which left Kelvin helpless. After his defeat. Kelvin showed me his laboratory where Harold Liggins. Myron Ash. and Luccttc Brown were trying to synthesize a chemical reaction which would successfully resurrect Adolf Hitler and Lady Macbeth, the founders of the Cruel Bunch. After 1 left Kelvin's firm, I continued my unending search for the seniors of the Class of’79. But you may ask. “What crime have they committed?’’ Well, on the seniors’ last day at Science High, the entire teaching staff was viciously murdered in the most brutally destructive food fight in all of recorded history. So. 1 shall not rest until I have tracked down the villain who shouted those infamous and despicable words. “Food fight!!!’’ CLASS OF 1979
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Page 10 text:
“
Class Prophecy On June 30, 1999, I. Inspector Surenot Holmes, began my investigation into “The Case of the Missing Class of 79. I arrived at the scene of the crime (i. e.. Science High) where 20 years earlier the offense had been perpetrated. Searching the deserted guidance office, I found a list of the names of the students along with other pertinent information. With these clues in hand, 1 rushed out of the building to set out after the culprits. Losing no time. I took the next supersonic transport to Florida. While on the plane, I was entertained by Sharon Anderson, the stewardess, and Clinton Kinslcr. the chief steward, who were hustling in the aisle to the disco beat of the hottest band around. Eugene Leary and his Sour Notes. One of the guitarists in the band was Kenney Treadwell who still wishes he could play guitar like Jimi Hendrix. Heading toward the cockpit to lodge a complaint against the music, I found Micheal Baulkman at the helm with Troy Caldwell who was casually dismantling the plane's control console. Unfortunately. I could not reach Mike at that time because he was having delusions that he was a World War II living ace shooting down the Red Baron over Vietnam. Therefore. I promptly parachuted from the plane. After landing in one of the shark tanks in the Marineland Aquarium in Miami, 1 found Damian Robinson feeding the man eating dolphins with the chemical extracts from four year old boys. With him was the eminent oceanographer. Anthony D. Clark, who was trying to figure out why his pet fish died when he took it out of the water. Knowing that I wouldn't get much information from those two, I left and took a submarine to France. After arriving in Marseille. I soon discovered that Beverly Fulton, Martha Jacinto, and Athena Thomas were residing in a SI6 billion chateau which had been originally designed by Ms. Fulton for psychiatric patients. Upon visiting the chateau, I was informed by Beverly that Martha (who was a famous pediatrician) was out chasing little French babies around the French countryside so that Sheila Jones, a noted occupational therapist, could find jobs for them. Nevertheless. I was able to meet Athena who was busily typing the pages of her autobiography entitled “Mein Kampf Part 11. 6
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