Santa Teresa High School - Compendium Yearbook (San Jose, CA)

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Editor: Audrey J. Sadler v Advisor: William Sheehy % d 2 With Special Thanks To... Joy Buzzer Sonny Daze Sir Loin Beverly HillscaUfomla Mala Practiss Paul TerGelste Raoul Ingstone Walter Wallcarpeting Greg Orianchant Angela D’Agostino 241

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Editor's Page, Eh? 24q

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She’s Only a Girl Jeff Hamilton SHE IS ONLY A GIRL! So you finally met the girl of your dreams! Blonde? Blue eyes? Short, cute and cuddly? In love are you? Well let me ask you. Does she know your name? Do you have her telephone number? I didn't think so! Sit down. Take off your coat and shoes. Relax. I ’m going to tell you how you can have this honey eating out of the palm of your hand. You see, there are certain dos and don’ts about dating. I could name a hun- dred of them and you still may not hear any new ones. But, I have three very important tips that are guaranteed to help you in your quest for the perfect date. There are some particular areas where everyone but The most frequent daters are a little shaky. These areas are asking the girl to go out with you, dining at the restaurant, and the good night kiss. Let's start off with the hardest part, asking the girl to go out. Once you have chosen that magic girl, remember this: SHE IS ONLY A GIRL! Don't make her feel any more or less than that. When you finally get up enough nerve to ask her out, look right into her eyes. If you don’t, she might think you were asking someone else out like the girl next to her and then you are in real trouble. Before you ask her, you will be shak- ing like a pair of wind up teeth. So don’t hold her hand or she will feel how drenched your palms are with sweat. When you are asking her, come right out and say it. Don’t use innuendos or play guessing games. If you feel your cheeks begin to quiver and pulsate, and your face feels like it got caught in an elevator, start again and speak clearly and asser- tively right to her. There is nearly nothing worse than asking a girl out and she says What? in reply! Okay, you got her to go out with you. Now what? , you may ask. First, you take your date to dinner. Please try to avoid Burger King! When you are ordering, be sure to order for her first. An example is this: “The lady will have the linguine with white clam sauce and a coke with no ice.” Then you order for yourself. And I will have the lobster thermidor and a tall glass of seven- up. If you are not of age, do not even think about ordering alcohol. If they ask for your identification, you will feel like a complete jerk. Also, when you are about to speak, make certain that you don’t have any food particles stuck in your teeth. It is very appalling. After you finish the meal, offer your date some dessert. They never accept dessert! And don’t forget to leave a generous tip. Perhaps, now, you will go dancing, bowling, or to a movie. When your evening winds down and it’s time to take her home, there is one more thing to remember. This last thing is the good night kiss. Many guys don't even dream of kissing on the first date. However, if you follow my plan, kissing will be no major occurrence. The first thing you do when you pull up in front of her house is turn off the car and take a deep breath. If your heart kee pounding like it is, your date m call a paramedic, thinking that y were having a coronary. Get out the car and walk around to the otf side. Open the car door for h Walk with her to her front door a give her a tiny peck on the che Do not get carried away by maki it a long and passionate one. Th« is nothing more embarrassing th having your date's father cor outside, thinking there is a robt out there, and interrupting y marathon kiss. Not forgetting to s the usual things like I had a v nice time tonight , etc ... you i her you will talk to her tomorrow some how makes girls fall asle faster. Pretty amazing, isn’t it though: you will just remember these thi areas, it can be that easy! So, go out and get her tiger! Oh, a remember: SHE IS ONLY A GIRL! 242 Legerdemain