Schuster School - Proscenium Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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To Edith Gilligan, one-time member of the Junior Class, we in- scribe this epitaph: She Read ttMirandy,i and came to her end. The Post Scholarship Pupil, whose loss we lament, Cried all night for her Mamma, then back home she went, WE. WONDER Why artists should never marry. What became of Evervaat lf Edna Ramsey was ever on time. if Warbling', is a synonym for iiBleating. If Gertrude Brice ever combs her hair. What would happen if Betty Langmeier forgot to imitate the magpie. If Al. Cash was ever serious. If Faith has any hopes. If John Alexander ever stuck to the same girl for more than a week. If Bert Thompson will ever land a job. Why Boyd shaved his moustache. If a horse knows its actual size tClothilde will tell you the answerj GREAT DISCOVERY IN THE WORLD OF SCIENCE Laughter is a contagious disease. It has recently been proved by the discovery of the microbe in a close examination of Esther McHenry's laugh. GAUS ELEGY tWith Apologies to Thomas Crayl The school gong tolls the knell 0f parting day, In students' lockers turned is the last key, Boyd on the Crosstown jolts his homewarcl way, Leaving the stage to darkness and to me. Now fades the glimmering shaft of sunset light, And all the air a solemn stillness holds, Save in the office Where John claims a right To know if thru his part the plot unfolds; Save that from yonder ivy-mantled towir Across the way the moping owls complain; Save where the drapiries left by Tyrone Power Swish in the breeze and softly fall again. Page seventy-fnur

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FACTS AND FICTION We all know how sensitive Betty Langmeier is about the length of her nose and therefore think this is one on her. Betty, through some sad Chance, scratched her nose, which started to bleed just as she was on her way to the library to secure that last volume of - well, we won't tell on you this time. She asked her aunt if there was any court plaster in the house. After being informed that there was some in her sewing basket, Betty quickly had the scratch covered. Down in the library she noticed that everyone Who looked closely at her smiled, and the Clerk laughed outright. Very much annoyed, on returning home, she met one of the girls and asked if there was anything wrong with her appearance. uWell, I should think there is! What's that you've got on your nose? uCourt plaster.n uCourt plaster nothing; it's a label from a reef of cotton that says iWarranted 200 yards 10ng.' ,. Betty says she'll never grab anything in the dark again. Someone asked Rickey on returning from supper the other night if he tipped the waiter; he said he did, so to speak - he turned him down. The other day as Esther McHenry was coming up to school on an Evanston car, which, wonderful to relate, was quite empty With the exception of one man, who, as she entered, arose, made her an unsteady but elaborate bow, and said, Madam, please be kind ,nough to asshept thish plashe. There was nothing else for her to do, so she thanked him and sat clown. All the way up the poor idiot hung to the strap, swaying in the breeze, with not a soul in the car except Esther and the conductor. Occasionally we have known Esther to be mistaken for other people UVlarie Dressler, for instancei , but we think it really pathetic that her avoirdupois is increasing to such an extent as to lead her to be taken for a carfull. John Alexander is reminded that, no matter how high his head may be, his feet are still on a level with Rickey's. I N M E M O R I A M Edwin Rickey it was with extreme sorrow that we received word of the artistic decease of one of our most prominent and promising adherents. We have sustained a grievous loss. Our Director and Property Man is no more. He has departed this life for realms unknown to us, where he fills his little place in the eternal scheme of things by selling sewer lids to improve the drainage of southern towns. Alas, poor Edwin! We lament the day That Lucre called thee from Art's tedious way. Tears for thy dead. soul from our eyes do well, As, unconsoled, we say our last farewell! Page seventy-three

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Beneath this stucco roof, that borders shade, Behind these footlights turned off now to keep Down the electric bills, Frank Gau hath made His hearers roar with laughter till they weep. For him no more these blazing foots shall burn, Or busy prop-man ply his usual care, No audience will here ask his return For encores, beg for more and more to spare. Oft dithhe people to his power yield, He had a knack of telling an old joke With such persuasive unction, it appealed To one and all till laughter from them broke. Let not Ambition mock his short-lived toil, His Heeting wit, his destiny obscure, Nor Grandeur hear with a disdainful smile That he was Comedy's apt cynosure. Nor you, ye proud, impute to him the fault If Memory to his wit no trbphies raise, Where thru the aisle and thru the Playhouse Vault The loud applause swells with the note of praise. Th' applause of listening thousands to command, Managers and Directors to despise, To scatter bathos to a smiling band Of tired business men with heavy eyes. His lot forbade; ah, Frank, what can assuage Thy loss, for thy airtistic soul is fled? We scrawi thine epitaph and leave the stage Empty save for the phantoms of its dead. THE EPITAPH Here rests his head upon the lap of Art, Genius, to Fortune and to Fame unknown; Thalia smiled, but he could not depart From Business, who has claimed him for his own. Edwin Rickey, recently returned from the road, has announced his engagement to a Georgia girl. Is she to be congratulated or mourned? asked Mr. Agin. Page seventy-Eve