Saltus Grammar School - Yearbook (Hamilton, Bermuda)

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11 The Chamber of Horrors A library is normally an unexciting room, reminding one of one ' s ignorance and misspent years. At Saltus, it ia anything but that. Ad- ministered by a member of the staff known as The Bookworm , duo to his violent attacks upon that pestilential little caterpillar, and two henchmen, one distinguished by all the essential attributes of a Town Crier, this room is certainly the most dramatic centre of the school. It was early realized that it proved a convenient refuge for those who disliked fresh air, or wished to do each other ' s homework, and steps were taken. Eventually, there actually entered some who wished to read a book. Their sense of direction was elementary, witness the boy who, having been told where A was, and to follow the clock, returned some five minutes later with Please, Sir, I can ' t find J! That being so, it was most necessary to make the school familiar with a room containing books. The Upper School had a Quiz, the answers to which could only be obtained by searching the shelves; thus, to the surprise of many, it was found that the London Times had been present for weeks, that the illustrations to A. A. Milne ' s books were quite delightful, and that Bermuda actually had its own authors. Then there came the Extra Fatigue Squad, designed for the Habit- ual Evildoer. The Bookworm foolishly volunteered to accept a batch of these menaces, and week by week they arrived to do their worst. One week they would De-bug the books, but were found to be incap- able of recognising a bookworm when they had dislodged one; the next, they would be put on to gumming damaged books, the highspot being the earnest and regular attendant who succeeded in gluing together two volumes from different shelves, and the copy of the Times put on the table to protect its surface. The normal limit for retaining books is a week, in the interests of others; but we still have our dreamers, who discover that they Have kept two volumes for five weeks, and are faced by the equivalent of The National Debt. Our chief worry is the amount of empty space on the shelves, and how much better the room would look if all the Un- wanteds at home could be given to the school for the general good! THE BOOKWORM .

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10 Poor ' Thunderbolt was quite bewildered, threw our noble Knight from the saddle, and ran for safety, so Sir Bedivere was left to kill the dragon after a long and grim battle. The beast slain, Sir Bedivere struggled into the open, to find Thunderbolt munching a patch of grass. The Knight then mounted, and rode away victorious. E. OUTERBRIDGE. By Air to Boston The most interesting journey I have ever taken was when I travelled by plane to Boston. I took off from Bermuda at three o ' clock in the afternoon, and arrived at New York at five in the evening. The trip from New York to Boston was the best part. I had never flown in an airplane before, and when I took off from New York I thought that it would be much the same as from Bermuda. Indeed, I felt the same, but leaving a brightly-lit airport made it seem very different. When the plane had climbed to about three thousand feet, and had levelled off, I asked the stewardess if I could go up into the pilot ' s cabin. After receiving permission, I entered, and was introduced to the pilot and co-pilot. While the co-pilot was flying the plane, Mike, the pilot, showed me where Boston lay in the maze of lights below. I shall never forget those lights; as the plane drew nearer to the city, I saw a multitude of colours below; neon lights flashing on and off, cars ' headlights moving down streets, streetlights blinking their signals to motorists, and the large white lights of the airport. When I landed, I was ushered into a large waiting-room adjoining the luggage-room. I claimed my property, and sat on the arm of a stuffed chair waiting for my uncle to come and fetch me. As I waited, I began to doubt if he would recognize me, because I was sure I could not pick him out from the crowd around me. Gosh, I said, I don ' t know what he looks like! for all I know, he might be the big fellow coming towards me now! The ' big fellow came over to me, slapped me on the back, and said, You must be Glen! I ' m your uncle Bob. My journey was over. PIERCE.

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12 Questionnaire for (Im)Possible Entrants This is an age of Gallop Polls, I.Q. Tests, and statistical informa- tion of all sorts. Much of this is a burden, but it might be nice now and then to be able to discover what is behind — or in — the mind of Mother ' s Joy and Father ' s Hope about to enter the modern school. A practical list of questions is appended. 1. What do you intend to be? Have you made up your mind? Have you a mind? 2. Do you intend to graduate? Have you any idea what the word means ? 3. After you leave school, will you be maintained by your brains or your relations? 4. Is your ultimate intention to do something for yourself or the community ? (Use a dictionary to find out the meaning of community) 5. If Little Abner is your favourite reading, go home and ask your parents to send you on a farm. 6. Who are (a) The Pope; (b) President Eisenhower; (c) Sir Win- ston Churchill? If you score nought, you are not the stuff that Alumni are made of. 7. Do you usually wash after rising in the morning? 8. What is a comb? 9. Have you started referring to girls as dames ? If so, follow the instructions for Question 5, only choose a city as your back- ground. 10. Are you used to being beaten at home? If not, don ' t you think this would lend variety to your life? 11. Which of your parents does your homework? (This is most im- portant, in order that the source of the incorrect information should be punished). 12. What proportion of the food you carry about with you do you (a) eat; (b) throw on the ground; (c) put in the trashcan? If the answers to (b) and (c) are more than a quarter, follow the instructions for either Questions 5 or 9.