Rutherford B Hayes High School - Delhi Yearbook (Delaware, OH)

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Alice's Adventures in Wanderland, or Through the Windshield ONCE'upon a time there was a little girl who attended Delaware High School. We ' 'forget her name, but we may call her Alice. One sunny day she went out for a ride in her car. She was an excellent driver for a girl, that is, she knew enough to keep her chewingfgum out of the carburetor-which marks the peak of feminine proficiency where autos are concerned. She drove along without mishap until she came to a steep hill. Tired of driving on the right-hand side of the road, she decided with her customary ingenuity to go up on the left. At the top, however, she was dismaiy-ed to perceive a large truck in- conveniently- situated in front of her. Nevertheless little Alice did not lose her presence of mind. She remarked brightly, The mean thing! and put her car into reverse. Andallofasuddenthingsbegantohappen- Alice found herself standing on a street corner, holding a lavenderftinted newspaper. She looked at the front page and saw the title Delaware Daily Gadget, Wm. Russell News Syndicate. Glancing over some of the headings, she was surprised to find many familiar names: Request for higher doorways bill by Mayor Moist, opposed by Max Brown, City Council chairman. UF. P. Minnelli, head of AntifSaloon League, speaks here. F. A. Norwood, prominent South American explorer bitten by amphidasys be' tularia-is expected to recover. Revival meeting will be given hy Alice Hyatt, well' known evangelist. Well, look who's here, said a voice behind her. She turned around and saw Betty Ropp. Oh, Betty, she cried, where am I? What date is it? Evenything seems mixed up. Poor girl, thought Betty. It was evidently a hopeless case. Why, she said sooth' ingly, This is May, l942. Alice grew pale at these words, but there seemed to be no help for it. Then she had an idea. Can you tell me what has become of the members of the D. H. S. Class of '32? she asked. Sure, replied Betty, Let's see, now. Fred Reider is ambassador to java: Carl Balser converts old Fords into clothes wringers and stove pipesg Sara Ann Garber is the star of a vanishing act in the show of Dale Main, the magician, Vic Weller teaches advanced mathematics: ,lim Bevan and Merle Law raise dehydrated grapefruit: and Bus Austin, the shoepolish king, is well known here and abroad. While Betty was talking, Alice had been looking at her newspaper. Can you tell me, Betty, she asked, why Bob Newcomb edits this paper in black and lavender That's because his newspapers are never entirely read, replied Betty. Now, where was I? Oh, -yes. Kathryn Chivington is a hopeless old maid, Margaret Anne Freshwater shoots anti' lions in Africa for the Smithsonian Institute, Betty Higley sings over the radio for Stegner's Soft Soap, with Polly Perley accompanying, Kathryn Beck, I am sorry to say, is a hostess at Monte Carlo: Harriet Worline translates Latin verse into Abyssinian: Dick Swearengin is a lecturerg Helen Laird is kept busy giving finger waves to bald headed meng Elton Woodbury, chief chemist for Goodyear, has perfected a process for making auto tires out of sawdust and club sandwiches, Smith Fry has the lead in his own latest play, Marion Hubbart is famous for being the only woman senator to smoke cigars: Violet Knight, the movie actress, is sueing for her eighth divorce: Miriam Rappe is making a Chinese-French dictionanyv for the Esquimeauxg Sam Roberts is professor of English Litera- ture at Harvard, Max Roland manufactures nonfinflammable safety matches, and Eddie O'Keefe is timekeeper for the American Turtle-racing Association. Suddenly there was a roar above them. Betty siezed Alice by the hand and started to run. There was a terrific crash behind them, whereupon they stopped. Don't be alarmed, said Betty, It's only Don Mackley trying out a new crashfproof plane. She dodged a piece of hurtling crankcase and went on with her recital. Paul Sell, Wayne Hilborn, and Bud Rybolt are professional football players for the St. Louis Cardinals. Bob Hartley is a radio crooner, but will probably quit if any more attempts are made on his life: Kathryn King teaches in a deaf and dumb asylum: and- Everything started to becorhe indistinct. Alice grabbed a telegraph pole but it turned into a stick. of macaroni and brokef Things became darker: then a voice said There, she's coming to. She opened her eyes. She was in a hospital room, judging from the white walls and appalling odors. This was altogether too much for her, so she went back to s eep.

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i lDELI'IIn'IQ5Z Arai Truth The universe is the supreme labyrinth, through which man gropes his painful way, ofttimes stumbling into blind cornersg yet, guided by the dim light along its tortuous corridors, ever progressing, steadfastly striving to attain its inner court, all the while not knowing whether he will find there the den of the Minotaur, or the Garden of Paradise Wood I want to be alone at night in a wood That spring has touched with softness. -Victor Davis Ina I want to see the storm clouds Brew far in the west and overawe me. I want to feel the fingers Of the wind tear through my hair. I want to see the lightning's Vivid flash, and feel the rain beat my brow. I want to race beneath the Stormfswept trees until I drop exhausted. Then will I find peaceg lltir Then will tormenting doubts and fears be driven from my soul. - he Of Cther Worlds S What is the color Of a midnight sky? Is it the royal purple of the Studded with celestial gems That kings can't buy? gods, Or is it the dull dark depths Of immeasurable space? Where the window lights Of all the homes of heaven Shine through drapes of lace ? rman Moist Or, mayhap, the glamour of a city street, Quite like the ones we know, With city lights and buildings tall, Where people meet, see other worlds, And wonder as they go. -Helen Laird