Santa Rosa High School - Echo Yearbook (Santa Rosa, CA)

Page 32 text:

THE ECHO ———aa— ee Knowing nothing about the derivation of the word, the two wander- ers boarded a street car. Once on the car, they were ereeted by a loud, jovial guffaw, emanating from somewhere behind the vest of ‘‘Bud’’ Feliz, the conductor, who passed them the joyous palm and led them to a seat with- out first collecting the fare. Elmont, feel ing the responsibility of his position, related to them the latest gossip of the smoky city (not Pittsburgh). Pointing to a portly old lady, accompanied by a pale, wan-appearing shade, ‘‘Bud’’ explained that this was the most fascinating pair in Hades. The lady had formerly been Miss Portia Hopper, and the old eentleman, Charles Reinking. Leavine their seats they went to talk to the motorman, George Leppo, and engaged him in a superheated wranele concerning the price of bulldogs in Rome, (Georgia). While encumbered with this argument, the motorman rushed by five corners without a halt. During this time, six enraged pas- seneers who had been carried past their corners, had collected around the eroup and were clamoring to be let off. Wishing to extricate the motorman from the serape into which he had been lured, the two argument-augmentors pacified the mob by feeding them jellybeans. In the scramble for the jelly- beans, the mediators pro tem recognized the famous Wild West troupe, con- sisting of Ruby Feliz, Ellen Holm, Edith Letold, Helen Wells, Kenneth La Point. and Theodore Brians. When the ear stopped, this acrobatic troupe eavorted down the steps, played leap-frog over the fire hydrant, crawled through an empty nail keg, and disappeared into the obscurity. Dropping off at the next corner, the two somnolent sight-seers asked a policewoman, Elaine Babbino, for the exact whereabouts of the hotel where they had registered. Arriving at the hotel, they obtained their key from the night elerk, Adon Poli, who had taken Grayman’s place for the night shift. The solemnity of the remainder of the night was greatly intruded upon by the loud but enthusiastie snores of the slumbering: snoozers. They were rudely awakened early next morning (10 a. m.) by two un- familiar gendarmes, Raymond Clar and Wilbert Conners, who spiteful) informed them that they were due at the Covell Cireuit Court, and if they were late, they would be fined ten simoleons for contempt of court. Four seconds later they tore down to the corner ice cream service station, where they blew themselve to a row of Eskimo pies. While the clerk, Lois Karnes, was adding up the bill on a cake of ice, the two witnesses fled for the court. Arriving at the gladsome portals of the City Hall, they were accosted by an officious-looking suffragette, Esther Brians, who asked for their ereden tials before admitting them to the private witness room. Once in the room, a clerk, Lillian Cullen, told them that their’s was the fourth ease, after which a court inspector, ‘‘Phat’’ Forsyth, took their names, hats, and spare change. They then bulged into the court to wateh the first three acts. The women seemed to have taken the upper hand in all the arguments as all the court efficials, Jury, lawyers, the judge and the janitors were of the female of the species. The judge, Gladys Covell, crashed the gavel upon the

Page 31 text:

