Saint Helens High School - Lion Yearbook (St Helens, OR)

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wait, the scene hasn't changed yet, is that Bertha Brockhaus as the snake charmer in the next booth? Then the scene in the crystal ball changes, and I see Clifford Brower as the hero in a great movie play, Hearts Aflame , opposite Hazel Lickiss. Ah, yes, and Adeline Burkhead, poor girl, has done nothing all these long years but stay home and help her pop hoe straw- berries in good old Bachelor Flat. Dearie me, the scene is going back to a circus in St. Helens, and who are those people but George Caniparoli and June Malcolm. June, advertised as the world's largest lady, and George as the world's walking beanpole. And, oh yes, Blanche Chickering as a tight rope walker. And the scene hasn't left St. Helens yet. We see Glen Childs as football coach, in Mr. Lillie's place, but with a little more hair on his head, and Gilbert Chipman as principal of the St. Helens High School. The globe darkens, and a teriffic whirling is taking place. What can it be? Ah, the crystal clears and we see a queer land. It must be Mars. Who is that coming through a maze of dykes? Why itls Mary Disdero and Wilbert Engebretsen, famous scientists who have just arrived on Mars to do research work with Jane Miller and Clifford Moore as assistants. Again there is a great whirling and why, merciful heavens, it is Donald Keating looking at the world from Jupiter on which he has just arrived from a quarrel and separation from his dear, dear wife, Yola Serafin, at Reno. Then the crystal brings me back to earth and I see Gilbert Fessler as the brilliant professor of chemistry at Cambridge, and w hy, dearie me, once more, if that isn't Harlo Freeland in a long professor's robe with a shining bald head, reading out of one of Websterls forty-pound dictionaries all he can of English literature and Greek philosophy. The crystal is changing and I see smoke in the distance. My goodness, but it's thick! Ah, I understand, some poor old bachelor has burned his breakfast bacon, and he is sitting by the fire weeping. He raises his tear-stained face from his hands, and moans into the smoke. Well, well, and well, if it isnit Marion Gartman who has burned his last bacon rind. l19l

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TI-IE LIQN Cproplvecy for the Senior Class of 1934 On one of my world-wide wanderings I came at last to India, the most mystic, magical, and weird country on earth. Well, since I was here, I must see this so-called mystic country. I stopped before a gaudy booth. It was a fortune tellerls stand, and to relieve me of my present attack of nostalgia, I decided to stop in and find out what the old woman, reeking with garlic and onions, and smelling to the high heavens, had to say about the Senior Class of 1934 of the St. Helens High School. She gave me a toothless grin Cif it can be called such,J stood up as far as her rheumatism allowed, leaned on her cane, and beckoned me to follow her. As she hobbled down the dim corridor, I had no trouble in following her, with my nose. After a few minutes in the corridor, we came to a heavily curtained door. The old lady drew the curtain aside, and I saw a dim room, lighted only by a weird glow in a huge crystal ball that was majestically reposing on an elaborately carved table. The old Woman told me to speak to the ball and a scene would appear before me. Half frightened, I whispered, What has happened to the Senior Class of 1934 of the St. Helens High School? Dimly the glow within the ball began to fade and I could make out the face of a small, dark, bald headed man, with spectacles. Great heavens! It was Louis Abrams, the professor of philosophy at Know More College. The picture faded, and whose face should appear, but Frank Aszman's in beauty parlor attire. What was he doing but giving J errine Ballagh, the famous movie actress, a facial. The scene shifted from Hollywood to New York, and who should I see but Marie Baseel, dressed in a uniform of black, and feeding fourteen hungry orphans their breakfast in the orphan asylum. Then I saw Mona Bowser as Amie Sernple McPherson, the second, telling her beloved audience to follow in her footsteps. What was this? Richard Brakke? It couldn't be, but it was. There was the sign above the circus tent f'See Richard Brakke the world's tallest man, ten feet ten, for only ten centsf' And, llfil

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f 7 ,322 . X. 'MMMNWw' -MW-WWMWMTHE LIONAMNWMHVWAMMMMW-WMNMMMMNMWMWW l',,,g,'.', ,' I hear a noise like wedding bells. No, it isn't, it's Sunday morning in South Africa, and Ross Graham, a missionary, emerges from his poor hut to give his weekly uplifting sermon to the hilarious natives. And Jim Griffiths, would you believe it, we next see swimming the Atlantic, because his best girl from Columbia City, has gone to Europe, and he can't afford the rates on the boat. We next come to a construction gang. Who can that fat woman be? Why, it's Bertha Harris working in the cook house, and that poor tramp that just went by asking for a job, why that's Albert Gustafson, and James Harper, head civil engineer, out of the kindness of his heart, and for old times sake, gives him a job digging a ditch. The scene shifts to New York, where I hear Melvin Harper, the second Walter Winchell, announce Albert Heumann, the great violinist. I would never have known him but for Melvin. Why, he has long hair, it must come at least to his waist, and his shiny black swallow-tailed coat looks ridiculous to me. Ah, poor soul, I'll bet he is wearing his heart out for his music. The scene shifts to the South Sea Islands, where we see Miriam Sechler in a grass skirt and dancing under the full moon. We see Rose Houser, next in a tiny crowded tenement house in Chicago trying to live happily on her husband's wages of ten dollars a week, and raise six children. The scene is next shifted to India, where I see a fat old gent with a beard watching some beautiful young girls dance. Why, it's Ralph Johnson and his harem! My, my, it is taking the crystal a long time to clear this time. Why, we are going back to the United States again. Why I see Kentucky, and there are Wilma and Thelma Johnston raising goats! Can you believe it? We next see a white room in some city hospital and who is that but Marion Kemnitz operating on Rodney Kennedy's heart. And Katherine Ballatore is head nurse. Next the crystal takes us to a national park. Uncle Sam has evidently run out of Indians, for there sit Burlyn Lange and Grace Mason on the platform of the depot, wrapped in gaudy fContinuea' on page 22j I 20 I