Salem High School - Lyon Yearbook (Salem, IN)

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W GF- 'Hs An If In History If Christopher Columbus II According to the theories of the scien- tists of the twentieth century the moon is a bleak and desolate planet where no plants nor animals live. The air beyond the forty mile limit of the earth is so thin that one would be suffocated if he went there. Furthermore the moon is live million miles away. Of the forty billion people on the earth there was an American, Christo- pher Columbus II who believed that all the stories of the moon were false. Christopher was born in the year 1924 to a poor wool comber. Every day at eight o'clock and five o'clock, Christo- pher's father used to walk to and from the Consolidated American Wool Com- pany, where he operated a mammoth wool conrber which was invented by the great Scientist-inventor, George Cait- ein. Mr. Columbus belieyed' that, old things were best and thus life seemed dreary to him. Christopher was a very bright stufglcnt and passed through the High School and graduated at thirteen years of age. His favorite studies were History, Geometry, and Physics. At the age of twenty-one Christopher started on his life work. He ordered George Caffein to build him a sky rocket which had three rooms in it. But before the huge rocket was nn- lshed Christop.her's funds gave out. This did not discourage him, so he sent his brother, Bartholmew to the President of Mexico while he himself went to the President of United States, but it was all in vain. Just as he was thinking of giving up and jumping in the Ohio Riv- er or doing some other thing equally as desperate a new thought came to him. He would go and ask John D. Rockefel- ler Junior. The next morning Christopher board- ed an aeroplane and set out for the Rockefeller Mansion. He arrived there by noon and immediately went to see John D. Christopher laid out his plans to John D. and John became very interested and said, You are indeed a. genius, I will give you the most I can, but I have only S12,000,000. Christopher turned his head in disap- pointment and said, But I need 530,- 000,000. Then John D. Rockefeller said, I will .have to sell two of my oil wells to raise the money but I will do it. With tears in his eyes Christopher ran and kissed John D. After many years of preparation the sky rocket was ready. Christopher with his crew of four men got in the rocket and with a hiss and a bang the huge rocket shot off to Mars. After forty-four hours of traveling the rocket struck Virgin Mars. Here Columbus stayed for three weeks to con- sult Thomas A. Edison Jr., who was vis- iting Mars. After learning from Thom- as Edison that he must ily at an angle of 120 degrees so as to .hit the Moon, he started for the Moon. The rocket, which was one mile long, had seven-eights of t.he room for powder, the other one-eighth was divided into three rooms, two sleepers and t.he kitch- en. Columbus was awakened on the twen- ty-first night by a cry of Mutiny. He immediately ran to his room where he saw two of the men standing at the con- trol board. He grabbed a gun and shot 'both of them.. For the next week Columbus was constantly figuring at his charts and lfPage sixty-ninej

