Sarnia Collegiate Institute and Technical School - Collegiate Yearbook (Sarnia, Ontario Canada)

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rf., THE COLLEGIATE 121 He .has views quite profound lVhich he will propound At every time of the day. Ralph Misnerls a big burly chap, ln school he's a kind of a sap, llut as he's on the team We won't criticize heem E'en though therels not much 'neath his cap. s if uv za lliillie in a ht of gall Drank some wooden alcohol, Xlfillie died and lla was pensive Alcohol was so expensive. Mr. Andrews- Brown, where is your note for absence. R. Brown fwriting hurriedlyj- l'll have it up there in a minute. Abie- Fadder, you told me you would give me a dollar effery time l got a A on my report. I got two last week. C Fadder- lYell, here's two dollars Abie. Now quit studying so much: it's bad for you. How to Make Yourself Popular With Teachers I. lYhen anyone else is reproved laugh loud and long. 2. lf your fellow pupil is translating poorly. assist him in a loud whisper and then say you were talking to yourself. 3. Crack the old-timer about Christmas Cheer when the word spirit appears in a poem. .,L. Shuffle loudly when the teacher asks all those who were talking to stand, and then gaze around expectantly for the thundering applause. ' Reply, all injured innocence, the moment after a ten minute con- versation that you were not talking just then. Ask in a tense voice what something means which has just been D 6. translated at length. 7. Brightly volunteer an answer just given. 8. Translate Mon Dieu literally from French and then look apolo- getic as if it were a slip. Lives of great men all remind us, As their pages o'er we turn, 'llhat we are apt to leave behind us Letters that we ought to burn. Once Chris Columbus said The world ls roundu. But to his sorrow XVe End the world is mighty Hat XYhen coin we try to borrow. is wk :sc as VVhen potatoes are growing They have to be bugged, .- XVhen girls are growing l ' They have to be-----f 1

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120 THE COLLEGIATE The Students' Lament Tune-1The Prisoner's Songj. Oh! I wish I had some one to wake ime In the morn, so that I'll be on time: And not have to wake by the town clock, And hear the dumb thing striking nine! Some morning I'll be in the office . For having two lates in a day: And then Mr. Asbury will scold me, And after four I'll have to stay. But this thing could be easilytbettered lf I climbed into bed every night, just about two hours earlier Then everything would be all right. wk X as ac I don't see how a man can put a nasty old pipe in his mouth. excl um ed the sweet young thing-and then she stooped over and kissed bull dog. She- XYhat's that bump on the front of the car. He- Oh, the radiator just had a boil. He- My what a beautiful arm you have. She- 1 got that playing basket-ball. l-l e- Dol you ever play football?', hei pct Father tsternlyj- Young man I saw you put your arm around my daughter last night. Carter- I suppose you noticed how she struggled too. A shapely girl was Mary Jane, She got all wet out in the rain Her dress so thin, Clung to her skin- There is no loss without some gain! . Miss Ferguson- Rose, what case does a preposition govern? Harold- An abverbf' - 3A Every Day A studious lad is our Garnett XYhen he's got something hard and can't I-le says something bad tdarn itj For he gets very mad, Do you know what he says-just consarn it. Doug. Ritchie, a Scottishman bold Is a shark at math'matics we're told i But speaking of history It sure is a mystery, He hasn't been often knocked cold. So's Lorenzo Decou in 3A And a serious chap-I must say, U

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122 THE COLLEGEATE NOTICE On Thursday, Feb. 31, 1928 in KOIVTOKAHALL, KOMOKA The Zeigfeldt Minstrels present TUTANKHAMEN AT THERMOPYLAE fOr-The Charge of the Light Brigadej The play is realistically given by actors of more or LESS talent, correctly attired in 'luxedos and Armour, mounted on camels. The cos- tumes are strikingly original in that one half of the audience are in bathing suits and the others are in their seats. The Battle Scenes are tremendousg horses and aeroplanes are liying in all directions at once: while heavy siege guns discharge over-ripe tomatoes and eggs at the balcony. The background of the stage shows the interior of the Casino at Monte Carlo while in the foreground the fountain of La Louvre splashes magnificent- ly over the orchestra: in the wings one can see Cheops building his pyramid with toy blocks and the orchestra leader putting resin on his violin. Curtain falls then rises to the tune of Horses, Horses, Crazy over Horses played as an overture by the orchestra. ACT I-Scene 1 ln the first scene King Tut drives up to the Louvre Fountain in his Rolls- Royce. He leaps out and, striking a match on a statue, lights his pipe: he then enquires for the rest of the army. A traffic officer informs him that they have gone to defend Thermopylae from the Persians, Germans, Arabs, or what do you offer? .,.. King Tut is annoyed and says unprintable things in bad French. Curtain Falls. SAME ACT-Scene ll Same Curtain Rises. In the second scene the Casino and the Louvre Fountain have disap- peared and we find a row of mountains in their place. The Greek army is calmly eating its lunch in the shade of the pass. Cn the other side of the stage we notice a Persian tGerman or Arabl spying upon them with a pair of held glasses. The drummer in the orchestra has broken a leg. King Tut gallops furiously up on a motor-cycle dressed in plus fours and gives the order to hold the pass at all costs. The Persians tGermans or Arabsj attack furiously but are driven back by a large number of police dogs disguised as Pekinese hounds. Curtain Falls. Still the Same Act-Scene HT Same Curtain still rises The Persians fflermans or A-rabsj are again attacking and half the Greeks are apparently dead. The battle stops for several moments yvhile the enemy retire behind the pass to drink XVhistle. In the meantime the traitor tyou can tell him by his traditional beard, moustache and sinister ex- pressionj sneaks forward and places a Detour sign at the Persian Qfierman or Arabj entrance of the pass. At a signal from the orchestra leader the