Santa Teresa High School - Compendium Yearbook (San Jose, CA)

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Their family had fallen on bad times ever since their father, Turnov, was killed by his serfs — for making waves. Now the three brothers, after having to abandon a life of philosophy, redundancy, theology, and general putzing around, were reduced to hauling stale baked goods to the rich. Through the wonders of modern science, and the blunders of Russian novels we can listen in on what the three brothers are saying as they approach the Manderlybrocuz-cuz estate. ‘‘I am so glad this haul is soon to come to an end!” proclaimed Onanov. “I too, I too,” repeated Takitallov. “I cannot see how you two could possibly be concerned with such trivial things when there is so much important philosophizing and general putzing around to bedone.” Buzzov said as he swerved to avoid a rock and instead hit a small rabbit. “It was not that we are ignorant of our philosophy, dear Buzzov, Onanov responded, “it’s just that we don’t understand you.” “As I have told you before, my dear brothers,” Buzzov said. I con- sider myself a Veggieist. I believe that the true meaning of life can only je found in wilted lettuce. Buzzov, I can really get behind what you are saying, and I respect our space. I expect you’ll mellow jut but I enjoy interfacing with where you are coming from.” Dnanov said as he imagined himself sitting in a hot tub sipping Perrier. “Totally, Totally,’’ added Takitallov. “Look! Proclaimed Onanov, “we approach our destination!! The three brothers sped up the dirt road to Manderlybrocuz-cuz, bits f rabbit flesh flying off the chrome mumper as their speed increased. The brothers stopped and hopped ut of the truck. “You have brought the Biscuits?” jsked Karem-Abdul Sergenitov. “Yes, replied Buzzov. Before we get down to the business, let me introduce you to my hree maids, Karem-Abdul said as he three women approached. Hello, Hello!! Matilana Moseltov »aid to Takitallov. I “Greetings, Greetings!!” replied Takitallov. They immediately fell in love and walked off together. Pia Ezadorinsky was next. Pia went up to Onanov and said, “Hello, my name is Pia Ezadorinsky and in the true tradition of all Russian women, I am in love with a man who does not love me, betrothed to a man I do not love, and I am having an affair with the master of this estate — Karem-Abdul Sergenitov. When Karem-Abdul heard this, he had a heart attack and died. Onanov dared to reach out for Pia’s hand. She kneed him but he still held tight saying, “Ggh, marry me! They stood holding hands as Jane Stanislophskyhumbe- minkelchickovantidisistablishme- ntarialism stepped up to Buzzov. My name is Jane Stanisloph .. . Gm, please don’t.” Buxxov said, stepping over the body of Karem-Abdul. “Right, well, I am the rebellious one, I don’t know why, but that's what it says in my character summary.” “I am a Veggiest! and the main character,” Buzzov proclaimed. “Please marry me. I probably don’t really love you, but then again, I voted for Nixon. “What will we do about our dead master?” Pia said. We shall bury him before he smells up the place too much,” Buz- zov answered. “And what about our room and board?” Jane asked. “We shall all! live at the Manderlybrocuz-cuz estate,” Buz- zov said again. “What about the serf’s board?” Onanov asked in a high soprano. Pia kneed him again and his ques- tion remained unanswered. “What is the airspeed velocity of an Australian sparrow?” Jane said, looking deeply into Buzzov’s eyes. “A northbound sparrow, or a southbound sparrow? Jane hit Buzzov with a wilted piece of lettuce and laughed until he got her with a left hook. All the characters were blissful- ly happy until the estate of Manderlybrocuz-cuz burned down and they all died. Legerdemain 253

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Friday Night Party Audrey J. Sadler A Reader’s Digest Summary of a Russian Voices Laughter Friends of all kinds Wanting Demanding Intelligent minds Lies The game You have to win Security Comfort From family and friends Helpless Loving With confused emotions High hopes And backward notions. But Will You Still Respect Me? Luvsick Fool Can one tell the difference between Love-and-Respect? Both Give the feeling of uncontrollable Admiration One respects Peoples ideas When One is in love Is There any difference Between Two such feelings? Respect Is of the mind Love Is of the heart But Without the Respect that the mind has, Love becomes Insignificant. Being There Kelly Reese BEING THERE When I feel that no one cares She’s always there When I think that life’s unfair She’s always there When I’ve got some news to share She’s always there I think we make quite a pair My sister and friend extrordinaire! 252 Legerdemain Novel Angelo Ovich Marillana Moseltov, go check t see if they are here yet! Karen Abdul Sergenivetov said from h porch chair. The eldest of the thre maids went out to look for visitors t KaremAbdul Sergenivetov. Karem-Abdul Sergenivetov live with three women whom h employed as maids on his estate Manderlybrocuz-cuz. He was a lonel man who had lost his wife an young son. His wife had died in Tf Great Russian dust bowl of 1971 and his son later passed away in th following Rose Bowl. Other than h three maids and his 44.2 serf KaremAbdul Sergenivtov live alone. Every three months Karem Abd Sergenivtov sent away for sta biscuits — his only pleasure in lif As we enter into the story, he is an iously awaiting their arrival. As for his three maids — we she say only that their names ar Matilana Moseltov, Pia Ezadorinskj and Jane Stanislosphklyhumbe niklechickovantidisistablishm ntariasism, the rebellious one, wf can’t wait to get married and get r of her last name. We will not go in the female characters here becaus as the readers know, in Russie novels the women are mere car board stereotypes with n personality. Now that we have given tl reader the background of tl characters, we can get on with tl real story. Karem-Abdul Sergeniveto' KaremAbdul Sergenivetov! The are here! They are here! Mitilar Moseltov said, repeating herself, « she ran up the lane. They are?” Karem Abdul asked Yes, Yes!” Matilana sai repeating herself as always. In the distance Matilana spotted large truck which carried the sta biscuits Karem-Abdul Sergenivet was so fond of for some real wei reason. The three drivers of tl truck were the brothers: Onano Buzzov, and Takitallov, who we descended from the house of Ger

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254 Legerdemain