Salem High School - Lyon Yearbook (Salem, IN)

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-A-In iw 'WON' wi A S tygian Conversation QNight Musing s ofa Vergil Studentj Say, Charon, remarked the Confirm- ed Wanderer, What d' you know- there's a new soul coming up the road. YVonderful, said the aged boatman, who was putting a new seat in his skiff. A particularly fat millionaire-soul had broken one on the last trip. Wonder- ful! There .hasn't been a time in the last seventeen thousand, eight hundred and sixty-one years when I couldn't see a new soul coming up that road. Very novel sight. But this one's such a greenhornf' persisted the Wanderer. Keeps looking around at the rocks like he never saw any before, and'-say! if he gets that mouth any wider open he'll swallow you and your boat in one gulp! Wait till he's been dead a couple hundred years, said Charon wisely. He'll be sick of underworld scenery by then. These new birds always make me tired. Why, t.hey don't know the A. B. C's. of being dead! Always asking so 'many questions- What's the name of this river? Who's the fellow that brou.g.ht me drown, here? Where do I go next? Somebody ought to publish a guide-book zto the underworld, up there. Well, you know that guy Vergil did try to once, the Conilrmed Wanderer reminded him. That was 'way back when Cerberus was only a pup. But he didn't get everything quite straight. Yep, answered Charon. I wish somebody would write us up right. F'r instance, people wonder how we get around ln the dark. Simps! Don't they know Plubo furnishes Hash-lights? Here's Mercury, he continued as the new soul and its celestial conductor ap- proached the boat, guided by the rays of Mercury's light. Lo, Merc, the Confirmed Wanderer greeted him. How's every little thing? Punk, said the lanky youth with the winged sandals. If the boss don't quit working nie so hard, little Mer- cury's gonna. be absent next time Vulcan calls the roll. Fact is, I've had an offer --of course this is strictly contldentialf' Of course, said the Confirmed Wan- derer. -from the Western Union, and I'm thinking of accepting it. t He won't, remarked the Wander- er. He's too fonl of Jupiter's brand of nectar. b I didn't mind personally conducting dead souls to the underworld so much when there were only one or two a day. Mercury continued, but what with the speeders and moonshine and people try- ing to swim across Niagra-gosh! Well, I don't envy you your job, ad- mitted the Confirmed Wanderer. But introduce your friend to us --pointing to the newly arrived soul standing agape in the background. Pardon me, yawned Mercury. This is the soul of John J. Smith, of Salem, Indiana, U. S. A., Upper World. Mr. Smith, meet Mr. Charon, head oi' the szeamboat line on the Styx. And this gent came here so long ago that we've forgotten his name, but we call hi-m the Confirmed Wanderer. The most conflrmedest one of all, so to speak, muttered the Wanderer, who was quite chummy with the soul of Shakespeare. G-glad to meet you both, chattered the timid Mr. Smith, regaining his voice for the first time since his entrance to the lower regions. Nice day, lsn't lt? I don't know, growled Charon, who IPage sixty-six

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A-In W won- gl 1 he following week was the longest that certain Seniors ever lived through or at least, so they thought. That week, also brought about a great change. Phyllis and Marjorie who had always been the best of chums, were never seen together. T.hey avoided each other as much as possible at school. The teachers, who were to pick the cast, would not even drop a hint as to how things were being decided. XVhen t.l1e list of the winners was read before the school at last, sure enough the first name read was Robert Patterson. Robert's lively little sister, who was a Freshman, piped up Oh, goodie, Bob got it! and then blushed violently during the laugh that follow- ed. The next name-could it be true+ was Pauline Milburn. Pauline a rather quiet girl, seemed very ordinary, com- pared to Phyllis and Marjorie. To be sure, Phyllis and Marjorie received good parts but they had both expected the leading role. It was a great 'blow to their pride but about two months later, as the curtain went down on the last scene, they were ready to admit that Pauline was really the girl who deserved the leading part. ln fact, they were really glad that she had gotten it because as it was, they had made up and were better friendsz than ever and more, they had found an wonderful new friend in Pauline. All this they knew, could never have been if either of them had gotten the leading role. Each had been a success in her part and if either, felt the tinge of envy of Pauline's success she was a good enough loser not to show it. At the party following the play, three happier girls could not have been found' in the whole United States than Pauline, Phyllis and Marjorie. Just before leav- ing, t,he yell leader led them all in some yells. The last one they gave was certainly true, as far as the three girls were concerned, at least. It was: Anybody down hearted? No! ' Everybody happy? Yes! Mary Catharine Pitts- M. ARKA In the little town of Salem Lived a boy named M. Arka, And he went to Salem High School Tended nearly every day. Speak of flirtin', say now listen That boy surely knew his bis, For when a note whizzed past your head You knew that it was his. But one night .he asked some girlie lf he might 'see her home' And the next day, when we found There's a big' knot on his dome. He wouldn't go to school any more Said, Nothin' doin' 'tall, Till graduation took the girl VVho'd brought about his fall. He lived to learn that not all girls Succumb unto his charm, And those he'd better leave alone Lest he should come to harm. .him lPage sixty-ilvefl

