Salem High School - Quaker Yearbook (Salem, OH)

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up to those of head clerk. He also leaves one-third of the stock which he owns in the Hemmeter-Martens company to this would-be Dry Goods merchant. ITEM XXIV. Herbert Church does hereby give and will his longest pair of trou- sers to Nathan Hunt. At first sight of Nathan's stature one is gently reminded of Swift's Gulliver's Travels, and with one grating jar you come to realize that you are being imposed upon as little men of Lilliput. The terrible neck strain endured by star-gazers can be no worse than that of a person trying to converse with Nathan. ITEM XXV. Fred McCleery and Theodore Jewell have formed a partnership for the common purpose of leaving their beautiful soft collars and brightly colored, showy neck-ties, to Walter Pow. Curiously enough, Walter always comes to school attired in a pretty red sweater, and only on rare occasions does he ever show a neck-tie. ITEM XXVI. Vera Cole does give, will and bequeath her ability to sprint when attempting to catch the train to Ashtabula, to Jean Borden. Do you think anyone else could make a more appropriate gift? Jean, when you want to catch a train it would be wiser for you to call the taxi. ITEM XXVII. Ida Holdereith wills a third of her height to Esther Tomlinson, who, it is very plain to be seen, needs such an addition. Blessed be the man who invented sky-scrapersg but oh, sad world, at last we have found a Hcompanion of mis- eryn for Nathan Hunt. ITEM XXVIII. Russell Gwinner leaves his ability to run the mile in halt' an hour, to Donald Burcaw, who really makes the absurd claim that he wasn't cut out for an athlete at all. Taking into consideration that Don couldn't run the mile at all before, we would say that he should be able to make it in at least forty-five minutes with a great deal of practice on the track. ITEM XXIX. Wilbert Vollman leaves his ability to study astronomy without the aid of a telescope, to Robert NVilson, who is so small that he would need a step-ladder to enable him to see through one of the big spy-glasses. This isn't a story of Jack and the Bean-Stalk, but what we meant to say was that IVilbert is so tall that he can explore the mysterious heavens without effort. ITEM XXX. Mary Bustard gives and wills her grade of 891-ZS in deportment for the four years, to Charles Greene. Charles is a human being just like the rest of us, and therefore hasn't reached the hundred per cent. efficiency mark in deportment. So even Mary's small gift will be accepted with great appreciation. ITEM XXXI. Agnes Stiver wills all of l1er immense supply of foolish giggles to Helen McClain. VVith this large store of provisions and a little experience, Helen could go into the wholesale business and probably make an overwhelming success. It is quite apparent that she is getting practice day after day, and perhaps there is some improve- ment, Who can tell! ITEM XXXII. Elsie Thomas gives and wills her ability to make acquaintances easily, but especially with boys, to Esther Fultz. Esther hasn't been waiting for this gift to come her way, but has really been seeking her own opportunities. If you feel a little in doubt, just ask anyone about the number of visitors she has. ITEM XXXIII. Ruel VV'right 'does hereby give, will and bequeath his strongly guarded and much envied ability to make high grades and a good reputation to Ella Smith. The words star and shark come very far from accurately describing these two students. Ruel is the honor member of the Senior Class and Ella, the honor member of the Juniors. I ITEM XXXIV. Hope Leeper leaves her ability to see far into the future to Henry Turner. We are very certain that if Henry could have seen that he would need the nine lives of a cat to get through High School, he never would have attempted it. At any rate he is just finishing his six-year sentence, which nearly became one for life. pun twenty-four '

