Saltsburg High School - La Saltianna Yearbook (Saltsburg, PA)

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THE SALT SHAKER diaafi prapfjmj Robert McKelvey, Jr., Class President For the sake of momentary amusement, let us forget about the present and look into the dim uncertainty of the mysterious future. This prophecy is built upon a telephone conversation between myself and another member of the class in the year 1948, fifteen years from now. “Hello, Hello! Is this Myron Kiebler? It is, eh? Gosh! It doesn't seem possible for me to be talking to you again. I read in the paper last night that the famous lecturer and scientist, Myron Kiebler, would be in town today at the William Penn Hotel. So I thought I would call you up and talk about old times. (Listens.) What? You don’t know who this is? It seems you ought to remember my voice. I used to yell at you loud enough in study hall whenever the teacher went out. (Listens.) Yes, you guessed it. This is Bob McKelvey, alright. Do I remember the fun we had in Biology Class? I reckon I do. Mr. McMillen was certainly a case, wasn't he? Do you remember the time right after lunch when he said we were going to cut up a frog, and that he had one right there in his pocket to be used as a sample? Yes. And when he pulled the paper sack out of his pocket and dumped its contents on the table and out rolled a nice-looking sandwich; I nearly died laughing. (Listens.) “He sure did. But not only did he look funny—do you remember what he said? He said, ‘That’s funny! I distinctly remember eating my lunch.' Say, Myron, I wonder whatever became of him? (Listens.) He absent-mindedly put his cigar to bed and threw himself out of the window about two years ago? Gee! I hadn't heard about that.” (Listens.) “What? You don't know anything about any of our classmates because you've been in Europe? Well, I’ll tell you about any you wish. (Listens.) “Oh, you surely know what I’m doing! Why, I’m managing a store right here in the city. I guess I got my start working in my dad’s store back in Saltsburg. (Listens.) Ruth Cochran? That’s right, you did use to be a little sweet on her, didn’t you? It was probably her stylish clothes that attracted you more than anything else. Well, she’s making good use of her ability to wear clothes well. She's a model now in a Paris dress shop. Makes good money, too, I 've heard. (Listens.) “Did any of the others turn out so well? I’ll say they did! You know Gilbert Maguire always wanted to be a wild animal trainer? Well, he has a big farm down in Louisiana where he raises guinea pigs for laboratory purposes. You know how bashful he was in our Senior play. Well, he got over that, too. Oh— yes! Donald Shirley, who wanted to break into big league baseball, caught Babe Ruth’s long ♦ ♦ : i home run hit in the 1938 World Series. Of course Don was down in the right field bleach- I ers instead of on the playing field, but he had a thrilling experience anyway. (Listens.) “Yes, Eva Dunn and Sarah Ameno did try to get into the movies. And the joke of it is that one of them did. What? Now which one would you think would be the more likely to get in? You think Sarah was the better looking? I can’t agree with you on that. I think Eva is better looking. But Sarah was the one, though. Eva couldn’t make it because her voice didn’t record well. But she got on the staff of a film magazine where she got to interview the screen stars and write them up in the magazines. She had a natural gift for nosing into people’s affairs, so it seems she went well with Walter Winchell. I notice that she has never given Sarah a write-up even though Sarah is now a star. (Listens.) “No, Dan McDivitt didn’t go to Yale as he ; had planned. He took an airplane from New j York to go up to New Haven, but the plane got lost in the fog and made a forced landing at Princeton, New Jersey. Dan was a little leary of getting into that machine again, so he stayed there and entered Princeton University, instead of Yale. It was just as well, because Princeton needed a good basketball player more than Yale did. (Listens.) “Who? Janet Conn? She is our class’s only contribution to the legitimate stage. You know she used to win all the prizes for orations and carry off the honors in plays in High School. Well, she is now appearing in the Pulitzer Prize Play running on Broadway. And, you know, funniest thing, Who do you think is designing all the scenery for the stage in that play at Radio City? None other than Honest John Rupert, who used to have all the tricks and work the math, puzzles. (Listens.) No, Mary Ellen Walters didn’t marry that rich banker as we all thought she would. She eloped with that traveling man who used to deliver Tom’s Toasted Peanuts to Charlie Martin’s. He was later transferred to another State, so I don’t know how they are getting along. However, the banker is now in prison over some money deal, so I guess Mary Ellen knew best after all. (Listens.) “Oh, yes, Mabel Stine. Well, she intended to be a teacher. She went to college, but was never able to find a job. So she’s still at college. I suspect she’s taken about every course they have to offer. It probably wouldn’t be any fun to see her again. She probably talks like a dictionary by this time. (Listens.) (Concluded on Page 11) ►1 9 3 3- ►»♦♦♦« Page Nine

