Saltus Grammar School - Yearbook (Hamilton, Bermuda)

Page 10 text:

8 Following the gruelling cross-examination of witnesses and sum- ing-up by the Counsel the Judges withdrew for deliberation. Colonel Swashbuckler finally pronounced the verdict of Not guilty of re- leasing the goat with evil intent, but guilty of gross negligence in allowing the animal to escape. He then sentenced the prisoner to confinement to barracks for one week on goat rations. Among the debates held during the season were these: — September 30th. — ' ' Nowadays people think too much about their stomachs. Proposer — H. G. F. Pierce Opposer S. A, Williams Third „ G. Lee Fourth P. S. Scupham The motion was carried by ten votes. October 14th. and January 20th. Hat Debates. Impromptu speeches. Among the subjects picked from the hat were these: — China should be admitted a member of the United Nations. Prices are too high in Bermuda. Do schoolboys eat enough? Pessimes. How to be friends with Russia. Film censorship. What would Bermuda do without the tourist trade? Rats. November 4th. — Fireworks should be abolished. Proposer H. G. F. Pierce Opposer S. A. Williams Third W. R. Kempe Fourth H. E. Outerbridge The motion was defeated by one vote. November 25th. — This House does not believe in Santa Glaus. Proposer W. R. Kempe Opposer ... H. E. Outerbridge Third H. G. F. Pierce Foui th S. A. Williams The motion was defeated by sixteen votes. February 10th. — Schoolboys should not have to wear uniforms. Proposer H. G. F. Pierce Opposer W. R. Kempe Third S. A. Williams Foui th G. Lee The motion was carried by five votes. March 24th. — Visitors Debate. This House is prepared to believe that flying saucers are visitors from another planet. Proposer S. A. Williams Opposer J. R. Talbot Third Mr. M. C. Misick Fourth Mr. P. L. Helm This was a particularly informative and stimulating debate.

Page 9 text:

7 This case was concerned with the charge that at 1530 hours on Monday, 21st. February, 1955, the accused, Private Lamb, 01637.33, while on parade in charge of the regimental mascot, Billy the goat, did of evil intent allow the aforesaid Billy to escape; whereupon the goat careened down the lines and took the Inspecting General in the rear, inflicting substantial damage to limb and uniform, all this to the prejudice of the good order and discipline of the troops. The accused (D. M. McCann), who was escorted by Cpl. Smogg (A. H. Cooper) and Pte. Staggers (B. R. Hall) under the supervision of R. S. M. Bellower (R. W. Kempe), pleaded Not Guilty . Clerk of the Court was Sgt. Quill (H. E. Outerbridge). The presiding Judges were: Colonel Swashbuckler (J. R. Talbot), Major Wiffles (G. G. Henderson) and Captain Boffin (S. H. Grayston). Prosecuting was Captain Convictum (Mr. J. A. Stubbs), while for the Defence was Captain Tiller (Mr. P. L. Helm). Three witnesses appeared for the Prosecution: Pte. I. C. Clearly (P. S. Scupham) was on parade and saw it all happen; he alleged that the accused deliberately slipped the collar of the goat and gave the animal a kick to set it in motion. Cpl. Eves L. Dropper (S. A. Will- iams) testified that on the previous evening he had heard the accused grousing in the Be er Canteen. Pte. Charles L. Insomnia (R. Bickley) gave evidence that he occupied a bed next to the accused, whom he had heard muttering in his sleep the night previous about loosing the goat . The Defence also produced three witnesses: Cpl. Dagger (H. G. F. Pierce), a storekeeper in the Q-M. Stores, deposed that a few days previous the accused had applied for a new collar for the goat as the one in use showed signs of wear and tear; the collar had been requisi- tioned forthwith, but had not been received in time for the parade. Pte. Brief (A. G. Shorto) testified that he was standing immediately behind the goat on parade, and he saw it sneezing violently; in trjdng to comfort the goat the accused took it by the collar, which came away in his hand. The accused then seemed to shoot out his foot to stop the goat, but this only agitated the animal, which made off in top gear . Captain Cascara-Jones, Regimental M.O. (F. I. B. Williams) stated that on the morning of February 20th. the accused had reported sick, complaining of sleeplessness. The sleeping-draught prescribed could possibly have been responsible for ji certain amount of wild talk in his sleep.

Page 11 text:

9 Claiming that he had always been a person rather hard to convince, Mr. Misick nevertheless succeeded in convincing the House of the existence of the little men from beyond who came in flying saucers , and the motion was carried by eight votes. At the conclusion of the debate tea was served in the Assembly Hall. The society is grateful to Mr. Helm for his lively contributions in deb ate, and to both him and to Mr. J. A. Stubbs for their helpful co- operation in the Mock Court-Martial. OFFICERS FOR THE YEAR 1954-55 President Mr. J. H. Kerry Secretary Christmas Term - F. R. Snape Easter Term J. R. Talbot COMMITTEE W. R. Kempe, H. E. Outerbridge, H. G. F. Pierce, S. A. Williams, and the Secretary. Sir Bedivere Slays the Dragon Sir Bedivere, that noble knight of the Black Circle, was galloping his courageous steed Thunderbolt across a meadow on a fine summer day. Summer in England was a gay time for Sir Bedivere, as he loved the flowers and the sweet-scented grass. He suddenly brought Thunderbolt to a jolting stop, which nearly threw him out of his high-backed jousting saddle, and peered through his open visor at a peculiar burnt streak on the grass. Most mystified, he rode on until he came to a villager, sitting, sighing on the roadside, with his beautiful dappled mare, singed from head to foot, beside him. The villager told Sir Bedivere that a monstrous green dragon spitt- ing fire had done this. Sir Bedivere then understood how the grass became burnt. The Knight then waxed furious at the mischievous dragon for doing such damage, and he rode on, following a burnt path which lead over a stone wall, collapsed from the heat, a river still sizzling with steam, and a field of barley with a scorched track through it. Finally, he came to a cave, which was evidently the dragon ' s home. He entered, and blackness closed around him. Then he saw a flash of flame, heard a hideous screech, and the green monster charged at him.