Saltus Grammar School - Yearbook (Hamilton, Bermuda)

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8 In more serious vein was the debate held on November 8th — This House enjoys reading a good ' thriller, ' and believes that it serves a useful purpose. Proposer D. E. W. Lines Opposer D. B. Wingate Third C. W. Kempe Fourth M. G. Marsh The motion was narrowly defeated by one vote. The Easter Term programme opened with a Hat Debate on January 24th. Among the subjects drawn were these — You have to appear on a television show for three minutes: do your stuff. Would you like to hear that oil has been discovered in large quantities in Bermuda? Which you would prefer, a big appetite and no meal, or a big meal and no appetite? Can the United Nations keep the peace? Would you take the opportunity of being a passenger on the first rocket to the moon? Supposing you are to be shot at dawn, state your last request. On a show of hands the award for the best impromptu speech went to B.E. Wheelwright. On February 14th the Society met to debate the motion — This House deplores the decline of chivalry in this modern age. Proposer D. B. Wingate Opposer J. M. Berridge Third G. H. Grayston Fourth B. E. Wheelwright The motion was defeated by three votes. The third meeting of the Easter Term, on March 6th, was devoted to the Visitors ' Debate, when the Society was pleased to welcome Mr. L. J. Profit and Mr. Stuart Outerbridge. The president recalled that Mr. Profit had been one of the four principal speakers in the first debate held by the present society in 1935, while Mr. Outerbridge might be described as a founda- tion member, for he had been a member of the original consti- tuent committee. Some ingenius arguments were heard for and against the motion — Money is the root of all evil, which was defeated by five votes. Proposer G. H. Grayston Opposer ....B. E. Wheelwright Third Mr. L. J. Profit Fourth Mr. S. Outerbridge

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7 height she sprang a leak and began to sink. Cargo was jetti- soned, but she continued to lose height, until finally the passengers were confronted with the disagreeable intelligence that three of them must follow the cargo if the fourth was to be saved. Who should it be? Which of them was to be considered of most service to the community? Each of them in turn spoke to establish his claim to salvation. With a slight impediment in his mouth and test tube in hand Dr. Uranium claimed to be something of a rara avis; he ' d split the atom once, and there was no telling what he ' d split next if he were allowed to live. The appeal on behalf of his sixteen children appeared somewhat irrelevant, but some were visibly affected by it. Mr. Opt. Pessime ruffled his gown and tossed the tassle of his mortar-board with a show of confidence. It was he who had given Dr. Uranium his early training and had inculcated him with the desire to split things like atoms. It was the schoolmaster who trained the young; if they dropped him over- board they would be literally dropping the pilot. Mr. I. Skinyu adjusted his wig as he branded the atomic scientist as a public menace, accused the schoolmaster of stif- ling young genius, and view the liquor merchant as a purveyor of slow poison; whereas the lawyer stood ready to help all and sundry . . . for a moderate fee. If they chucked him out, who would make their will? Mr. Wetyer Wissle carried a bag of bottles to reinforce his remarks. He claimed to belong to a very respectable and highly skilled trade which gave generously to charity and brought warmth to many a heart. Mr. Maundrill said he wasn ' t much impressed by any of the occupants, and thoug ht it would be of no great loss to the com- munity if they all fell out; but if they had to retain one, then he felt it should be the schoolmaster, for at least he was harmless. D. B. Wingate thought that a man with sixteen children could be trusted not to take any risks with the universe. His genius was rare, and like all rare things should be preserved. D. E. W. Lines saw in the liquor merchant the only one who brought pleasure to people. The other three were symbols of danger, work, and trouble respectively. After several other members had aired their views the matter was put to the vote, with the result that Dr. Uranium was preserved for posterity.

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9 At the conclusion of the debate tea was served in the Library. The session wound up with a meeting of the United Nations Assembly on April 3rd for the purpose of hearing arguments advanced by delegates from four of the associated nations in support of their claims to a contract for the supply of bird- seed to the United Nations canaries. The four delegates, assuming national dress for the occa- sion were . . . Mr. Gordy McTaggart, for Scotland (G. H. Grayston); Texas Bill, for U.S.A. (B. E. Wheelwright); Mr. Daffi Ghan Istan, for India (C. W. Kempe) ; and Mr. Poo Poo Velly Hi Pong, for China (M. G. Marsh) . The Russian delegate had previously withdrawn his claim as his country had not yet concluded their investigation of the possibilities of producing a bird-seed which would induce canaries to sing Communist songs only. Mr. McTaggart argued that the fact that the beautiful music of the bagpipes could only be accounted for by the nutri- tional qualities of Scotch Oats should be enough to convince any logical mind that Scotch bird-seeds was the brand to evoke the sweetest response from the canaries. He felt that the dis- turbed political conditions were likely to interfere with the production of good bird-seed in China and India; and, if grown, would it be exported? He was informed that America was largely a land of desert, and the few green patches were fully taken up with the cultivation of oranges. Texas Bill spoke next. He felt that the question as to what proportion of his country was desert would be irrelevant be- cause his bird-seed was a synthesis of the rich mineral wealth of the U.S.A. He gave a formidable list of its components, including sulphuric acid, nitroglycerin, gelatine and sawdust; above all, it was radio-active. His further eulogiums were reminiscent of the advertisement features for patent medicines on ZBM. Mr. Daffi Ghan Istan gave a scientific appreciation of Indian bird-seed, built up on millet as a base. Cheap labour made production economical, and large quantities were avail- able for export. Scotland was too bare and bleak to grow any- thing much beyond weeds . . . and golf-courses. The Ameri- cans were too busy blowing up their country with atom bombs to have much time for such peaceful pursuits as growing bird- seed. China was over-populated, and couldn ' t grow enough food for its own people, let alone bird-seed.