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time, for Rhea, seemingly does not care into what sort of society she casts her lot. Our reasons for thinking thus must' be self-evident because for some time past she has been drifting about with just an ordinary Cook. , ITEM XII. Bernice Grove gives, wills, and bequeaths her pretty locks of long hair to William Carlyle. Perhaps it is a little hard on Williaiii to say this, but it actually looks as though he were trying to compete With the girls. Nevertheless he is a good fellow and frequently attends the Barbers' Reunion. ITEM XIII. Harold Gearhart Wills his hat and his long Cll walk to school to Theo- dore Wolford. Harold only lives across the street from school and so doesn't need his hat. Ted certainly deserves to live closer to school, because, for some time he has made the walk, only a matter of a few miles, twice a day, but now he will have it much easier. ITEM XIV. Edith West leaves her last name to South Metzger. Good luck, South-XVest-, perhaps some day when you have acquired a name for every point of the compass, thirty-two in all, you can divide up with some of us who have only one good nick-name. ITEM XV. Carl Yengling does hereby give, will and bequeath his talent as a ear- toonist to Howard Foltz, who is already quite an artist. If Howard can only accommo- date the given talent to his own, We may expect some works of great value from him in the near future. ITEM XVI. Solbert Greenberger gives and wills his ability to keep pace with Master Fashion to Lawrence Beardmore, who we fully expect will go to Paris and - Show 'em how to do it. ITEM XVII. Edith Lentz wills her ability to keep up both ends of a conversation to Betty Atchison. What is most deceiving is the 'fact that so much material can be found in so small a space, but have we not found that air is compressible to a re- markable degree? ITEM XVIII. Fred Harroff does give, will and bequeath his marked ability as Master of Oratory, Debate and a general Free-for-All, to his brother Ray. Don't mistake this act as an evidence of brotherly kindness, for Fred simply believes in keeping old relics in the family as long as possible. ITEM XIX. To Lois Garret, Mabel Berlin leaves two rosy cheeks and a winning smile for everyone, but especially for the opposite sex. Mabel has certainly worked out to a finish, the old proverb, Laugh, and the world laughs with you, for her smiles have proved to be quite catching. We will see how well this holds true in the case of Lois. ITEM XX. Leon I-Ienault wills and bequeaths one of his numerous fair friends to Russell Myers, who has never been seen with one of his own choice. Leon is certainly not quite so unfortunate as was Solomon, but we don it see how he could miss just one out of so many UD hundred. VVe will have to admit that perhaps there were not quite so many as we have said, but there were too many to count. ITEM XXI. James VVilson leaves his ability to make a lot of noise without the aid of any external appliances whatever, to William Linn. It seems just natural for these two boys to stir up a lot of noise regardless of whether it means anything or not. This quality is no drawback to Jim 's character, but he needs it no longer and VVilliam is seeking re-enforcements and will be glad to receive the gift. ITEM XXII. Mary XVilson gives her commendable ability to push things and gain results to James Hayden. In his work, so far, Jim has gained some good results and has proved himself to be a very fair student, gathering together a few good fill grades. As for pushing things, we believe the only thing he would be able to push would be a wheel-barrow, and probably couldn't keep this on the side-Walk. ITEM XXIII. To Reuben Smith, Cecil Uhessman does give, will and bequeath his varied experiences in the Dry Goods business, namely, the experiences of a delivery boy, page twenty-three

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ITEM XXXV. Russell Campf wills specially patented ideas concerning plans for the promotion of a new Rapid Transit company, to Ray VVhiunery. Dutch doesn 't intend to set the world on tire with his plans of new and Wonderful possibili- ties, but in his own steady way he will help to push the world on in its course. ITEM XXXVI. Mary Pow leaves her unusual ability to secure the last word with even an echo, to Florence Lair. If Florence can use her newly acquired gift with any degree of success, there will be no peace of mind for any of us. We have heard it rumored that they let the phonograph talk to Mary at home, and just now we wonder if it isn't true! ITEM XXXVII. Catherine Cronin leaves her pleasant disposition to William Read, who will now become as happy as a lark. Observe that when he smiles it causes a geo- graphical disturbance which can only be measured by both North and South latitude, if you take his ears to be the North and South poles. ITEM XXXVIII. Mildred Hutcheson wills her ability to make acquaintances with out of town boys, to Helen Redington. We are unable to see the judgment in such a gift, for hasn't Helen more than her share of this laudable HJ faculty? Helen has been known to say, I know a man in every port, but the Seniors say, that it 's a case of Any port in a storm will do. ITEM XXXIX. Earl Shisler does will and give his ability to blow the clarinet to Doe Matthews. We all rejoice, for we are tired of hearing t'Doc blowing about nothing. We wish Earl heaps of good fortune for giving him at least something to blow, and as the Wind will be interminglcd with a little music, it will be much less objectionable. ITEM XL. To one of our farmer lads, Carl Hannay, Ruth Seeds does give, will and bequeath her extensive knowledge of Botany and a wide variety of seed catalogues. fThey are simply inferences anyone would draw upon reading her last name.j To one who knows Ruth quite well, her information regarding the above mentioned science does not seem so extensive as her name would appear to imply. The honest practica- bility of Ruth's gift will be seen at a glance, because we realize that seed planting time is drawing near. ITEM XLI. Anna Carey leaves all but twelve dozen of her freckles to Harry Lewis, who intends starting a Savings 8: Loan company in the near future. The new enterprise will be promoted under such a large capital that no other results than Ubig dividends can be expected. Judging from the pictures of the Senior Class, one would conclude that stock could not be had for any price within a few days after opening. ITEM XLII. Lillian Hayes does hereby will and give her quiet and graceful man- ner of moving about to Glenn Harris. Glenn has just passed through that period of a boy's life when he grows the most. On several occasions, he has involuntarily been made the target of jests, when to his amazement he found one of his feet stubbornly trying to go one direction, at just the precise moment when he was Wishing his other foot to go the opposite way. It is truly wished by the Seniors that Lillian 's gift will bring him consolation. ITEM XLIII. Eugene NVhite gives, wills and bequeaths his ability to keep out of other people 's way, and his characteristic distaste for trouble, to Charles Carey. Tot page twenty-Hve