Saint Helens High School - Lion Yearbook (St Helens, OR)

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TI-IE LIQN Cproplvecy for the Senior Class of 1934 On one of my world-wide wanderings I came at last to India, the most mystic, magical, and weird country on earth. Well, since I was here, I must see this so-called mystic country. I stopped before a gaudy booth. It was a fortune tellerls stand, and to relieve me of my present attack of nostalgia, I decided to stop in and find out what the old woman, reeking with garlic and onions, and smelling to the high heavens, had to say about the Senior Class of 1934 of the St. Helens High School. She gave me a toothless grin Cif it can be called such,J stood up as far as her rheumatism allowed, leaned on her cane, and beckoned me to follow her. As she hobbled down the dim corridor, I had no trouble in following her, with my nose. After a few minutes in the corridor, we came to a heavily curtained door. The old lady drew the curtain aside, and I saw a dim room, lighted only by a weird glow in a huge crystal ball that was majestically reposing on an elaborately carved table. The old Woman told me to speak to the ball and a scene would appear before me. Half frightened, I whispered, What has happened to the Senior Class of 1934 of the St. Helens High School? Dimly the glow within the ball began to fade and I could make out the face of a small, dark, bald headed man, with spectacles. Great heavens! It was Louis Abrams, the professor of philosophy at Know More College. The picture faded, and whose face should appear, but Frank Aszman's in beauty parlor attire. What was he doing but giving J errine Ballagh, the famous movie actress, a facial. The scene shifted from Hollywood to New York, and who should I see but Marie Baseel, dressed in a uniform of black, and feeding fourteen hungry orphans their breakfast in the orphan asylum. Then I saw Mona Bowser as Amie Sernple McPherson, the second, telling her beloved audience to follow in her footsteps. What was this? Richard Brakke? It couldn't be, but it was. There was the sign above the circus tent f'See Richard Brakke the world's tallest man, ten feet ten, for only ten centsf' And, llfil

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fax TI-IE LION I, Mabel Sturgess, will my ability to handle many things at once to Eloise Rau. I, Virginia Sutherland, leave my golden hair to Katherine Canich. I, Roy Urie, give my bicycle to Carl Rigdon. I, John Voss, give my manly form to LeRoy Mason. I, Melvin Weed, leave my Oregonian route to some other manly person to carry on. I, Oren Weed, donate Donald Brown to the girls of the Junior Class. I, George Yeager, leave my seat in the Chemistry Class to some Junior Who is ambitious to be a great chemist. I, Marvin Werings, donate my alibis to get excused from classes to Willie Pearson. - Katfverzne Ballatore ana' Glen Cbildf Commencement , Four years of studying and fun have passed, Commencement Will soon be here. Seventy-two students in the Senior Class Will be honored by families dear. Flowers and dresses have all been planned Class motto and colors too. The Senior Class Will soon disband And leave St. Helens High School. Where will they go, is what you ask, As they wander far and Wide. We hope they will find a Wholesome task And not drift along With the tide. We hope they will prosper as years go by, And cherish some memories too. Especially of those pleasant days Spent at St. Helens High School. Bertha Brockfzauf, St. Helens 34. I17I

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wait, the scene hasn't changed yet, is that Bertha Brockhaus as the snake charmer in the next booth? Then the scene in the crystal ball changes, and I see Clifford Brower as the hero in a great movie play, Hearts Aflame , opposite Hazel Lickiss. Ah, yes, and Adeline Burkhead, poor girl, has done nothing all these long years but stay home and help her pop hoe straw- berries in good old Bachelor Flat. Dearie me, the scene is going back to a circus in St. Helens, and who are those people but George Caniparoli and June Malcolm. June, advertised as the world's largest lady, and George as the world's walking beanpole. And, oh yes, Blanche Chickering as a tight rope walker. And the scene hasn't left St. Helens yet. We see Glen Childs as football coach, in Mr. Lillie's place, but with a little more hair on his head, and Gilbert Chipman as principal of the St. Helens High School. The globe darkens, and a teriffic whirling is taking place. What can it be? Ah, the crystal clears and we see a queer land. It must be Mars. Who is that coming through a maze of dykes? Why itls Mary Disdero and Wilbert Engebretsen, famous scientists who have just arrived on Mars to do research work with Jane Miller and Clifford Moore as assistants. Again there is a great whirling and why, merciful heavens, it is Donald Keating looking at the world from Jupiter on which he has just arrived from a quarrel and separation from his dear, dear wife, Yola Serafin, at Reno. Then the crystal brings me back to earth and I see Gilbert Fessler as the brilliant professor of chemistry at Cambridge, and w hy, dearie me, once more, if that isn't Harlo Freeland in a long professor's robe with a shining bald head, reading out of one of Websterls forty-pound dictionaries all he can of English literature and Greek philosophy. The crystal is changing and I see smoke in the distance. My goodness, but it's thick! Ah, I understand, some poor old bachelor has burned his breakfast bacon, and he is sitting by the fire weeping. He raises his tear-stained face from his hands, and moans into the smoke. Well, well, and well, if it isnit Marion Gartman who has burned his last bacon rind. l19l