Rutherford High School - Rutherfordian Yearbook (Rutherford, NJ)

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R-HI Page Two Braves' wner Announces First uadruple Header Alexander Keller, famous owner of the Milwaukee Braves, has just introduced the first quadruple header in baseball history. This move is intended to give more work to the head grounds keeper, Phil Sayah. Lately the team hasn't been doing so well, so the President has ac- quired star southpaw George Lefty Baisley, and swift outfielder, Neil Good- win. Since Neil has taken over the eenterfield position, a season's ticket in the centertield bleachers has been sold to Lois Ilekkcr. The Melrose Games of 1956 have just opened at the Garden. Starring in the meet are Al Fleetfoot Bernard in the mile and Bob Hoot Gibson in the 100 yard dash. In the high jump, Ted Conant is still attempting to break three feet. The javelin, shot put, and the discus are being taken care of by jackie llolc. Professor Relaxes After Hard Day. Noted Artist Displays Work. AROUND TOWN QContinued from page 13 race with Anne- Carroll on their respec- tive pogo sticks. As the hairdrier brigade looked on in admiration, Miss Wapples' hair turned successively pink, green, yellow, and violent purple. Major Surgery Performed Famous veterinarian David Goldfarb has just performed a miraculous oper- ation on his pet guppy, Mr, Grant . Assisting in the operation on its Gill Chamber Clibraryj was Dave's fiancee, Marion De Witt, who held the box of Kleenex. At Terry's Terrible Terrace, where the food is also . . . the famous team of Robinson and YVisloff are packing them in. At the Terrace last night were seen jean Van Leeuwen and Lucienne Smith but not for long. Dave Miesegas, head bouncer removed them from the prem- ises for being boy-sterousn. Tomorrow I'11 have a personal inter- view with that eminent psychiatrist and chiropractor, Dr. Carolyn Dusenbury. Band leader Anita Tarintino is suing disc jockey Ann Ford for refusing to play her latest recording, Pfffft on her evening show from 12 to 12:01 A.M. George Quinzer has just been awarded the Bob Skidmore memorial plaque for cowardice beyond the call of duty. This award is presented annually to the per- son who performs the most outstanding feat of the year. George got his when bravely and without thought of injury to himself, he rushed out of a burning building. From the Police Blotter Director of Motor Vehicles Lee Cur- cio has just pulled in an impressive ar- ray of violators in a huge smashup in- cluding Greasy', Rodgers, Rich Lo- Presti, Curcio, a former hot rodder him- self, has turned the cars over to ace repairman, John Palombi. Bob Murin, famous grocer, has just added to his growing chain of P 6: A stores. The Paris branch is headde by Albert Johann. Ca 0 V l Guys and Doll on the Town. Work Progresses on Our Yearbook. Seugoing Seniors.

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Foster Elected lst U. S. Woman President liurly Berls Blond oi Broadway Uritios Toby Winiarski of the Times, famous Broadway critic, said about the new musical comedy, At the Hudson, which opened at the Sarisky Theatre located in Nutzville, named after the famous violinist, George Nutz, Although it was a little early for Thanksgiving the actors presented the audience with a big turkey. Starring in this farce, directed by Bob Batson, financed by Ann Kohler, are Bubbles Ely, T, B. Mead and that popular man about girls, Danny Scales. Failure of the play was due to the presence of actors said columnist Barbara Rumple- tin. Said julia Postles, the first cus- tomer, The scenery was great but the actors got in the way. Ring Opens Rut Carl Ring, proprietor of Ringis Rut, has just acquired a new counterman, Bright eyes Cannavale. After an in- terval of one month they finally got a pair of customers in the persons of Den- nis Atkins and Adele Marsh. O., wound own With Head-a-Hair Tassey Barbara Natoli, renowned beauty stylist, has just announced that new, long, low Dachschund Look! This is being modeled by Barbara Doyle, noted socialite, at the Magri Arms, recently purchased from famous business woman, Francine Zollen. Portlirio Ed Szwed has just divorced his second wife, Eva Jeanne Hassert, in order to many his fourth wife, famous girl athlete, Anne Ball. Dave Waldron, ex-football star, and his wife, the fonner Beverly Mallett, need one more for a basketball team. At the ominous hour of twelve noon, tContinued on next column! Harvey Reports On Terrible Terrible It is rumored that an R.H.S. faculty member was poisoned after he fiendishly gulped down a Gigantic Terrible Terrible at the BCD Sweet Shop, one of the famous chains owned by Berkyta, Can- della, and Dunlop. He is in serious con- dition in the hospital due to a chemical reaction in the digestive tract. This con- dition was described after careful analysis by Dr. Alan Harvey, as extremely poi- sonous- to the circulatory system. Ac- cording to the analysis made by Harvey's assistants, Miriam Landishman and Ioan Dommeleers, the formula of the sub- stance is NH4CO3. His private nurse, Cecelia Monat, is doing all she canit for him. Polhos Signs Females Ted Polbos, recruiting officer of the Naval Reserve, has just signed up the first female contingent of the force, namely, Elaine jackson, Muriel Kieswet- ter, and Orinda Lotterle. This crack out- fit is commanded by Richard Rebele. policemen were summoned to Baker's Beauty Bar where they found NVanda Wapples in a state of suspended ani- mation hanging from a hairdrier. Look- ing on in horror were Carole Walker, in the process of having a mud pack, jill Vanderwende, prominent party- giver, and having a manicure, Kathy Ostermann, who has just won a drag tContinued on page 27 Picks Aides Charlotte Foster, well known woman politician, has just been elected Hrst woman president of the United States. Washington columnist Barbara Davis disclosed that the new cabinet members will be: Secretary of State-Ara Stephen Boyan, Ir., fonncr Daily News photog- rapher, Secretary of the Treasury-Herb Rosen, well known financier and owner of Ft. Knox who has already announced a cut in the budget. Carla Penny will be superintendent of the penny depart- ment, Farmer Charley Raymond-world renowned developer of a new breed ol cows which, if fed the proper constitu- ents, will yield beer. He has left behind his closest competitor, Carol Holsten breeder of the old, outmoded variety Secretary of Defense-Tom Waring, boy pugilist of note, Postmaster General - Karin Lindemann, former receiving oi males, with her able assistant, Dori: Lampert, Attomey General - Ed Gott lieb, from the famous fimi of Gottliel and Stutzman, well known for thei, famous prosecution of the famous case of Coo-per VS. janeceebuh, Health, Edu cation and Welfare-Sonja Schaefer, au thor of best-selling novel, Spinach ant You. Big Dope Trial, Sudol Before Jury On the docket for this moming's ses sions at the International Court of jus tice, Tom Sudol, the head of an intel nationally known dope ring, is being ar raigned on charges of dope peddling bg Stoolie Marlon Brando Brouillard, for mer featherweight champion. Also in volved are Gary Miller, secretary of th organization, and the assistant secretary Anna Carbone, and Slippery Cable, hear dope peddler. Another case on the agenda is Farou' Zaloom Vs. Hindu Sigretto on a charg of the harem stealing of Farouk's famou brides, Carol NVooliscroft, Dot Tyrrel and Zandra Vaka. Chief stable boy c the king, Gary Patemo has been vyin for the affection of one of the wive: They were transported on the hot camel of Bill Sargent which are equipped wit dual tails. Ed note-Drag a camel.

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