Santa Paula High School - El Solano Yearbook (Santa Paula, CA)

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THEY SAY I'M MAD We were a parfy of eighl bound for fhe soufheasfern shores of Tasmania, iusf six weeks ouf of fhe Bay of Biscay on board an old fub, 'rhe Corona . She was forfy- five feel from prow io sfern, wi+h a beam of fourfeen fee? and drawing abouf 'ren feef of wafer. Oiy, oiy. sirl and dofs as goof a ship as ye kin gef fer The price ye puf up! said Goldie , fhe firsf mafe. He was a mounfain of a Swede, six feef four and solid as a rock from fhe sole up. He weighed fwo hundred and fiffy pounds, had blue eyes sef in a symmelrical hafchel face which was 'ropped wifh a big blond mop of rough and unkempl' hair from which he derived his name. I was inclined +o agree wifh Goldie in his remarks aboul' fhe condifion of fhe Corona and gave myself a pai on fhe back for being lucky enough 'lo pick her up af an aucfion in La Rochelle for fhe nominal sum of S4,500. The ofher members of our parly were John, Sandy, and Dirk, who comprised lhe crew, and Monsieur Rouen Wolfe of Ihe French police, rerired as an advenfurer, Dr. Frank von Frederick, a nofed European scienfisf and surgical docfor, and myself, Waldo Galway, also an advenfurer and sfudenl' of animal life. The purpose of 'rhis expedifion was fo confirm rumors of a kangaroo Tribe in Tasmania, seeming 'ro have a very high degree of infelligence and organizafion. The compufafions af noon showed our posilion fo be fiffy degrees Ialifude and forfy-five degrees easl Iongilude, on fhaf fafeful day, Sepfember 29, I93I. Affer having considerable Trouble wifh a leak in +he boiler, which had developed 'rwo days before, fafe seemed +o be rafher ironical in augmenfing our dislress wifh high run- ning seas. She's nof holdin' her own againsf The s+orm sir! shoufed GoIdie . WeII, for God's sake build up more pressure fhen, I yelled back af him. Thereupon Goldie made his way haz- ardously down fhe ladder from fhe bridge +o fhe engine room, being knocked info ihe scuffle once by a big wave 'rhaf caughr us broadside and sef fhe decks awash. Inside of an hour we began fo hold our own, buf fo do so was perhaps more 'rhe acr of a fool fhan +o lef fhose heavy seas bang us around. for a pressure had fo be mainlained fhaf was indeed a risk 'ro lhe sfrenglh of our now weak and leaky old boiler. lFor 'rhis I cursed myself for no? having 'rhe foresighf 'ro have an experf examine fhe Corona before I boughf her. I+ was now plainly evidenf fhal she had been fixed up iusf good enough fo bring a fairly deceni price on Iooks.l I was on fhe bridge 'ralking wiih Dr. von Frederick when Goldie bursf info 'rhe cabin panfing, and wi+h a look on his face fha? fold me all was nof well. Cap'n Galway sir! Yes, Goldie . Cap'n sir, Dick has Iosl' his nerve and sfarfed a mufiny aindlu A+ 'rhaf momenf 'rhe Corona shud- dered from sfem 'ro sfern and all foo soon fhere came a hollow boom as of disfanf fhunder. I don r know whaf happened befween 'rhe 'rime of fhaf awful explosion and The nex+ fhing I remember, buf i+ was morning before I became aware of fhe facf fhai I was s+iII alive. There ye are now cap'n, fake 'er easy, +hank God fhe sform has gone down. Wha'r happened Goldie, where's lhe boar, whaf happened +o 'rhe resf of 'rhe par+y? I'm sfill wifh you, Waldo, buf I'm afraid we'lI never see fhe o'rhers. Srvrnfy-ffm'

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JOKES Gump: How would you like lo have a pel monkey? Rulh W.: Oh, lhis is so sudden. ,Oi Barbara S.: lv1olher, are sheep lhe dumbesl animals in lhe world? Molher: Yes, my lamb. -Ol Roy: Whal is lhe maller? Bill Bolke: l'll never dance wilh lhal girl again. l don'l obiecl lo rings on my lingers, bul l'll be hanged if I wanl belles on my loes. io, May l marry your daughler? Whal is your vocalion? l'm an aclor. Then gel oul belore lhe lool lighls. ...OT Helen S.: ll says here lhe average person says I0,000 words a day. Eduard: l always knew you were above average. TO... Ocean lravel has ils disadvanlages, agrees Helen Jean, bul al leasl you know where your nexl meal is coming lrom. -...Ol Boolh: Pena, gel in lhere and run lhal leam. And, say, don'l lorgel lo walch lhe bench lor signals. , itoi Many girls are like llowersf When lhey lade, lhey dye. 10, For Sale: One sel ol lalse leelh. Splen- did lor slencil work on pie crusl. ici Molher: Don'l you know il's wrong lo use bad language? Son: Shakespeare uses il. Molher: Then you shouldn'l play wilh Shakespeare. Sffventy-four Jimmie Miller: l asked Anila if l could see her home. Forresl Fulmer: Whal did she say? Jimmie: She said she'd send me a piclure ol il. lo,- Miss Smilh: How dare you swear be- lore mel Bob Ridle: l didn'l know you wanled lo swear lirsl. io.. MODERN DRAMA Firsl Acl: Villain, dog, girl, river. Villain lhrows girl in river. Dog lumps in and drinks up river. Saves girl's lile. Second Acl: Villain lries lo escape. Dog coughs up river. Villain drowns. ici Sign in delicalessen: Ice cream. Take home a brick. You may have company. ,Ol Wile: We musl hurry home. because we're going lo have call brains lor dinner. Husband: Your brolher. or lhal bach- elor nexl door? ...c... l'lI bel you were mad when you caughl lhal skunk. You bel. l was highly incensed. 1.01. Take me righl lo lhe hospilal. l'm going lo have an operalion lo remove some surplus lal. You don'l mean lo lell me you are going lo be beheaded? To.- Yells ol winning poker player: Heap! Heap! Hurray! iO.T Did lhe cyclone damage your house much? l don'l know. l haven'l lound il yel.