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-fi-ls W -won' 1 gl was always surly to new souls. It's al- ways nigl1t down here. At this juncture Mercury, who had settled himself on the bank for a nap, jumped to his feet with startling sud- denness. Oh, gosh, he groaned. Jup- iter's calling me again. Such a life! And he was off on the road to the upper world. Give us your flashlight, C. W., so Mr. Smith can sign up, said Charon. Sign up? queried the timid one. Yep, said Charon, producing a de- tachable leafed notebook and fountain pen. So you can be investigated, you know. No use to forge it either: they've got your signature over there. Why ju.st last week at soul tried to pass himself off as Rockfeller and turned out to be a boot-black! With nervous fingers Mr. Smith wrote the appallation his unsy-mpathetic par- ents had best-owed upon him, and watch- cd t.he boatman fold the slip and place lt in a hitherto-unnoticed container on a wire. Why, exclaimed John J., it's just like the cash system in a department store! But where do the wires go? Over the Styx, of course, said the Confirmed Wanderer. Plubo has a desk there, and as fast as messages come in he turns 'em over bo his assistants,- souls of income-tax experts and they look up your record, decide where you belong, and send the work back to Char- on, here. Then he takes you to your future abode. Efllciency, what? But Mr. Smith was troubled. In the excitement of being dead for the flrst time, he had forgotten that he would be judged for his misdeeds. His brow was damp with fear as he tried to think whet.hcr there was anything particular- ly awful. Don't take it so hard, old boy, said the Wanderer not ungently. Ive been through it too, you know. And where, w.hispered the new soul hoarsely, where were you sent? No place, answered the Wanderer calmly. U. B. ..U-- .. ? Pardon me underworld slang for Un- buried, explained the other. I wasz fishing in the royal fish pond and I fell! in. And as the king had a grudge a- gainst me he wouldn't let them get me out. Souls ef unburied people can't cross the Styx. you know. So I've been wan- dering around on this side of it ever since. Which kind was ir? ' Really, I've forgotten, he sighed. It was all so long ago. But I think it was Ramesesf' Tough luck! said the newcomer, touched. Are there any others like you? Heaps. But it's not so bad. For one thing, we get to watch all the new souls oome in. And we play tennis across the Styx with the souls in Elysium. Could- n't quite make baseball. Basemen com- plained they got rheumatism standing in the water. I say, here's your message. A tremer of fear shock the unhappy Mr. Smith as 'Charon calrily put on his glasses and unfolded the fateful paper. Yours of the thirteenth February, nineteen fourty-four, received, he read. In regard to aforesaid John J. Smith would say '-um-um-' moral charac- ter not bad as a whole, but once put a button in the collection plate. The cold chills ran up a'nd down Mr. Smith's spirit-spine. However, that might pass.-hey, what's this? Charon adjusted .his spectacles. Mr. Smith was in such agony that his mouth opened and closed helplessly like the gills of a flsh. On the fourteenth day of April, nine- teen hundred and twenty-four, the a- foresaid John J. Smith, being then a student in Salem High School, ran all IPage sixty-sevenl