Salem State University - Clipper Yearbook

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A Comedy of Errors On a lonesome back road sat an old weather-beaten house, where two ladies had lived all alone for more than half a century. Going to the window one evening to draw the shades, one of the ladies saw a strange sight,-a man carrying a woman. Xaturally excited, she called her sister. As the man came nearer, they saw that in one arm he was carrying the headless body of a woman, while still more horrible, he had in the other hand,-the head. Too terrified to speak, too stunned to move, they stood gazing out of the window. As the man hurried by, he looked furtively up and increased his speed. For fully five minutes after he had passed, the women remained fixed in one spot, staring wildly at each other. Then the elder sister broke the silence, exclaiming, Pru- dence, what are we thinking of ? He is a murderer! We have let him escape. Go see in what direction he has gone, and I will call up the police. Prudence had just started for the door when the loud pealing of the bell sounded through the house. Her sister, in the act of taking down the receiver, dropped it with a bang, and then everything was quiet again. Summoning up all her courage, Prudence for the second time approached the door on tiptoe, and peering out through the curtains, she saw two ladies, their nearest neighbors, pacing nervously up and down the piazza. She flung open the door, crying, Did you see him? lVho was he? 'Where did he go Z As soon as the ladies, who were still trembling from the effects of their awful ex- perience, could speak, they told their story. It was M r. Grant,-the Mr. Grant who had been married only six months! There was no mistake. It was he, for he had looked directly at them. They informed the police at once. 'X' 'X' -1- 'X- X- 'X- -X- -It Mr. Grant had just sat down to a piping hot supper. Opposite him sat his spoiled and potted wife, a sweet, delicate-looking woman. They heard a horse stop in front of the house, and then somebody rang the door hell. Who can he eoming at this hour ? asked Mrs. Grant. ller hnshand went to the door and opened it, hut before he had time to say Good evening, two polief-men walked in, one of whom carried a pair of liamlentls. Xl r. Grant, they said, we have come to plaee you under arrest. Wind-Alf asked Mr. Grant, with a frown. To plan-e you nnder arrest, l say Y exelaimed one of the policemen, shortly. What for 6 asked Mr. Grant. What for! Un the eharge of murder! 'l'wo ladies saw yon carrying the mutilated body of a poor woman through the streets. Certainly yon don't intend to deny the charge I 24

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Echoes from the Training School Teacher: What does transposition mean? Pupil: Well, it means that you take cabbagcs or potatoes from one part of the garden and plant them in another. QI fear Miss Warren has confused the child.j Found in a sixth grade composition on Arch Ball. Archer Ball is the man that sits in front, gives you the pitch, and then you sing it. Teacher: In some of the old Roman houses there are great fissures VCSmall hand raised in the rearj Well, James? James: What kind of fishes? CSpeaks Well for Miss G's articulationlj Found on paper in seventh grade in answer to a Written test. There was no name to the paper-I Wonder Why? Taraff is a emaganary line beyond which no goods can travell. Teacher: Who is Uncle Sam? Pupil Qeagerlyl : President Wilson. Miss McCauley: The Greeks had many gods and goddesses, and Venus was the Goddess of Beauty. Voice heard protesting: I don't think Venus is very pretty. Why, she hasn't any arms! Teacher: Birds get mud on their feet to plaster their nests. Suppose there are seeds in the mud, what happens to them? Small girl fgigglingj : They will grow in the birdis feet. Miss Lufkin Cafter finishing a blackboard drawing of frogsj: Asa, What have I drawn on the board? c Asa Qwith his head on one sidej: Them teacher? Them's teddy bears. Little Willie B- had learned that he should always excuse himself if he sneezed While in the presence of others. One day while his division was studying the reading lesson and the other division was reciting, Willie had the misfortune to sneeze. Without a moment's hesitation, he piped out, Excuse me! 23

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Deny the charge! Well, I guess! laughed Mr. Grant. Can't a child carry a doll Without a license? Can't a man carry a dummy, a mere form, just the likeness of a person? Behold the murdered woman! And as he opened a door, they saw lying on the floor a dressed model, with the wax head lying beside it. The policemen looked sheepishly at each other, and then began to laugh. Is that the Woman who has caused so much terror and trouble 3 The very one, said Mr. Grant. Let me tell you about her before - you arrest me. My wife is president of the Woman's Club. This morning, as I was going to my place of business, she asked me to send home by express a dressed form that I use in my store windows, for a play that they are to give tomorrow evening. I forgot to tell the expressman, so I had to bring it home myself. I took a back road because I did not Want to attract too much attention. I cannot begin to tell you how awkward the creature was to carry. When I had gone a short distance, I unscrewed the head and took it in my other hand to equalize the Weight. I distinctly remember that two ladies Whom I passed edged to one side of the road when they saw me coming, and after I went by, took to their heels. I laughed to myself at the time, but I did not think of arrest. What do you say ? Of course the infamous murder was hurriedly hushed up, and four Women hung their heads the following night when they recognized on the stage the object that had caused so much trouble. B. L. W. Why P There are many kinds of questions That a person's asked in life, But I wonder are there any In the course of our school strife More upsetting, and annoying, Irritating, and, Oh my! Set your head in frenzy reeling Like the foolish question Why? In class when youlve recited In a most scientiic way, And talked about all phases', And what the great guys say, Then the teacher, looking wisely, Kills your hopes of getting by, Says he sharply, Tho' that sounds well, You forgot to tell me 4'Why 3 M. T. C. 25