Sarnia Collegiate Institute and Technical School - Collegiate Yearbook (Sarnia, Ontario Canada)

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IIZ THE COLLEGIATE The hero was explaining his heroic actions in ridding the country of a marauding beast Yes, he said, just about midnightvl heard the noise of a prowling beast outside the door of our hut. I crept out and shot it down in my pajamasf, But Bob how in the world did it get in your pajamas? drawled a sleepy listener from the rear of the group. :nf :if :ef af Scotty Kon Sunday morningj-'5Give me change for a dime, please. Druggist- Here you are sir, I hope you enjoy the sermon. as X X as Radio Fan- XVe get Havana every night. Ditto- That's nothing, we get Bacon on the Rhine every morning. 'lc Q 4: 'I' .4 ., ., .,. The long and short of the S.C.I. and T.S. are Mr. Russ and Tom Needham. - N -i i '- 4: bk 'Q Mr. Treitz- Burley, were you making a face at Muriel? Burley- No, Sir. y Mr. Treitz- Oh, beg your pardon, I thought you were. A Short Poem Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, I need a new collar. A pert protozon named Phyllis Remarked to a microbe named Wiillis Don't call me a germ, Invisible worm- My dad was a deadly bacillus. af wk px :if If you donit feel just right, If you can't sleep at night, If you moan and sigh, your throat is dry, you can't smoke or drink, If If If your grub tastes like ink, If your heart doesn't beat, If you've got cold feet, If your head's in a swirl- . XVhy don't you marry the girl? ' :af af af wk NVilton- NN'hen I was younger the doctors said that if I didn't quit smoking, I would become feeble-minded. Dorothy- VVell, why didn't you stop? Stover- You a Scotchman and you don't play golf? Rose- No, not now, I used to but I was forced to give it up. Dayton- What happened? Harold- I lost my ball. :sf :if is :sf Mrs. M.- What are all these N.B's. on your report for? ,Ioan- Oh that means Not Bad.

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THE coLLEc.1ATE in Prophets ? Teacher- NVhat race do you associate with the word prophet? Irish girl- Jews l Teacher Qhalf-surprised at the correct answerl- Yes, why? I. G.- NVell they always make a lot of money. :sf if 2: :af The Only Way Speaking on the values of a college training the lecturer tells of a student who started poor twenty years ago and has retired with a com- fortable fortune of SI50,000. This money was acquired through industry economy, conscientious efforts to give full value, indominitable perseverance. and the death of an uncle who left him SI4Q,QQQ.5O. The head of a coal firm irritated beyond endurance at a driver's blun- ders, told the man to go to the office and get his pay and not come back. You are so confounded thick headed you can't learn anything, he shouted. Begorra, answered the driver, I learned wan thing since I've been 9, with ye! NYhat's that? snapped the other. That seventeen hundred make a ton.', :uf as :aa af MacKay- XYhy does my girl close her eyes while she is being kissed? Dalziel- Look in the mirror. X sv ss X Ist tramp- I graduated from college in four years. 2nd tramp- Gwan, you ain't that smart. Ist Tramp-- Yes, I am, I was taking a two year coursefy :sf ss X X Brown- lun never going to see her again. Stubbs- XN'hy, did her old man drive you away? Brown- No, but the ambulance man did. Dainty Young Thing- Simmons has a trick car. Boy Friend-- HoWzat? Dainty Young Thing- It plays dead in the most convenient places. :sc :xc :ac as Gardiner Crushing into Library!- I want The Life of Caesar. Librarian- Sorry, but Brutus beat you to it. Pk as ff :ic Bailey- Doc. can you cure me of snoring? I snore so loud I awaken myself. D Doctor- In that case you should sleep in another roonif, as Pk X :if Mr Dent Qin Chemistry classj- Don't you think you are straining a point in your explanation, Finch? U . Finch- Maybe I am, but one often has to strain things to make them clear. :ae :xc :sf X Miss Burriss- Give me a sentence with the word 'analyse'! Mary- My sister Annie says she never makes love, but oh how Analyze.

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THE COLLEGIATE lI3 A Subscription List There are papers and magazines for all of us Everybodvs, sailors should take to The Atlantic Monthly, soldiers The Veteran, communists The Red Book, aristocrats The Blue Book, tired people to Outing, pugilists Punch . flappers The Mirror , artists The Daily Sketchf, politic- ians John Bull, college boys The Collegian, newlyweds Good House- keeping, and workers in ebony Blackwoods. But, prisoners usuallv want Liberty, historians The Forum, watch and clock-makers The- Dial, librarians The Bookmanf' bookworms The Literary Digest, and astrol- ogers' The Stars. However, most business men appreciate Saturday Night, and everyone is usually pleased with The IVorld. I Mr. McKay- Did you say you had the boys out for a drive last night? Tom- Yes Father. Mr. M.-HXVell I wish they woulcln't leave their powder pufifs in the back seat. afvlsafvk Inspector- Can anyone tell me what LXXX is? Garret-IB- Please sir that means love and kisses. Doc Fraser-'4Mr. Dore what were you in the Great XYar, a private or Lieutenant? M11 Dore- Neither, I was an Admiral. all is X Pk H Pat-f'Mike did you hear the story about the Scotchman who went insane? Mike- Nog how was that: P.t- Ol he bouO'ht a score card at a ball frame and neither town scored. 'gn 'I T b tj Nicol to stranger- W'here are you from? Stranger- Chicago.', Flaming Youth- Show me your bullet wounds. D vp X x: 24 Inspector- I understand, boy, your school now boasts of a circusf' Isbister- No, sir, we don't boast of it. is :af bk ac Frayne- XVhat movement for a watch do you like best? Mattingley- The I-lula-Hula, I believe. Pk sk wk wk Principal to janitress- Look here, I can write my name in the dust on this desk. New janitress- Gawsh, 'aint eddication grand. 24 wx: X as How did Petrolia get its hard name? More men reported for the football team than were registered in the school. PF vs :uf sk Day- Hello Miss Brown. Helen- I beg your pardon, you've made a mistake. !Y , VVilton-- Aren't you the little girl I kissed at the party last night? Helen- It must have been my sister, she's sick.