Sacramento City College - Pioneer Yearbook (Sacramento, CA)

Page 31 text:

The Year 2000 A. D.

Page 30 text:

Floating Campus for City’ ? or Grad Returns to Campus To Find Ocean Environment Life In by Ann Russell “NOW HEAR THIS!” the Dean booms over the inter-com. “Our campus policeman has asked me to announce that any hydro¬ planes left in a “No-floating” zone will be towed away by the Coast Guard.” “Wait!! What is this?? ALUM RETURNS This is the year 2000 A.D., and you, a City College student of 33 years ago, are being conducted on a grand tour of the new campus. As you are probably fully aware, our food supply is now being gleaned solely from the; sea. When the great earthquake of ’96 totally destroyed the SCC that you attended (complete with earthquake-proof buildings, ha ha), the Board of Trustees unanimously voted to construct the new campus directly in the mainstream of life: the Pacific Ocean. A huge, atomic-powered fan beneath this artifici al island cre¬ ates a squat column of water, causing the campus to rest approx¬ imately ten feet above sea level while still cushioned upon water. SEASIDE Because of the difference in locale and the increased number of students attending SCC, numerous changes have been made in curriculum, in counseling, in extracurricular activities, and even in that house of decadence known as the cafeteria. As you have probably read in the catalog you were given at the start of the tour, majors are now offered in deep-sea fishing, skin- diving, surfing, marine biology, and (you guessed it) underwater basket-weaving. The chemistry department concentrates on remov¬ ing salt from water, while life science majors are trying desperately to communicate with porpoises. “Student 276315, report to counselor 36 at once!” BY NUMBERS Oh yes—we are now completely computerized. Our faculty and students are addressed only by number. A televi¬ sion screen instructs the students, and IBM machines score all exams. Our machines contain all good human qualities, including ex¬ treme intelligence, and reject any poor qualities. Thus, our entire faculty is the best made. As we pass the counseling office, you may observe the cubicles containing advice machines for students with problems and pro¬ gramming computers for planning class schedules. The large, gold-colored machine is “Number One,” the Presi¬ dent. Our computer system is much faster than the old human¬ counseling system. HELP! KELP! The tall building on your left is the Marine Re¬ sources Consumption Plant; I believe you called it a cafeteria in your day. Of course, our cooks serve nothing but the best in kelp and other assorted algae and occasionally a soup of diatoms. Vending machines located in various sections of the campus dispense energy pills for those who do not have time for a leisurel y meal. The second floor of this building is a lounge for relaxation between classes. If it hadn’t been for your Student Union petitions, we would never have gotten it. We will return here for a cup of steamed sea- grass after the tour, and you may take a closer look at the “instant music” cartridges and at the fully automatic game tables. BIG POOL Now, as we go outside, we pass the men’s athletic field. This particular group is the skindiving class preparing to visit the bottom of the ocean, the campus swimming pool. The deep-sea fishing students over here are being given instruc¬ tion in baiting and reeling. Notice the magnetic personality of the mechanical instructor. There is none of the metallic monotone that computers of your day were so apt to have. The glass-domed edifice on the right is our science building. We are responsible for many advanced techniques in distillation of water and curing of algae forms. All equipment is run by solar power with atomic reserves for cloudy days. The generators are located in the physical science wing if you would care to explore further at the close of the tour. TONGUES In the Languages and Literature Division are taught the classical languages of French, Spanish, and German, as well as our modern tongues. We have courses in Early and Late Lunar Poetry and entire classes devoted to the older writers such as Ginsberg and Steinbeck. Our Social Science Department is completely up-to-date. History students learn of each revolution as it happens. BOAT CULTURE This is a portion of the parking lot—marina. The majority of our students drive hydroplanes, but a few of the more affluent ones have air cars, an invention brought about by Dick Tracy’s lunar friends. There is no real parking problem here; space is unlimited. Ex¬ tendable moving ramps carry students from car to class. FASHIONS To conclude our tour, you will be shown a few ex¬ amples of fashion on campus as exemplified by Student Government and Rally members. As we enter the Auditorium, which, by the way, has perfect accoustics, please take seats in the center section. Our first young man is wearing the red leotard and gold cape of Men’s Rally. His companion wears the uniform of Women’s Ral¬ ly: gold slacks with a red waistcoat and knee boots. The red helmets they are wearing bear antennae which receive messages from friends during ofT-hours and translate light im¬ pulses into English during class. Men on the executive council wear the traditional gold leotard, red cape, and black boots, while women are garbed in fiberglas mini-suits of red and gold. Our songsters and yell-leaders have adopted the new “mod” look—paisley patterns, wide utility belts and big-buckled boots. END TOUR Due to lack of time, we must now conclude our tour. You are free to explore the campus at your own speed. I hope you have enjoyed yourself. Thank you and good day. 28

Page 32 text:

Rahl Isn t Dead I Collegi MEN’S RALLY — Front: Bob Lang. Row one: Dave Gage, Scott Farley, John McCarthy, Jim Frost, Ernie Taylor, John Gra¬ ham. Row two: Dave Lehr, Tom Smith, Ron Berry, Cal Fong, Bill Waldron. Row three: Paul Book¬ er, Steve Chin, Jonas Minton. YELL LEADERS: head — Ron Fiorica (center); Mike Stevens, Tom Cathcart, Skip Forte, Floyd Kemper.