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Page 20 text:
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THE PORCUPINE 18 came to himself at last to find he was on a bridge, one of ‘ the many large ones that span the Hudson. i He stopped walking, and leaned against the railing to 4 review his thoughts. Was this success? If so, he wanted b none of it. Where was the mad worshipping he had heard | of; the wild applause and crowded houses? Could he try | another concert? No, he had failed at one and could not try another. His funds were exhausted, and he was un- known. He tried in vain to place the blame rightly, for ise knew that he, himself, was not responsible. Could he go back home penniless.and face his old mother and father? Could he return to his sister without her doll and with a story of failure? What would his boy friends say? Oh, the irony of Fate! The cruelty of circumstance! He looked down at the water below him. How inviting, how cool it looked. Suddenly and almost involuntarily he ‘ was over the railing head first. It is a question what his last thoughts were. Were they the work of the “Suicide Symphony” or just an impulse, a sudden desire which he | unthinkingly acted upon? His body met the river with a splash and the water quickly closed over him. The ever-widening circle of rip- ples was soon lost in the current of the river. A gull soared slowly over the waters and on to the sea. Again all was still. ot a
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Page 19 text:
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THE PORCUPINE 17 would be a financial failure. He then resolved to make it a musical success. Jan did not play the first movement so well as he might, for he had not fully recovered himself, but in the second he played as he had seldom played before. He did not care about the financial side, but was thinking all the while that if he could make his recital a success from a musical view-point he would then make a name for himself, and that would help in his future concerts. The Sonata was ended, and Jan was making his way to the stage room. He was listening eagerly for the expected applause, which he knew he deserved, but it was very feeble applause that he heard. There is inspiration in num- bers and in a small crowd there is a total lack of it. So it was here. Each person was afraid to start the applause himself, whereas if it had been a large audience they would have risen as one person and have gone wild with approval and appreciation. Almost all of those present realized that Jan was a genius, but their hesitating applause was a puzzle to his ears. It was the same way with the other numbers garian dance by Liszt, and a set of waltzes by Chopin. Each selection was played perfectly, but received little applauce. The last number was Tschaikowsky’s Sixth Symphony—- better known as the “Suicide Symphony.” The composer took his own life immediately after writing down the score, and a few modern musicians have committed suicide just after playing it. It is a wild, weird, morbid selection, filled a Hun- with tragedy, pathos and melancholy. Jan was just in the right mood to interpret this number perfectly. It is safe to say that never before had it been played so well as now. It seemed to voice his feelings better than words could do. With the usual amount of clapping, the audience quietly filed out and hurried home. Jan went back into the stage room and, seizing his hat and coat, walked out into the night. He did not know in which direction he was going, or where he intended to go, but walked blindly on. His first concert was over and he had much to think about. He
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