Rye Neck High School - Scraps Yearbook (Mamaroneck, NY)

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WHISKERS AND BALDNESS To the Maluaroneck Playhouse I jour- neyed one evening, not so very long ago, to see an exciting cowboy thriller, Ah! how llly heart beat with joy anew, as '1'0lll Mix first 0211110 into view. His head was crowned with a superabundance of lux- uriant hair, his face was as smooth and his colnplexion as clear as tllilt of any little scllool-girl. Truly, he lllllSt have used Palm Qlive. At tllat lllonlent, however, a large man entered and occupied the seat directly in front of IIIC. Instantly I was transported frolll a Plfilllll of boundless joy to the sordid, uninspiring realities of life. The man was bald, as bald as the llloon. The llllll light was reflected hy his head, and altllollgll it did not shine in llly eyes, I was decidedly llncolllfortahle hy the nearness of his hairless head. On second inspection, I noticed tllat he had a thick, stubby, black beard. Well nigll llllll0SSllDlC to sllave his face clean! 'Where hair was not desired, there it grew, where it was sorely needed, it obstillately refused to grow. The incongruity of it all almost sickened me. Wlly', I asked myself, ill this country of geniuses, is there no Illllll Wll0 can devise a rellledy for this palpable defect of male beauty. I, lnyself, can give no practical advice, bllt lllost likely there is someone in this wide, wide world, perhaps among you. wllo can change this sad state of affairs. My lll0St foolish advice is tllat Congress should pass a bill to come to the succor of the bald lllilll. It might read sollletlling like this: , To all lIlU.lC citizens of the United States alld Dependencies: After .Iuly lst, 1929, all men over 18 years of age will be required to Sll2lVC their heads, and let their beards grow to a lellgtll not less than one-half incll. The penalty for any infraction of this law is five years in jail, or ten thousand dollars fine, or both. Worse laws than this have already been passed, and therefore, 1 have not yet given up hope entirely. Ladies and gentlemen, please let it be known right here and now, that I aln not ridiculing the bald man. Far be it frolll me to do so. Only recently, a hair specialist informed lne to my great consternation, tllat I will be bald before I am 30 years of age. However, a ray of hope still shines in my troubled soul. A nledical man, of high stand- ing in this thriving community stated. after a thorough physical exalnination, that I will not live to be 25 years old. These words, as you can readily perceive, were a great re- lief to IDC. Before I close, I would like to say that I can now cheerfully pass on the happy news: The Good Lord always provides for his children. Alld, I Zllll please.l to say, it looks as though he has not forgotten ine. Lincoln Belluscio HOMES EVERYWHERE Everywhere one looks there SCCIIIS to be a new developlllent, fllll of houses ready for sale or rent. Soon they are filled and every- one is content, not only the people therein but also their free boarders. Free boarders? How and why? I see you are sllrprised, bllt stop for a lnolllent and consider! Hulnans aren't the only ones wllo require shelter and lodgings, tllink of all the inllabitants of the air and then the underworld. They, too, have their worries of llolnelife bllt when tlley have selected, just as people do, tlleir llolnes, tlley llllly be in the chimney,--QOh, no wonder our fireplace doesn't workj, or in the eaves,-fSo that was the noise the otller nightj or tlley lllay have moved to tllat lovely tree in the corner of the garden, and tlley are happy. Then, tllere are the insects. In the ground tlley find their ideal ll0!lll'- and we lllust not forget the frequent and llnwelconle visitor. the mouse. After all, once they're settled, what care tlley tllilt the tenant has to pay a montllly slllll to that grollchy-looking agent? I wonder would Mr. So and So lllind paying so much if he knew the shelter and happiness he gives to so many forgotten friends, for, even if tlley don't pay in molley, tlley are the ones wllo II12lliC life worth living witll tlleir IIlCI'l'y chatter. Helen Hay Page Twenty-two