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THEY SAY I'M MAD ll was von Frederick who made lhis lasl slalemenl which broughl a dawn ol lhe lrulh upon me. I now sal up and looked aboul me lo lind lhal my leel were lashed lo lhe rall, wilh Goldie and von Frederick clinging lo lhe sidos. Goldie's explanalion was lhal during lho slorm Dirk had slabbed Sandy and Iell his posl al lhe sleam valves, which resulled in lhe boilers blowing up. No doubl John and Dick were bolh inslanlly killed and perhaps Rouen Wolle mel lhe same lale. Goldie , von Frederick, and mysell were lar enough away lo escape inslanl dealh. Thal allernoon we began lo wonder if we should slowly slarve lo dealh, be ealen by sharks, or drown in anolher ol lhose sudden slorms so lypical ol lhis region. Towards dusk I imagined I saw a dark cloud ol smoke. Could lhis be land, or was il merely a hallucinalion ol laligue? I con- cluded lhe Ialler was more probable when neilher Goldie nor von Frederick could discern whal I had lhoughl lo be salvalion. And so wilh heavy hearls we passed a sleepless nighl. Al lhe lirsl slreaks ol dawn we beheld a sighl which broughl our spirils lo a con- siderable heighl: whal we lirsl lhoughl lo be a mirage lurned oul lo be a small island, beyond a doubl one ol lhe Crozell group . The haze which we saw lirsl was volcanic smoke and ash emerging lrom a cone on ils ncrlhern side. To add lo lhe delighl ol being in some sorl ol currenl which was drilling loward lhe barren island lhe day conlinued lo be as calm as lhe one belore. So when lhe sun rose over lhe peak ol lhe cone il seemed lo warm lhe whole ocean and lake lhe chill away lrom our numbed and aching mus- cles. Excepl lor one, lhal day was a ban- ner occasion. Se-'venly-.fix Aboul noon when we were wilhin 250 rods ol lhe island, which we shall call Cro- zell, Goldie gave a cry lhal was almosl al lhe same lime mullled inlo a gurgle by lhe waler. We lurned in lime lo see Goldie disappearing benealh lhe waves. SharkI von Frederick hissed and al llnc same lime crawled onlo our small rall on his belly, bidding me lo do likewise. Vfe had given Goldie up when von Frederick punched me, saying, Look, we musl gel lo Goldie. Upon looking in lhal direclion I beheld an expression on Goldie's lace lhal is im- possible lo describe. one ol mingled lri- umph and ol severe pain. We paddled as lasl as possible some 25 yards belore we reached him and lound lhe walers lhere reddened. We helped Goldie onlo our lrail lile-saver, and in doing so broughl lo view lhe ghaslly sighl ol Goldie's lell lej. mangled, and lorn lo ribbons. All lhis happened wilhin a maller ol minules, lhough il seemed incredible lhal Goldie could have held his brealh so long. I gol him, he murmured weakly. Looking lor lhe reason lor lhis slalemenl I saw direclly behind us a huge man-ealing Blue Shark lying bollom us wilh a sailor's dirk slill slicking in a long gash lrom lhe dorsal lo lhe venlral. ll was apparenl now lhal Goldie always had carried a dagger wilh him and lhal he had loughl a ballle lor lile under lhe waler and won. The doclor made a lourniquel oul ol his shirl while l secured lhe big lish lo lhe rall. We louched land once again al 2:30 o'clock lhal allernoon. Whal a greal leeling lo have al lasl somelhing solid under our leell ' Crossel was quile barren and aboul lwo miles long. How- ever, lhere was enough lor a sheller, which was soon conslrucled. We buill a lire by lhe Indian bow melhod and had Blue Shark sleaks lor supper. The nexl day lhe doclor unwound lhe bandages on GoIdie's leg lo lind lhal inleclion had sel in. I-'Ie called me lo one side.