Saltus Grammar School - Yearbook (Hamilton, Bermuda)

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10 Esmeralda was suffering from flu, and could not be exhibited in court, but Mr. Justice Wisecrack asked certain witnesses to give an imitation of the braying, and the court was treated to a series of noises ranging from the 12 o ' clock siren to that of an elephant in pain. Order in court was effectively maintained by the Clerk of the Court (T. W. P. Vesey) with the aid of a wooden mallet of unusual proportions. In the course of his directions to the Jury, Mr. Justice Wisecrack said that, regarding the claim for damages, they had to satisfy them- selves that the plaintiff did actually suffer injury through being kicked by a donkey, and that such donkey was the property of the defendant, Wuffles. Having satisfied themselves on these two points they had still to ask whether the injury was due to any contributory negligence on the part of the plaintiff, Whiner: did he, for instance, place himself in such a position that it would be too much to expect any self-respecting donkey to refrain from lashing out ? Next came the question of nuisance: here they had to decide, (1) was there a braying? and (2) if so, did the braying emanate from the donkey belonging to Wuffles? and (3) was this braying of such a magnitude as to constitute a nuisance? Braying was of course naturally asso- ciated with donkeys: people expected them to bray: people would even be disappointed if they didn ' t bray (imagine buying a donkey and finding that it hadn ' t a bray in it: wouldn ' t one feel cheated?). Then, too, the world of today was a noisy world, and one must expect to put up with a certain amount of noise, even while objecting to it, but there was a limit to human endurance, and it was for the Jury to decide, as a question of fact, whether the volume of sound emitted by the donkey, combined with its frequency, was more than any ordinary man or woman living in the close neighbourhood , should reasonably be expected to suffer. After a short retirement the jury filed back into court, and the Foreman ( F. R. Snape) returned a verdict for the plaintiff on both counts, with a recommendation of mercy on Esmeralda. Mr. Justice Wisecrack then delivered judgment. For the kick- ing he awarded to the plaintiff damages amounting to one farthing. Regarding the nuisance he offered a choice to the defendant: within a fortnight he must either dispose of Esmeralda or secure for her a silencer (Model Donk Mark II) as supplied by all reputable purveyors of motor accessories. Other debates held during the past season have been : — October 19, 1950: ' ' The World of today offers to youth greater chances of success than ever before. Proposer Mr. Kerry Opposer D. W. Macky Third T. W. P. Vesey Fourth D. E. W. Lines The motion was defeated by two votes.

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9 and klaidescopic colours. The following day, we took a little boat, The Maid of the Mist, and wearing oilskins, we steamed almost under the foot of the falls. It gave one a feeling of infinite smallness to see the solid wall of water falling from terrifying heights. The visit to Niagara was a fitting climax to a wonderful vaca- tion. I had never seen so much in my whole life as I saw in those two months. However, as is always the case, we began to tire of Guelph and to look forward to our return to Bermuda. It was almost as if we were taking another vacation, this time from Guelph to Bermuda. With mixed feelings we watched Guelph recede, then Toronto ... La Guardia and we were homeward bound at the end of a most interesting trip. V. M. FORD. The Debating Society There has been a full programme of stimulating debates during the past season, but the highlight was the Mock Trial, held on March 1st. Here was heard the astounding case of Whiner (D. E. W. Lines) v. Wuffles (K. T. C. Davis) before Mr. Justice Wisecrack (A. G. Marsh). The facts of the case were these: The defendant, Wuffles, was the proud owner of a donkey, Esmeralda, against which two allega- tions were made, first that it had kicked and injured the plaintiff, Whiner, and second that its inordinate braying constituted a nuisance to Whiner, his family, and every other resident within a quarter mile radius. Whiner sought damages for the injury, and an injunc- tion to restrain the braying. Counsel for the plaintiff was Sir Patrick Backchat (Mr. W. G. Maundrill), and the defendant was represented by Sir Hartley Cross- talk (Mr. M. R. Stevens). Witnesses for the plaintiff visibly wilted under the grilling cross-examination of Sir Hartley, while witnesses for the defendant found Sir Patrick ' s suave manner no less deadly. The witnesses produced were: — For the plaintiff: Mr. Dagwood Bumpstead (D. V. Ridgway), an Actor. Dr. Rigamortis (G. W. Young), Medical Practitioner. Mons. Fromage (L. R. Patterson), a Clown. For the Defendant: Dr. A. S. S. Bray (C. B. Corbin), Veterinary Surgeon. Dr. Corp Punt (H. C. Adderley), Schoolmaster. Stanislaus Vitskoski (R. W. Horsey), Psychologist (referred to as a Trick Cyclist by the cross-examining counsel).

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n November 9 — Bermuda has forfeited her claim to be called the Isles of Best. Proposer F. R. Snape Opposer D. W. Macky Third Mr. Stevens Fourth Mr. Maundrill The motion was carried by two votes. January 11, 1951: — Inter-House Debate. Butterfield and Darrell v. Saltus and Watlington. The Judges awarded eighteen points to Butterfield and Darrell and fourteen points to their opponents. January 25 — The poor boy has a better chance of success in life than the rich one. Proposer F. R. Snape Opposer D. E. W. Lines Third .... Mr. Maundrill Fourth Mr. Stevens The motion was carried by seven votes. There have also been held two Hat Debates, whereat all mem- bers were called upon to make impromptu speeches on subjects drawn from the hat, which yielded up such topics as Can the United Nations preserve peace, and how? Suppose you are to be shot tomorrow, what do you fancy for supper tonight? The motor buses do not make up for the loss of the railway. Are we fair to schoolmasters? Describe a corkscrew. Prices are too high in Bermuda. We are indebted to Mr. Maundrill and to Mr. Stevens for their contributions to our debates, which have given members an oppor- tunity of learning much about the technique of public speaking. Officers for the year 1950-51. President Mr. J. H. Kerry Secretary F. R. Snape Committee R. M. Constable, A. G. Marsh, C. E. Ranee, T. W. P. Vesey, and the Secretary. J. H. K.