Sarnia Collegiate Institute and Technical School - Collegiate Yearbook (Sarnia, Ontario Canada)

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122 THE COLLEGEATE NOTICE On Thursday, Feb. 31, 1928 in KOIVTOKAHALL, KOMOKA The Zeigfeldt Minstrels present TUTANKHAMEN AT THERMOPYLAE fOr-The Charge of the Light Brigadej The play is realistically given by actors of more or LESS talent, correctly attired in 'luxedos and Armour, mounted on camels. The cos- tumes are strikingly original in that one half of the audience are in bathing suits and the others are in their seats. The Battle Scenes are tremendousg horses and aeroplanes are liying in all directions at once: while heavy siege guns discharge over-ripe tomatoes and eggs at the balcony. The background of the stage shows the interior of the Casino at Monte Carlo while in the foreground the fountain of La Louvre splashes magnificent- ly over the orchestra: in the wings one can see Cheops building his pyramid with toy blocks and the orchestra leader putting resin on his violin. Curtain falls then rises to the tune of Horses, Horses, Crazy over Horses played as an overture by the orchestra. ACT I-Scene 1 ln the first scene King Tut drives up to the Louvre Fountain in his Rolls- Royce. He leaps out and, striking a match on a statue, lights his pipe: he then enquires for the rest of the army. A traffic officer informs him that they have gone to defend Thermopylae from the Persians, Germans, Arabs, or what do you offer? .,.. King Tut is annoyed and says unprintable things in bad French. Curtain Falls. SAME ACT-Scene ll Same Curtain Rises. In the second scene the Casino and the Louvre Fountain have disap- peared and we find a row of mountains in their place. The Greek army is calmly eating its lunch in the shade of the pass. Cn the other side of the stage we notice a Persian tGerman or Arabl spying upon them with a pair of held glasses. The drummer in the orchestra has broken a leg. King Tut gallops furiously up on a motor-cycle dressed in plus fours and gives the order to hold the pass at all costs. The Persians tGermans or Arabsj attack furiously but are driven back by a large number of police dogs disguised as Pekinese hounds. Curtain Falls. Still the Same Act-Scene HT Same Curtain still rises The Persians fflermans or A-rabsj are again attacking and half the Greeks are apparently dead. The battle stops for several moments yvhile the enemy retire behind the pass to drink XVhistle. In the meantime the traitor tyou can tell him by his traditional beard, moustache and sinister ex- pressionj sneaks forward and places a Detour sign at the Persian Qfierman or Arabj entrance of the pass. At a signal from the orchestra leader the

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rf., THE COLLEGIATE 121 He .has views quite profound lVhich he will propound At every time of the day. Ralph Misnerls a big burly chap, ln school he's a kind of a sap, llut as he's on the team We won't criticize heem E'en though therels not much 'neath his cap. s if uv za lliillie in a ht of gall Drank some wooden alcohol, Xlfillie died and lla was pensive Alcohol was so expensive. Mr. Andrews- Brown, where is your note for absence. R. Brown fwriting hurriedlyj- l'll have it up there in a minute. Abie- Fadder, you told me you would give me a dollar effery time l got a A on my report. I got two last week. C Fadder- lYell, here's two dollars Abie. Now quit studying so much: it's bad for you. How to Make Yourself Popular With Teachers I. lYhen anyone else is reproved laugh loud and long. 2. lf your fellow pupil is translating poorly. assist him in a loud whisper and then say you were talking to yourself. 3. Crack the old-timer about Christmas Cheer when the word spirit appears in a poem. .,L. Shuffle loudly when the teacher asks all those who were talking to stand, and then gaze around expectantly for the thundering applause. ' Reply, all injured innocence, the moment after a ten minute con- versation that you were not talking just then. Ask in a tense voice what something means which has just been D 6. translated at length. 7. Brightly volunteer an answer just given. 8. Translate Mon Dieu literally from French and then look apolo- getic as if it were a slip. Lives of great men all remind us, As their pages o'er we turn, 'llhat we are apt to leave behind us Letters that we ought to burn. Once Chris Columbus said The world ls roundu. But to his sorrow XVe End the world is mighty Hat XYhen coin we try to borrow. is wk :sc as VVhen potatoes are growing They have to be bugged, .- XVhen girls are growing l ' They have to be-----f 1

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THE COLLEGIATE I23 battle recoinniences. The guns roar, the Greeks shout their war cry Yes Wfe Have No Bananas while the Persians fetch leaving half their army to glare inipotently at the Detour sign, the rest run around behind the stage and fall on the brave defenders from the rear. Curtain Falls. ACT I-Scene IY Saine Curtain As Aforesaid. In this scene King Tut is shown galloping up Front St. on his trained donkey closely pursued by Hannibal in a Star Coupe. After many narrow escapes and entirely disregarding all stop signs, King Tut is cornered be- tween the Casino and the Louvre Fountain just as he was about to board the next boat for Petrolia. Hannibal swiftly draws a bow and arrow froni his hip pocket and attempts to stab King Tut in the breast. King Tut dodges and hurls a copy of XYebster's Dictionary at his opponent. Hannibal slips on a banana peel and expires, inurniuring reproachfully tut, tut, tut, et tu, Tut. Curtain falls and kills orchestra leader. For those who are unfamiliar with Konioka we suggest that they take a PM. car at Sarnia and transfer at Yonge and College Sts., Toronto, and walk back: by'that time they will be too tired to do inore than kill Mr. -los.McKe0wn, author, playwright and actor of the part of King Tut. . Admission FOB. F Children .,... ,....,..........,......,.,,....,. ...,.,. K 3 5 cents Adults .......,.,.... ..,... I 5 cents Twins ...........,.,....c..........,.....,..,,..,,.....,........,,,,.,,,,,.... 31.00 Seats are included in Admission. 0 X