Sarnia Collegiate Institute and Technical School - Collegiate Yearbook (Sarnia, Ontario Canada)

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THE COLLEGIATE I07 the head. Men were very deformed in 1923. The eyes were crossed, as we observe by looking at the pictures of a man called Ben Turpin, and the feet were turned out like those of Charles Chaplin. Funny names were usedg one man's name is nearly blotted out, but we suppose it to be Rhubarb Vaseline. One picture has proved Darwin's ancient theory of man's descend- ing from the ape. The actions of Douglas Fairbanks show us this very clearly. The clothing worn at that time appears humorous to us. In a sur- prisingly short time feminine dress changed from long sleeves and extremely short skirts, to no sleeves and long skirts. No doubt the women were very athletic and took pleasure in showing their legs and arms, although they are not what we to-day would call muscular. A tomb consisting of three stories has recently been revealed by ex- cavators near the ancient city of Sarnia. Many rooms were set apart for the use of departed spirits, but why a tomb should contain a huge amphi- theatre, two gymnasiums and a swimming pool, with many heating facilities, can not be understood by scientists. Thirty-one skeletons have been found, and modern physiognomists say that all these once had very stern. menacing features. Blair- XYhat makes the music so catchy? Dorothy- lt must be the traps. er rr 21: is Hr x Couse- lhat snappy fellow you just danced with is in my class. Olie- You flatter yourself. Harold Johnston Ctranslating Latin J- Let the wicked and ungrateful depart. Mr. Grant las bell ringsj- All right class-pass out. 1: :ff X Miss Ferguson- Arnistrong, when does civic holiday come? Jini- lYhen Miss Harris is away. if wif :if x. Member of Collegiate - It's awfully warm in herefl Grace-'KBetter see the circulation manager. Maid- The garbage man is here, sir. .-Xbsent-minded Professor- Dear, dear, tell him I shan't want any to-day. Kennedy Cin Taylor's Shopl- Say Wlif. do you want a belt in the waist? Hand- Do you want a sock in the jaw? U Let me kiss those tears away, sweetheart, he begged tenderly. She fell into his arms and he was very busy for a few minutes. But the tears flowed on- Can nothing stop them? he asked breathlessly. N h d lt l f '-ltof l l o , s e ausn ere . s my evel Ju go on nlti tie treatment. 53 J! Miss Brown- ls that door ajar, Lampel? Isaac- A little vase. :lf fr ff X Lebel- How did you enjoy your ocean voyage? Grace- Dunno, I made the trip by rail. X vs :ie 4: Lampel- Say Mint, what is it that is so easy to get into and so hard to get out of? White- Bed.

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IO6 THE COLLEGIATE. itssdl 6 - h H, it - ' . . X Z-, A HISTORY OF 1923. I Written in the year 9999. Man in 1923 is supposed to have developed a rather high state of civili- zation. It is strongly believed that our primitive fathers had schools in which they educated their young. A recent excavation revealed a large stone build- ing, in which pieces of slate were foundg scientists believe the teachers used these to write upon. A rude and rusted chariot has been found near the ancient city of Detroit. A great warrior called Ford once owned these, and several such chariots have also been found throughout a country then called Canada. It is now believed that his whole army rode in such a fashion to battle against the great Packard clan. Fruit of the now extinct golf tree has been found buried in a creek. XYeapons called putties and mashies show us the primitive state of the men. lYomen at that time, were also very wild. They learned to use the rolling pin with great effectiveness, and used this as their sole weapon. The women put red paint and flour on their cheeks, probably to frighten the enemy in time of battle. These people spoke English but we would not understand their lang- uage. Phrases such as, give her the gas, kid! , and ain't she the frog's tooth ! show us that grammar was as yet unheard of. Seemingly these peo- ple were very fond of music, but they sang only one tune. Over a thousand copies of a melody called, Yes, XYe Have No bananas, have been found in the apartment homes of our ancestors. The meaning of such a song can only be guessed at. Much literature has also been found concerning some great man, probably a warrior. This man was named Andy Gump. They also learned to tame the wild horse, as a certain horse called Spark Plug was given much praise. The skeletons of huge birds have been found near Point lidward. These species were called the aeroplane, and why they have not survived, is attributed to the destructive tendencies of man at that time. A discovery has been made giving us light upon the appearances of these people. The miles of celluloid with the picture of the same person upon it has been studied by the scientists. They have found that by rapidly cranking these pictures through Z1 machine they can be reproduced on a screen. XYe find in observing these pictures that some of the women wore their hair down their backs in long curls, like a woman called Mary Pickford. Others had it cut like a man's, and brushed into a tangled mass on the top of

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IOS THE COLLEGIATE. M. Weaver- XYliy can't you spell Cupid? Dave Mac.- When I get to C. U. Qsee youj I forget everything else. wk ai- rr ak Miss Jones tafter lecture on Yes Sir and No Miss j- Brown have you your French exercise finished for to-dav? Brown-f No l Miss jones-- No what? Brown. Art- No book. ai: we ar wk Miss Clark- XYhy do you say that twice ten' is the same as twice eleven? Lebel- Because twice ten is twenty and twice eleven is twenty-two ftoojf' :if ak :if :sf Dorothy- XYhat do you suppose Harold meant by sending me those flowers? Blair- He probably meant to imply that you were a dead one. sf is wk at E. Nichol- Some men you know, are born great, some achieve greatness. Helen Mac.- Exactly! and some just grate upon you. at as an :ef Freshie- NYh0 was Hamlet. Dad? Father- Such ignorance! bring me a Bible and I'll show you who he was. wk as :ic if Mr. Dennis- XX'hat makes the leaves turn red in the fall? Allaire- 'l'hey are blushing to think how green they have been all summer. :if as :if at Miss Harris fgto Healj- XVhat makes the Tower of Pisa lean? Ralph- If I knew I'd take some myself. at :of if 14: Bellhop fafter Kennedy has rung for ten minutesj- Did you ring, Sir? Ted- No, I was tolling, I thought you were dead. ff :ig ak :ic Art Brown Qto clerk in Music Storej Can I hear your 'Smiles'? Clerk- Nair, but listen while I laugh. Pk :ic 1: :of Teacher- The whale got his prophet out of the water. Clarry- So does our milkmanf' Pk :ac :ic :sf Little Brother- Bet he'd kiss you if I weren't here. Big Sister- You naughty boy, leave this room at once. Blondy- A man follows me home. How can I stop him from doing it? Y. Couse- Let him catch up with you. we an :sf :sf G. Lang fwithout her specsj- Is that the head cheese over there? Clerk- No, the boss is out. wk :of af :oc Brown Magic-Katherine Garrets' eyes. XYhite Magic-Baking powder. at :sf fe bk Murton Taylor Cto Gardinerj- There's something preying on my mind- Shrimp- Never mind! It will soon starve. as :sf ik ak Teskey- What is this you have brought me? IVaitress- Chicken soup. Teskey- lYell, there is no Chicken in it. Waitress- No sir. They don't have dogs in dog biscuits either.