THE ECHO Piazzi then took matters into his own hands and dragged Barnett away to a cheap hotel. While registering, they gave the clerk the onee over and observed the round features to be those of ‘‘Shylock’’ Grayman, who had successfully peddled out rooms to the most prominent plumbers assigned to the cataclysmal regions. Grayman slipped them the best room in the house for the same price as the other one. It being ust 6:30 by Grayman’s Bib Ben, the two star boarders drizzled into the dining room, where they ordered a full meal, ineludine a double order of prunes. The waitresses who deigned to perform the functions necessary to the progress of such a peaceful meal, swune trays like old timers were discovered to be the inseperables, Dorothy Seawell and Elizabeth Thompson. After disposing of all the fodder in the house. tipping the two expectant waitresses each a nickel, the two gormandizers adjourned to Loew’s Hippodrome. Helmuth and Gladys Loew, the proprietors, had- be- come quite as affluent in the infernal regions as their namesake had in California. After sleeping through three acts of old stuff. they were suddenly awakened by loud applause from the seventh baleony. Borrowing the opera glasses from the fat lady in front, Barnett perceived with consternation that the toe dancer now ecapering on the stage was none other than Thyra Morrill, the bobbed hair shade whose dancing had won her ereat renown. Joining the seventh baleony contingent, they succeeded in applauding her off the stage. Mlle. Morrill, exceedingly vexed. sent three usherettes in hot pursuit of the trouble makers. The usherettes, Madeline Alexanderson, Franees Brown and Agnes Wilder, ambled down the aisle to the seats occupied by the lone- some lads where they were given back their press passes and sent upon their weary way. Led by Piazzi, the dreary duo sought out a hash-house and ordered two lemonades in order to drown their sorrows. Barnett came up for air and called ‘‘Gareong,’ in his quaint French, for the waiter, and ordered a bowl of deviled ham. The waiter, giving him a disdainful look, sneered: ‘“My name is Holechester. What did ja gimme the hoot for?”’ Three quarters of an hour later, Ralph Holchester brought in two tur- nips and a dish of green peas. A kick was naturally raised at this outrage, and the proprietor, Harold Stump, a large, florid, personage, entered, bring- ing with him the entire staff of the house, the cook, janitor, manager. and efficiency expert. These important positions were all held by Georee Bath. the old heart-breaker from Bellevue, a ously propelled the food-moochers to the sidewalk. Here they met a shum- ming party, led by Helen Mallory, which was headed for the library. The party, which was composed of Alice Wolf. Ruth Connors. Goldie Foland and Louis Raicevich, had an inordinate desire to find the derivation of the word smootech,’’ which had lately been added to the nasally twangine lanenage of Hades, by that genial poet, Bill Brewer. The two husky bouncers, aldean Anderson and Ray Krotser, vi

Page 33 text:

THE ECHO ——S——S a —ll—E—E—™—E—E—E—E—E bar and bawled for order. Immediately the court was in an uproar. The court clerk, Wilma Comstock, had a elever idea and began to sing. The spectators began to weep and were thus quieted. The court announcer, Mabelelare Reinike. announeed the first case— that of Hades vs. The Wood Charcoal Company. ‘‘Babe’’? Wood and his two accomplices, Hazel Tisserand and Hedwig Lueas, sat in a box surrounded by a squad of shysters and press agents. The leader of the press agents, Malcolm Weeks, sueceeded in getting nine columns out of the first case, thereby boosting his batting average. The prosecuting attorney of Hades, Alvera Spooner, argued, debated, wrangled, and finally swore that the Wood Charcoal Company had been smuggling several quart bottles of very excellent charcoal into the under- world. ‘““Dook”’ Peterson took the stand and apologized for the absence of. his partner, Charle Borden, stating that Charlie had a earbunele on his left knee and had to remain at home under the bed, greatly incapacitated, Peterson stated that with the aid of a farmerette. Margaret Wright, he had found a piece of charcoal scarcely two blocks from the Wood mansion. This evidence being enough to conviet ‘‘Babe’’ and his accomplices, they were fined, taxed, pried loose from, or otherwise nicked for eighteen piastres, thirty yen, and four rubles each. Cases two and three were uninteresting, so the two witnesses enjoyed the slumber they had lost that morning. They were unpolitely aroused by the feather on the hat of the lady in tront of them. Apologizing for getting in the way of the feather, they ree- ognized her as Jeanette Conners, who was sob-sister on the staff of the ‘Hades Howling Hyena.’’ The verdict in the third case was just being peddled out by the Judee. The Judge spieled: ‘‘Therefore, I sentenee you, Alma Henningson, to attend uplift lectures five times, for shoplifting in the second hand store of the plaintiff, Cecelia Bacigalupi. Next!’ The seargeant-at-arms, Kenneth Whited. dragged the culprit off in tears. “Hades vs. Mabel Wiggins, Dont Deliver(y) Co., et al.’? The two wit- nesses loped for the witness box, ensconced themselves in seats and beean to peruse the latest issue of the Ladies’ Home Journal. The prosecuting at- torney, Alvera Spooncer, arraigned Mabel Wigeins unmereifully, inquiring as to the state of her health and her financial condition, leavine her white and shaking like the proverbial leaf. As a further proof of the guilt of the defendant, the witnesses were hauled in. After hearing the faets of the case, the jury, which was composed of Lois Covell, Berenice Morrow. Martha Erwin, Confucius, Zelma Spidle, Ali Baba, Wallace Henderson. Jesse James, and four other dark, unknown shadows, filed into the ante-room to decide the ease. While deliberating, Ali Baba lost seven pescs and a pair of silk suspenders, playing pinochl e with Wallace Henderson. Finally the jury made its appearance. The foreman, Zelma Spidle, gave the jury’s decision: ‘‘Guilty as chareed.’’