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(Hlasis Mtora ! Janet Conn, 1 Scene—A living room in a home. Time is ♦ evening. Lights are turned low. Mother sits ♦ reading. Sonny boy sits in a low chair near ! a floor lamp reading a book. t Sonny Boy—Bending over book and spell- ♦ ing, S-E-N-I-O-R.” Say, mother, what's a 1 S-E-N-I-O-R? Is it something good to eat? | Or maybe it’s a bear. ♦ Mother— No, no, Sonny Boy. Seniors are ♦ not bears; they are people. People just like ! you and me. ♦ Sonny Boy— People. Say, mother, this ♦ story must be about Seniors. Here's a picture ♦ of one of them at school. They look just like f this picture. Mother, read to me about | Seniors. I Mother, reading— Once upon a time, a 1 long, long time ago, nearly 12 years ago, there j were some little boys and girls. These little ♦ boys and girls did not go to school as you and ! I do. They were not old enough to go to J school. But they wanted to go to school. So ♦ their papas and mamas told them that when + they were six years old they could go to school. So, one day all of them were six years old. ♦ When the school bell rang in the fall of the ♦ year these little boys and girls started off to school, with their books and tablets. They went to the Saltsburg School and the name of their teacher was Miss McQuaid. Of course, these little boys couldn’t read. They couldr’t write either. But their teacher told them if they would try hard and study well, that some day when they got bigger they could go to high school. The little boys and girls wanted to go ; to high school and play basketball, and be in plays, so they studied for eight long years. Then one day their teacher told them that they J were ready for high school. But all of the lit- ♦ tie boys and girls who started to school ♦ weren’t ready for high school. Some of them J had not studied as hard as they should. Some ♦ had moved away from town, and some other ♦ little boys and girls had moved in to take their ! places. So of all the little boys and girls left J to go to high school there were: Gladys Allen- ♦ baugh, Sarah Ameno, Ward Brown, Geneva I Cash, Ruth Cochran, Janet Conn, George Cun-J kleman, Gladys Dawson, Dorothy Drummond, ♦ Elmer Duke, Eva Dunn, Clifford Fishel, Carl Fletcher, Ernest Fletcher, Larue Flick, Edwin J Franklin, Christy Greece, June Hilty, Richard J Hogue, Anna Keeley, Melissa Kennedy, Myron ♦ Kiebler, Olive Kinter, McKay Lytle, Gilbert » Maguire, Mary Marsaln, Harry Momberger, J Thelma McCracken, Dannie McDivitt, Robert ♦ McKelvey, Irene McLaughlin, Duane Palmo, ♦ Charles Pendlyshok, John Rupert, Mary Sher- May 25, 1933 lock, Esther Shirley, Dorothy Shupe, Charlotte Smith, Mabel Stine, Sarah Stockdale, Irma Waddle, Thelma Waddle, Mary Ellen Walters and James Wilson. Well, when these boys and girls came to high school, they found a lot of other boys and girls who were older than they were. Some of them seemed to know so much more than others. They paraded around looking dignified, and sort of lordly like. Now the little boys and girls found out that these people had been in high school a long time. Some of their teachers told them that if they would work hard for four years they would know a lot, too. There were so many boys and girls in high school that they gave our group a special name. They called them Freshmen. The Freshmen found high school so much different from grade school. There were not so many subjects to study; but they were so much harder. There was one subject that was the queerest thing. If you didn’t know what it was about, you just said, Let X be it.’ Then finally you knew what the answer was, even though you didn’t know what is was all about. There were other subjects very different like Latin and Sicence. Afterwhile the Freshmen found out that another school year had passed. After vacation when they went back to school they weren’t Freshmen anymore but they were Sophomores. Being a Sophomore was just like being a Freshman, only different. A Sophomore thinks he knows so much more than a green, awkward Freshman, only he doesn’t. He just thinks he does. So our little boys and girls weren’t little any more; but they were grown-up Sophomores. Well, they had some other funny things to study. They bisected angles and dissected frogs; but bisecting an angle and dissecting a frog are just as different as eating toadstools and mushrooms. They were glad they had studied hard when they were little as their teacher had told them to. so they could go to high school. For if they had not gone to high school they wouldn’t have had that never-to-be-forgotten trip to Pittsburgh. On this trip they were conducted through the Museum and Zoo by Mr. McMillen and Miss Carson. Not one of the party was lost. Then there was that exciting time when Esther Shirley decided to end her school days and enter the stormy sea of Matrimony, and Gladys Dawson followed her example. Then school was out again and the boys and girls went home to play. No, they didn’t go home to play this summer, for they were M ♦♦ Page Ten 19 3 3