Sarnia Collegiate Institute and Technical School - Collegiate Yearbook (Sarnia, Ontario Canada)

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THE COLLEGIATE 99 Mr. Dennis- Now this plant belongs to the begonia family. G. Clarke- Oh I see, you're just keeping it for them while they're away. Natural gas is the result of the meeting of a hole in one golfer or in a man with a perfect radio. vs :cf ak wr Customer among talkative clerks- Say I came here to buy summer underwear, but now I want to get some woolens before winter sets in. is if az: if Professor- I am offering a prize for the laziest man in College and I think you'll win it. Gleed VVorkman- All right, roll me over and put it in my back pocketf, She-- I think she is as pretty as she can be. I-Ie- Most girls are, nowadays. Have you ever heard of a person changing his nationality? No? A Scotchman went into a saloon in Dublin, and came out A-RUSHIN' fa Russianj. , Once there was three men in the woods-a Scotchman, an Englishman and an Irishman. Because there was only food enough for one it was decided to give it to the one who had the best dream. Sandy slept, and declared he had gone to heaven. Iock insisted that he had gone to heaven too, but Saint Peter had let him in. Then Pat confided that he had seen the others go to heaven and forth- with had eaten the grub A doctor wanted an assistant and advertised for one. An Englishman, Irishman and Scotchman came. The Englishman was first. The test was to feed a skeleton porridge. So the Englishman goes to the skeleton and puts the spoon to its mouth and it says, lt's hot, it's hot. The Englishman ran away. The next was the Scotchman, and when he tried the test. it said, f'It's hot, it's hot, and being Scotch he took the porridge with him. Next came the Irishman. and when he started to feed him the skeleton says, It's hot, it's hot, and Pat says, Blow it, you fool, blow it,', and Pat was hired. x :ic ak :lc To Commercial Forms Mrs. Bradley-Now, Girls, Hurry Up! Miss Brown-I-Iow Many Pages Have You Read? Yes, Wfhat? Miss Burriss-That's Bonnie, IB! Mr. Coles--Just Imagine You're in an Ofhce Now. Miss Cruickshanks-VVhere is Your Home XVork? Mr. Dobbins-just Feel My Muscle from Sawing. Mr. Eberlee-Remember Your Addition and Subtraction Rules. Miss Ewart-Follow Your Leader, Girls. Miss Fenwick--Get in Step. Mr. Fielding-VVhere is Your Law Book? ' .Mr. Hartley-This Class Has No Brains! Mr. Keeber-? ' ' Miss Nelson-VVhere's Your VVork? Mr. Treitz-I Have Told You the Object IO Times Already. Every Day, in Every Way . . . ?

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98 THE COLLEGIATE Qt- 'gf ,,., 1 M M u Y sf l ' 3-,Lg Once two Irishmen came to Heaven together. Pat wished to climb onto Mike' shoulders and was allowed to do so. They knocked at the gates and St. Peter answered. Are you mounted, asked St. Peter. Yes, replied Pat. XYell, was the reply, Tie your horse outside and come right in. as ff aa ai She- Do you know the difference between a tramp, a train and a river? He- No Shef l'he train rides a steel and the tramp steals a ride. He- XYhat about the river? She- That's where suckers get caught. April Fool. :ne :ic :ic TESTIMONIAL. T0 XYIIOM IT MAY CONCERN: NYE have known MR. FIELDING for the past four years. He is exceedingly alert, has a captivating grasp of his subjects, ............,,...........................................,.. XYe can recommend him highly as a TILFXFFIC COP for your most con- gested thoroughfares. :if ak wk :sf HEARD IN THE WRITING CLASS. CNOT to be read aloudj Mr. Graham-Miss Mac Cl, you have too much space between U and UL . And, Miss XY-l there is too much space between U and I , X 'lf FK IF A Scotchman was drowning, so another man got into a boat to rescue him. Give me your hand, the man said. The Scotchman replied. I never gave anything in my life, and I wont Start now. XYell, then take my hand, said the other. The Scotchman was saved. if ak af sv The height of chivalry is the action of the young man about school who took a girl out for a ride in his car and then walked home with her.

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100 THE COLLEGIATE STAFF NOTATIONS They are Jolly Good Fellows Mr. Asbury- I'ni the Captain of the Pinaforef' Mr. Asker- Drafting, drafting, down the stream. Mr. Andrews-l'Show ine the way to go hoinef' frkfter quarantinel. Mrs. Bradley- Love's old sweet song. Miss Brown- Carry me back to old Virginnyf' Miss Burriss- Thanks for the buggy ride. Miss Cruiekshanks- Kitten on the kevsf' Mr Mr. Mr Mr. Mr Mr Mr. Coles- Keep the holne fires buriiing' Dennis- Everybody loves niy baby. Dent- Here comes the duke a-ridingf' Dobbins- Little boy blue, come blow your horn. Dore- Vin sitting on top of the world. Durnford- The anvil Chorus. Eberlee- My poor heart is broken--oh. how she lied! Miss Ewart- Ring around Rosy. Miss Fenwick- O Margie. Mr. Fielding- just around the Corner. Miss Ferguson- Shall I have it bobbed or shingled? Mr. Mr Mr Mr. Graham- Oh, how l niiss you to-night. 1Detentionl. Grant- Auld Lang Synef' Gray- Hay, hay, Farmer Gray, took another load away. Greenleaf- The sunshine of your smile. Miss Harris- Oni, oui, Marie. Mr. Hartley- Five-foot two, eyes of blue. Mr. li6Cl3Cl -H,l11'8l1'l1J, Tranip, Tramp, the boys are marching. Mrs. Mcllerniid- Put on your new Spring Bonnet. Miss Nelson- Each stitch is a thought of you, dear. Miss Nichol- l'n1 always Cl121Sl1ly rainbows. Miss Pugh- Somewhere a voice is calling. Mr. Russ- invle Hells. . D Miss Searrow- Home Sweet Home. Miss Taylor- Mademoiselle from lXI'IllQlltl?1'CS parley-voo?,' Mr. Treitz- I was only teasing you. Mrs. Urquhart- Oh, what a pal is Mary. Torn McKay Helen Vollnier Ruth Kirkpatrick Tiny Calluin - Marion Sullivan Four A. Gordon P. Mattingly - Basketball and Rugby -Tim XN'alsh Tom. Baird - Frances Clark E. D'Arcy Vive la Compagnie! --By a Lady Member of the Staff. Seen at the Theatres - - - - The Fresh Man. Sunday Xlforship. Mrs. Bluebeard. - -' So Big. A Modern Venus. - The 1001 Nights It Pays to Advertise. Teams - - The Forty Thieves. - - - - - - - Freckled but Saved. - XVhen My Sugar Walks Down the Street. - - - - - - VVho. - Pretty Little Blue-eyed Sally.