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Page 31 text:
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Page 32 text:
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gferg Wxlafffecy AROUND THE WORLD WITH YOUR FAVORITE COMMENTATOR, DON DEMPSTER JUNE l9, l958. Good Evening, Mr. and Mrs. America, let's go to press. FLASH! Lower Eastside, New York-The pawnshop owned and operated by Don Korwan burned to the ground despite the efforts of honorary fire chief Bill Little Flower Reubert, Firebugs rounded up by patrolman Allen Kroger included Lois Meyer, Lois Mier, and Wynn Goodhart. The crime was pinned on Goody who started the blaze by playing hot licks on his clarinet in Ted Dunker's still in the cellar of the building. Ted was rescued from the fire by women firemen Joan Burkhardt and Audrey Dobbs. Goody has been psychoanalyzed by Richard The Grin Hoheb who has also conferred with psychiatrists Tony Giordano and Norman Pulver. Hollywood-After the premiere of the Academy Award winner starring Nancy Schroe- der and George Place at Miles Kight's Ethiopean Emporium, Golden Boy's ears got stuck in the cement while leaving the imprints for posterity. Assisting in the rescue was Lena Flore, ticket taker. Humphrey Braun heads the squad of usherettes including Amelia Hertzel, Phyllis Linzel, Mary Ann Telson, Winifred Dusenbury, Betty Prince, and Carol Dinter. New York, Broadway-Back on the East coast Beargrease Roderick and his Crisco Five, Art Wedekind on the piano, Janice Van Buren on her glockenspiel, drummer boy Mat LoPresti, trombonist Cynthia Blakiston, and Hot Lips Mauger are now supplying music for Darryl S. Whipple's new Broadway show Low Buckled Saddles. Music and lyrics are by D'Oriano and Shipton. The cast features Eunice Thompson and Bob Royce in the romantic leads with Bob Werner and Audrey Korn supplying the comedy. The featured dancer is Helen Zorina Straub. J Pluto-In the world of science there has been great excitement. Last week scientists Burn's and Ferguson's rocket ship left the earth for Pluto, piloted by Grace Macan on a hunt- ing trip for the two-headed Aardvark. J The expedition included Hairy Harry Tucker, Dilly Sunbury, and Bring 'em Back Alive Worischeck. All they have found so far is Dick Cole poaching Grudnicks. Dick says, quote, they are almost as good as poached eggs. Lower Slobbovia-Mary Cable and Barbara Carrico, world travelers, are visiting Ein- stein DeMarrais where he has just performed the sensational feat of dehydrating elephants for which a practical use is being developed by George Snyder. . NOW TO THE WORLD OF SPORTS. g Santa Anita-Jockey Henry Verny riding Purple Crunch of Audrey Winand's Purple String Stables was nosed out at the finish by Clifford Crawbuck riding Silver Meteor, the only horse of Richard Schmatz's barn, a thousand to one shot. Bang! The only bet placed on this horse with bookies Bob Fetterly and Ron Baker was Tom Sullivan's, winning fifty thousand counterfeit dollars printed by Johnson and Johnson iBeanie and Bob, that isl. Los Angeles- Diamond Dave Lloyd and his moll Marmaduke Monahan have been indicted for fixing the game between Parkerton's A. C. and Derner's Dimwits at Trainor's Square Garden. Attorney for the state O. T. Bickner has taken over the case. Paterson-Over at Vincent's Heathcliff Stadium Charles Stoddard is breaking all speed records on Olga Gula's motorcycle, The Howling Wolf iJohn, that isl, Brooklyn-Tom Benedict today pitched a one hitter for the Giants against those bums from Brooklyn now under the management of Betsy The Lip Raiff. Montreal-Lynn Taylor has founded the first women's hockey team with Bob Margetts as the playing coach. Switzerland-The world's championship ladies' wrestling team of Millicent Maier, Betty Schneck, and Ellen Burke have been touring Europe since winning the Olympics two years ago. 28
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