Schuster School - Proscenium Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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FACTS AND FICTION We all know how sensitive Betty Langmeier is about the length of her nose and therefore think this is one on her. Betty, through some sad Chance, scratched her nose, which started to bleed just as she was on her way to the library to secure that last volume of - well, we won't tell on you this time. She asked her aunt if there was any court plaster in the house. After being informed that there was some in her sewing basket, Betty quickly had the scratch covered. Down in the library she noticed that everyone Who looked closely at her smiled, and the Clerk laughed outright. Very much annoyed, on returning home, she met one of the girls and asked if there was anything wrong with her appearance. uWell, I should think there is! What's that you've got on your nose? uCourt plaster.n uCourt plaster nothing; it's a label from a reef of cotton that says iWarranted 200 yards 10ng.' ,. Betty says she'll never grab anything in the dark again. Someone asked Rickey on returning from supper the other night if he tipped the waiter; he said he did, so to speak - he turned him down. The other day as Esther McHenry was coming up to school on an Evanston car, which, wonderful to relate, was quite empty With the exception of one man, who, as she entered, arose, made her an unsteady but elaborate bow, and said, Madam, please be kind ,nough to asshept thish plashe. There was nothing else for her to do, so she thanked him and sat clown. All the way up the poor idiot hung to the strap, swaying in the breeze, with not a soul in the car except Esther and the conductor. Occasionally we have known Esther to be mistaken for other people UVlarie Dressler, for instancei , but we think it really pathetic that her avoirdupois is increasing to such an extent as to lead her to be taken for a carfull. John Alexander is reminded that, no matter how high his head may be, his feet are still on a level with Rickey's. I N M E M O R I A M Edwin Rickey it was with extreme sorrow that we received word of the artistic decease of one of our most prominent and promising adherents. We have sustained a grievous loss. Our Director and Property Man is no more. He has departed this life for realms unknown to us, where he fills his little place in the eternal scheme of things by selling sewer lids to improve the drainage of southern towns. Alas, poor Edwin! We lament the day That Lucre called thee from Art's tedious way. Tears for thy dead. soul from our eyes do well, As, unconsoled, we say our last farewell! Page seventy-three

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JUNIOR WIT Junior e Why does Laura Hoffman resemble a violin? Seniorel don? know. Why? Junior Uacetiouslyyw Because she's so often seen with a beau. HEARD IN MAKEUP CLASS Mr. Agin was explaining the fact that Eucalyptus was used in a certain kind of make-up. Huh, said Betty Langmeier, looking up with the putty nose she was trying to blend in with her own features dented queerly in the middle and ludicrously point- ing sidewise, HI thought that was some kind of fits. AT REHEARSAL FOR HTHE BRIBE The Director e Monday night, dress rehearsal. Edna Rohan e But my costume won't be finished. Mr. Agin tinnocentlyy- 0 well, just wear a suggestion. SCANDAL IN THE OWL! Dignified Member of Schuster School Faculty Reported Engaged in SNOW FIGHT IN COLLEGE HILL It is reported that the Dramatic Director of the Schuster School deported him- self in such a manner on the Sanitarium grounds that one of the keepers mistook him for an inmate. The leading man was thIOWn dOWn twice, and several of the girls' faces were severely chapped when they next appeared at school. QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS What length ought Gertrude Brice's petticoats be? A little above two feet. What is the first thing Clothilde Heiman looks for in Church? The hymns thimsl I What does A1. Cash take from you before you know it:J Your photograph. Why is Edna Rohan like an umbrella? Because she is accustomed to reign. Why does Miss Griffin often call the moon the silver moon? Because it comes in halves and quarters. Why is Clothilde Heiman like salad? They both take a lot of dressing. - Olga Reinstatler. Page seventy-two

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To Edith Gilligan, one-time member of the Junior Class, we in- scribe this epitaph: She Read ttMirandy,i and came to her end. The Post Scholarship Pupil, whose loss we lament, Cried all night for her Mamma, then back home she went, WE. WONDER Why artists should never marry. What became of Evervaat lf Edna Ramsey was ever on time. if Warbling', is a synonym for iiBleating. If Gertrude Brice ever combs her hair. What would happen if Betty Langmeier forgot to imitate the magpie. If Al. Cash was ever serious. If Faith has any hopes. If John Alexander ever stuck to the same girl for more than a week. If Bert Thompson will ever land a job. Why Boyd shaved his moustache. If a horse knows its actual size tClothilde will tell you the answerj GREAT DISCOVERY IN THE WORLD OF SCIENCE Laughter is a contagious disease. It has recently been proved by the discovery of the microbe in a close examination of Esther McHenry's laugh. GAUS ELEGY tWith Apologies to Thomas Crayl The school gong tolls the knell 0f parting day, In students' lockers turned is the last key, Boyd on the Crosstown jolts his homewarcl way, Leaving the stage to darkness and to me. Now fades the glimmering shaft of sunset light, And all the air a solemn stillness holds, Save in the office Where John claims a right To know if thru his part the plot unfolds; Save that from yonder ivy-mantled towir Across the way the moping owls complain; Save where the drapiries left by Tyrone Power Swish in the breeze and softly fall again. Page seventy-fnur