Sarnia Collegiate Institute and Technical School - Collegiate Yearbook (Sarnia, Ontario Canada)

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II8 THECOLLEGIATE The Modern Son H7 Mother- Ilommy, run to the store and get 1ne some sugar. u Tommy- Excuse me mother, I am somewhat indisposed this morn- ing. Send father, and tell him to bring me a plug of tobacco. ' a::e:xv:c So It Would , A citizen who was marketing had his attention drawn by a boy of some twelve years, who seemed anxious to get hold of one of the many water-melons piled up in the market. It seemed like a good chance to sow a seed in the lad's mind, so the citizen beckoned the boy and asked, My boy would you like to steal one of those water-melons? Yes sir, was the reply. ' You would eh. I am sorry to hear that. If you should steal one of those melons, my boy, do you know what the result might be? The boy scratched his head and surveyed the pile again. Yes sir, I 'spect the plaguey thing would be green all the way through. is 24 Pls ik 7! !7 Cap- Say Bill whatls good for a girl's fallen archesf, Bill- Rubber heels. Cap- XVhat do you rub them with? if Plf P3 PK Miss N.- Have you ever done any public speaking? Rose- XVell, I proposed to a girl over the telephone in my home town once. :: :s Dan- So that's your new tie. XYhy on earth did you select such a loud colour? Ted- I didn't selectlit. My brother did and he is rather deaf. 224 221 ik PSC XVilmer- Do you know who that sweet little girl is that I've been dancing with all the evening? D fb Glad.- Oh, yes. thatls mother! Pk vii Pk X Dolly- You,re great Cooky! The way you buck the line, dodge. and pick your holes is wonderful. You must have been born to it. Ray- Not exactly, but when I went to public school mother used to take me shopping with her on 'dollar days'. as :r as Ralph- How did you like the rugby game? Augora- It was terrible, they didn't even play. XVhy just at the start 'lied got the ball and started to run with it and everyone else got rough and started to jump on their opponentsf, 2? Pk PK Pk Ruth- Until I bought a -:ar I never knew that profanity was so general. Eleanor- XYhy, do you hear much of it while d1'1V111g on the road?,' Ruth- I sure do. Everyone I bump into swears terriblyf, a: if wx Harold- 'l'here was something funny about you last night. ' 3 Helen- Oh yes, but I sent him home as soon as I could' Miss 1-larris- XVhat was Brock noted for? Mercurio- His wonderful memoryfl . . V . yy Miss Harris- W hat makes you think he had a great memory? Mike .... Didn't they erect a monument to it? I l l

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THE COLLEGIATE II7 Bill- How's your poultry farm coming along Payne? D Payne- Not very good I've been swindled. I bought three different incubators and not one of them has laid an egg yet. Pk Dis Dk Pk. Dan-- Did you hear about Morrow in Detroit last week looking for the Free Press building to get his suit cleaned up? Bill- That's nothing. VVhy just last week Ritchie was in the new Detroit Library looking for the Book Cadillac. IK Pls Pk Pk Eleanor- May I speak to the captain? First Mate- He's forward miss. - Eleanor- Oh' I'm not afraid. I've been out with the Sarnia Collegiate boys. ' Traveller's message to an Innkeeper- Extricate my quadruped from the vehicle. Estabulate him. Donate to him an adequate supply of nutri- tious elements, and when the aurora sun shall illuminate the Oriental horizon, I shall reward thee with a pecuniary recompense suitable to thy amiable hospitality. A Innkeeper- Yes, yer honor. ' wx: :if HF IfVhen asked how he got out of prison a witty rogue replied, I got out of my cell by ingenuity, ran up the stairs with agility, crawled out the back window in secrecy, slid down the lightning-rod with rapidity, Walked out of town with dignity, and am now basking in the sunshine of liberty. :Ia :V .- Pk In Grandmother's day all the young people looked before they leaped. Now they leap and let the world do the looking. A.- I was cited for bravery and got a medal. B.- I was sighted with the rum Heet and got five years. Roy B.- Did you ever take one of those German mud-bath treat- !! ments? Bill E.- No, but I played in the Old Boys' rugby game -last fall. :if is Pk Pk Spears Qtelling the boys about his recent huntj- IYhy fellows my 0'un let our a roar, and in the clearing ahead of us there layitwo dead rabbits. I VVise- I-low long had they been dead? :if Vic :ac Barber- Hair-cut, sir? Teskey- Yes, but don't make it too short: I don't want to look too effeminatef' Stover fafter the Qld Boys' gamej- IYhat happened Gord. XK'ere you in an accident? . Mattingley- Noi I was being shaved by a lady barber when a mouse ran across the room. :r is :rf bk Teacher- Tommy do you know your letters ? Tommy- Yes sir g- let 'er go, and let 'er rip. . Teacher- Bright boy. Go to the tap and wet your head. A brain of such fertility can not be kept too moist. '

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THE COLQLEGIATE II9 Scotty- Ross, what is limburger cheese composed of? Nicol- It's not composed, it's decomposed. :sc X :ef vs A bum had parked himself in front of a Iew's jewelry shop and the -lew came out and expostulated thus: If you vanta buy a vatch, buy a vatch: and if you don't vanta huy a vatch get oud of der road and let the vatches see the peoples. The Difference New Butler- In my old place I took things pretty easy. Boss- XVell it is not that way here, we keep everything locked upf, bk :sf ve vs Pardon me but are you sure it was a marriage license you gave me on the Ioth of March. A The clerk looked up and said Yes XYell I've led a dog's life ever since. sk va: :sc vs Try These on Your Victrola Ain't she Sweet? -Myrle. i'Nobody,s Sweeheart -Dayton Stover. I wonder how I look when I'm asleep. -Red Nicol. XYistful and Blue -B. B. Team. Baby Face -Mary Marshall. My Baby Knows How -Mr. Andrews. The Birth of the Blues!!-S.C.I. Orchestra. Broken-I-leartedn-Miss Taylor after V form French exams. Two of Us -Leisje and Hubert. Put Your Arms Wfhere They Belong -Don McGibbon. You XYon't be Missed 100 yrs. from Now -Principal's Office. Here I Am -Mr. Fielding. XVhen I First Met Maryi'-G. Patterson. Sunday -Bill Twaites. Nize Baby -Mr. Gray. Everything's Made for Loven-Shirley Logan. 'Tm In Love Again -Ralph Misner. I XYant You In My Arms Again. -Mr. Elmerley. NVhat Does It Matter -Easter Exams. Alone At Last --Norine and Mike. Thinking Of You -Bruce Dalziel. Crazy Words, Crazy Tune -Lawrence Cragg. I Don't Believe It But Say It Again -.loan Mitchell. My Sweetie's Due at Two to Two Todayn-D. Simmons. Blue Skies -After Dept. Exams. I-ligh, High, High Up in the Hills -Mr..Russ, 7' 6 . I Never See Maggie Alone -Bob Flynn. Lonely Eyes -Vida Simpson. Red Riding Hoodu-Marion Sullivan. She's the Last VVord -Miss Robertson. :sf as :lc x Miss B. Flatt will now sing that famous Spanish onion song entitled XVhy Should I Cry Gver You. :sf is is vs I pH Miss N.- Do vou wish to hear Poe's raven. , - , is A whisper- No your ravings are enough.