Sarnia Collegiate Institute and Technical School - Collegiate Yearbook (Sarnia, Ontario Canada)

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96 TI-IE. CO LL EGIATE. page-no, it couldn't be possible. Yes-without a doubt there was Clara smiling at us, t-he old Clara still, with that trusting smile that the world would smile back at her. Feverishly we read the print. Claire la Jeanne was coming in a wonder- ful talking picture at the Up-town. Yes, she was the leading lady, a star now. XYe did remember a lovely soft voice Clara just a trace of huskiness volume. Clara had made now what had, with to give it good, she had crashed through. I-Ier chance had come and she had grasped the opportunity. Yet somehow think- ing it over we had rather expected O it after all. That determined line of her jaw told plainer than words how she had succeeded. Yet it didn't seem right that she should have all this honour, and yet we wouldn't find a reason to deny it of her. All our work seemed so sordid now, without dreams, and all the glamour stripped off. And there was Clara-Clara with wealth, suc- cess, friends,-we were likely for- gotten long ago. She didn t seem useless or inadequate any more, she was glorious now. Yet we kept seeing her, that half defiant, half pleading air, and that toss of her head as she came into a room. Rcsszsasoznaaasazzazzczaezsaso- MARGARET'S DELUSION -ottztozttzsoazasnz aacttacntsh 55 IFE is a big problem, Sally. isn't it?-such a big prob- lem. So mused a young girl, in her early teens, on a sunny afternoon in June. Sfhe had come slowly up the broad green slope and had flung herself down on the ground beside an older girl, who was reading a book. Margaret Bond was young indeed, barely fourteen, but a look at her earnest little face would start- le one. There seemed something fathomless in her deep blue eyes, which constantly stared straight a- head as though seeing great things far beyond her surroundings. W'lha.t makes you say that, Marg- aret? her sister asked. Everything, Sal. Do you know Iim afraid of life, because it seems so big and mysterious? I don't want to live long. Olh! Margaret, what a terrible speech. God will surely punish you for that! Really I can't understand you. I know you can't, Sally, no one understands me because I'm so dif- ferent. I re-ally love y-ou Sal, but oh. I seem such a stranger to you. I can't do the things you do and the things girls of my own age do don't interest mef' Never mind, dear, you really are a remarkable child, and as you grow older you'll change your views. But I don't want to get older! I don't w-ant to live: can'-t you see, Sally, I am frightened of life. VV'hat is there in it ?-nothing but strife- strife always. Oh! how I hate it all. Sally rose and walked away in disgust. Every little wihile her ec- centric young sister would suddenly declare her fear of life in general- without any apparent reason. Sally did not know her sister nor did she try to become familiar with her. The wfhole family in fact treated Margaret almost as a stranger be- cause there seemed to be about her no childish or girlish traits to love. She was decidedly queer . Afiter her sister's abrup-t dismissal Margaret stood up, looked around her with that vacant stare and made for the kitchen. 'Ilhere she wanted to find comforft. Fat, genial old Jane, the cook, loved Margaret with