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tw rafiir' an the way down the stairs of t.hat school! 1-or which sinful deed he is hereby con- signed to the deepest dungeon of Lartar- us, there to be,.haunted by perpetual visions of stairs. Oh, spare me, groaned the victim. By order of QPLUTO, finished the in- exorable boatman. But I don't see how they knewfl tell you, Mr. brooks was NOT looking that day, cried the unfortunate soul. O Charon, have mercy. Sorry, replied Charon, as he took off .his glasses and put them away. Orders is orders. Hop in the boat and make it snappy n0W. I see Mercury bringing an- other soul up the road. With his groaning passenger, the an- cient one rowed away over the black waters toward Lartarus, where sins are expiated. From the plaintive voice of Mr. Smith- Don't row so fast. It makes me sea-sick! Far up the road came the gleam of Mercury's flashlight. Death, observed the Contirmel Wanderer philosophically, is just one darned soul after another! Virginia Crim '24 Johnny- '-'Aw, say fellers where's Johnny Walk- er? yelled Sam Holden, as he came out of the woodshed with an armload of wood, Ain't he come yet? Naw, said Sid Wilson, First thing he knows he'll lose his reputation of be- ing called Johnny-on-the-Spot. I don't think he lives up to it anyhow. I bet he's afraid to come, said Jim, You know the ot.her day a bunch of us fellers wus goin' on a possum hunt and what d'yu know, Johnny wouldn't put his foot outside the door cause it was dark He's scared stiff of the dark. Yep, said Joe Price, he owned up to me one day that he was scared in the dark. He's just a regular, Fraidy-cat. Well, come on fellers let's go on, said Sid, lf we ain't here when he gits here I guess he knows where to find us. And so they started on. The gang as they called themselves were going skat- ing on the pond down in South Meadow. When the pond was reached the boys found the ice in a flne shape and so in the fun Johnny-on-the-Spot was forgot- ten. As darkness fell they began to think of returning home before supper. Let's go by the short way? said Sam, I know the way and we can get home quicker. ,V So all agreed. But, we're dependin' on you to show us the way, said the others. They preceded over the rough, snow- covered fields. It was getting to be very dark and a strong wind was blowing. Say, I wish Johnny was here, said Jim, Wouldn't he be scared? Finally they came out gf the rough ground into the road. Over there's the railroad fellers, said Sam. 071 -the-Spot Above the turn of the railroad was a large boulder and suddenly as the boys came around a bend in the road, a flgure stood up on the top of the boulder. Look, there fellers, whispered Sid. There's a man on the top of the rock. 'tGee, whispered Joe. I'll bet he's a, tramp waitin' to catch a ride on the next freight. Say, let's run. And run they did. Then as they came nearer they heard some one shout, He1p! Help! What's the matter? yelled Sam. , Oh, so its you fellers, answered the voice and from the group below came the astonished exclamation, Johnny Walker! Well I'll be jiggered! And in a moment Johnny was with them. Say, fellers he cried breathlessly, When I was goin' to the pond I found a broken rail and was a waitin' to stop the train. Just then the shrill whistle of the train was heard in the distance. The boys dashed up the track, shouting and waving their caps. The engineer know- ing that something was wrong brought the train to a stop and came running toward the boys. He listener. to their sim-ry and the grateful passengers poured out their thanks to the have .tn-l several dollars was made up for them. Say, fellers, I take that all back what I said 'bout Johnny Walker the other day, said Joe Price, as the gang was gathered on Sam I-Iolden's woodpile, several days later. An me to, said Jim Allen, John- ny's a real sport that's what! You bet he is! yelled every boy on the woodpile and so Johnny Walker's name ever since has been Johnny-on- the-Sp0t. lPage sixty-eightl

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A-lu na -sf N- ss comparing them with the gyrometer, or he was listening on his six stage super Hertodyne radio set for a signal from the earth. On the fiftieth day when he had cal- culated that he would hit the moon he heard the signal which meant that he would strike the moon, but still he didn't. For the next week Columbus was figuring desperately with the charts. He could only save the rocket by luck. Thinking that he had missed the moon, Columbus sent a message saying, We are gone. Have not struck the moon yet. He received a reply, Earth has 'made a mistake. You will strike it tomorrow. This message was from Mars. Columbus ran to his men and told them the joyful news. To the one who sees the moon tlrst I will give this set, said Christopher. December 12, 1951, the second sighted the moon 1,000 miles radio On mate away. Columbus slowed the Rocket and gracefully landed upon the down Moon's surface. He Around him were many beautiful plants and trees. He also found queer men who talked a strange language. 'Columbus returned with two of these men on Feb. 24, 1952. He was known the world over for having discovered the moon. got out and found there was air. Four years later Columbus made an- other voyage to t.he moon. On his re- turn trip the Rocket broke and plunged to the earth. The Rocket was crushed but miraculously Columbus was saved by jumping from the Rocket w.hen it was 100 miles away. By the use of his invention, the Gravity Deiler, he slid to the earth easily. At this time Columbus's note to John D. was due and as John D. was low in his finances he sued Columbus. Colum- bus filed for bankruptcy in the court but through the sinister efforts of his rival Americus Vespucius II he failed and was thrown into prison. One day Americus Vespucius II came to him in the prison and told him that he would get him out of the prison if he would tell of his voyage to the moon. Columbus did, but the evil Vespucius did not keep his promise. On August 4, 1960, Columbus died of at broken heart. Americus Vespucius II wrote a. book My trip to the Moon and thus got t.he reward for Columbus's discovery. Ten years later Rayolfe Mantel, a Martian Scientist, learned of Vespucius's treachery and made a journey to the earth under camafladge of getting ad- vice. While he was on the earth he fed Vespucius some poison. Like most treacherous criminals Amer icus Vespucius II got his reward. Norman Link '25. fPage seventyl