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HIGH SCHOOL FACULTY THE GREAT AM'ERICAN DESERT' The sun beat with relentless pity on the shrivelling desert. Not a living thing was in sight. Our motor car chugged laboriously along as if that. too, were loathe to move undcr the heat of the midday sun. Far in the distance was a beautiful lake surrounded by glistening green palms-a mirage set there to lead weary travellers astray to die. The simmering heatwaves were ever be- fore us, stretching on all sides in an end- less expanse of sand, dotted with cacti and sagebrush that stood parched and motionless in the oppressive air. The sun slowly sank but still the hot sands reflected the fearful heat. A slight wind sprang up but it too was laden with uncom- fortable heat. The road began to rise upwards and the air became cooler. The vegetation took on a more lively hue. VVe had left the desert behind us. R. Hains NIAGARA FALLS A deep and ominious rumble was ushered slowly into our ears. Nearer and nearer, louder and louder the rumble became. The air was pleasantly moist and refresh- ingg and as we drew nearer to the source of the rumble, it became oddly damp. lVe turned a sharp corner and our ears were struck by the roar of tons of falling water. Hazy 'mists rose upward and re- flected the light of a thousand rainbows. Every tree was spangled with the glitter of millions of unset diamonds that danced and sparkled in the morning sun. Night-. The mysterious mists soaring upward were cut by flashing searchlights that flickered and flashed and swept across the sky in a blaze of brilliant reflection. Above all this beauty roared the great mass of water. It filled our heads with strange buzzings that were not missed until we had been many hours on our way. Robert Hains Page Twenty-0 ne

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HOOFBEATS The little town of Corteze lay serenely sleeping 'ncath the glittering stars of the desert sky. Two blinding flashes followed by shatter- ing roars smashed thc solitude. Two crashes roared back an answer. The clatter of horse's hoofs along the dusty road died away in the distance. A dusty cowboy sat gazing thoughtfully at a huge poster that reflected his bronzed countenance. His thoughtfulness was due. no doubt, to the inch tall letters, 3'l410,000 Re- ward Dead or Alive! He carelessly drew from l1is pocket the makins and rolled himself a cigarette. He smoked calmly for a few minutes more, and then with a defiant cluck to his horse sped down the dusty road with a clatter of hoofs growing fainter and fainter in the distance. With a price of 510,000 on his head he should have been careful, but he wasn't. He rode defiantly and carelessly into the quaint little town of Losenge, hitched his horse and ambled into the dingy saloon. His pli- able figure was resting nonchalantly against the bar when a heavy hand was placed on his shoulder, 11 silver badge flashed before his eyes and a gruff voice in his ear said, Got you at last eh. Bill?y' He swung about and went for l1is guns but it was too late. Don,t try to Billy, it ainit safe. Come on peaceful likef' Stripped of his weapons he could do nothing else. His careless freedom was being infringed upon by iron bars! He, the rider of the trail, a prisoner! Sunset. Two horses hitched to the rail before the sheriff's office. The sheriff from Corteze was ready to start back with Billy. The journey of eighty miles had begun. Billy was on his way to be tried. Twenty miles of the journey were covered before the sheriff decided to call a halt for the night. Camp was pitched, a fire built and coffee set to boil. Slipper over, the horses were tethered out and the men set themselves to sleep. That is the sheriff went to sleep, but Billy was planning for his escape! The sheriff slumbered on all unconscious of Billy's hand stealthily seeking the key to the handcuffs. At last, a tiny piece of metal, a subdued click, the manacle dropped from his wrist. He was free! He arose softly and drew on his pants and chaps. He crept slowly to the staked horses and threw the saddle over his own bay. Re- leasing the sheriff's animal he slapped it re- soundingly and watched it race down the level road. He went back and emptied the guns, appropriating two for himself and rode slowly off. He raised his voice, Hi sheriff, hi! The sheriff awoke with a start and saw a flashing figure pounding down the road, He swore softly. then shouted. but to his cars came back only the pounding of a h0rse's hoofs. Robert Hains OUR TEAM SCORES AGAIN By Harold Harriott It is the last moment of play And the game in progress Is very exciting indeed. Yea! Rah! Rah! Rickety-ax-c Shouts like these Permeate the tense atmosphere. o-ax ! Team! Team! and ever team! I cannot say which team Is playing harder. But it is only for the moment. One goal will end the battleg One mistake will cause a victory pause The ball is in the air, VVinging its way Toward our goal, Having left the Captain's hands Silence: Then One long cheer Resounds through the gymnasium And informs the spectator That one side Is exultant in victory. Which side? one asks. The answer Home Team! Is lost in the din. Hains: Look out for your balloon tires, mister. Motorist: VVhy, what's the matter? Hains: There's a fork in the road aheadf Page Twenty-three