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THE COLLEGIATE 95 we never had time for, as far as that wen-t. But nothing very important came her way, for she seemed rather inadequate. She was just one of those girls who were going along. VV'e thought she felt rather out of it at times when we were talking about plans for some party we were going to throw at the Bluebird, but stopped as she entered. But she always put on a defiant air and gave a toss of her head making us feel synipaftheftic yet superior. She was harmless though, so we didn't mind. Clara was a year our senior at college and would graduate that spring. The diplomas were given out and when Clara got hers and left us with her few neatly packed clothes, with scarcely more than a careless good-bye and wave of her hand, we felt that it didnlt really matter. Mfaybe a fewiof us felt sorry, The world would treat her hard, poor kid , but really what could you expect? She would never know our successes and triumphs, oh well! Soon we almost forgot Clara except that occasionally a remark could be heard, Gee, I wish Clara were here to do this essay for Geary. But she had passed on into oblivion, or so we thought, and we continued with our dates, parties, studies and plans for the future. looming so neiar, circled with a gold- en halo of success. VVe were mod- est, but of course it was understood that laurel wreaths awaited us. The year whirled on, the exams came and passed, we all had hopes of honours and most did pass very creditably but with no outstanding bnilliance. just before we gradu- ated a letter ciame, plain, white, but which roused us like a thunderbolt. No, it wasn't possible, why even that had been beyond our wildest dreams. Perhaps the letter was upside down, certainly she, Clara, col ld not be there. But she w-as in ' ollywood and the letter was not upside down. Burt after a few seconds it seemed less wonderful, less like a fairy-tale, for really she had a- chieved nothing. She had just gone to Hollywood to visit an aunt and decided to try out in Vitaphone pictures. Reading between the lines she was just another extra girl among the thousands of teeming hopefuls. whose stars rise only to fall-all too soon. She wouldnot have a chance, of course not: it was too foolish to bother ourselves with- and yet, we were just the teeniest bit jealous, just a little dissapointed, and rather flattened by this letter. For certainly in the natural cause of events, Clara should be tapping a type-writer in some small office, or married to some perfectly ordinary man and living up in an apartment. She should not be in Hollywood. that Mecca of our dreams, even if she were an extra. Somehow. Clara and Hollywood and dreams just did- n't mix, just couldn't materialize. But why worry, Clara meant noth- ing to us. lYe had good solid fu- tures all mapped out. just what they were we can't somehow re- member. No more news was heard of Clara for months, and the few times we saw each of our friends there was too much to talk about without Clara. But somehow still in our minds there was a little wondering about that ash-pale girl whose quali- ties we were just beginning to realize. Her quiet unobtrusive 111211- ner, her sweet smile, her ready help, her yearning for our company and secrets which we never undersvtood, taking reticence and shyness for that manner that speaks plainly, Mind your own business. Wie did try to drive away that shadow, those memories of our carelessness, our neglect of this orphan, for later we learned her parents were dead. But, good heavens, why should it worry us? Didn't we have enough to do thinking about our jobs? So on we plodded and Clara entered our minds no more. She was for- gotten-forgotten did I say? Yes, but only for a short time. VVe were looking at our evening papers and-there on the theatrical

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THE COLL EGIATE. 97 all her heart and to her the latter told all her troubles and unburdened her silly and strange ideas. Jane was a good listener and saw in the little girl a character of passionate tenderness and an over-developed mind. Margaret had been the odd child of the Bond family since a baby because all her sisters were so much older than she. She had been left to herself a great deal and from a young tot had expressed amazing ideas and taken delight in lis-tening to the deep conversations of her father, a university professor. Margaret reached the kitchen and looked for Jane, but she was no- where to be found. She searched everywhere and then she suddenly remembered Jiane's gone shop- ping . XVith a bound she was out of the house and ran down the street witlh a peculiar half-running and half-walking stride. Mother would be angry, she knew, at her running d-own town in an old dress and es- pecially since she was after Jane- but then mother seemed always angry. Down shady boulevards and through the park: Margaret didn't stop until she came to the business centre of the town-then only did she slow down and began to look inquiringly about for Jane. Marg- aret had been thus walking, much saw lane, hurrying along through the crowd, on the other side of the street. She started across the road in a blind rush, when in about the middle she heard a wild confusion of blowing horns. She stopped and looked around dumibly. Then she felt a dull blow and fell head- long on the pavement, under a car with grinding brakes ...... Some days later Margaret awoke. for the first time since her accident, to see herself surrounded by tearful parents and sisters, also a nurse and doctor. She moved to sit up but fell back with a fearful pain surging through her body. She looked at the doctor, then at the bed and at once her eyes took on that far-see- ing stare, a short time ago so famil- iar t-o them. Then she smiled, a slow, happy smile. Oh, doctor-she smiles! She will live? cried her exhausted mother. The doctor shook his head but spoke not a word. Margaret con- tinued smiling and staring straight ahead, seeing none of the anguished faces around her. T'hen she stirred, slowly, painfully, and whispered Sally, God didn't punish me, he blessed me. And she smiled happily again, fior she knew that no longer was the big problem of life to bo-ther her. to the amusement of many shoppers, Yes! Margaret was decidedly ' - C ! for about ten minutes when she 'queer'. Httttttttztnttnsaaaetztttattto- CANADA AMONG THE NATIONS tThis Essay is the winner of the C:llegiate Essay Cmipeiitinll- -assistants: stnnsnaoattatttaah O understand arigfht the position of Canada among the nations it is necessary to c-onsider not only her present relationship, bult also her past position, and from a study of these to vision her future standing in the world. When Canada's history began she was handicapped in her struggle for progress by the fewness of her pe-ople, but these few fought on bravely, and not in vain, againslt the difficulties which presented themselves. The population gradu- ally increasedjand the vast extent of Canada not yet developed provi- ded t'he new settlers with great op-