Rush Medical College - Pulse Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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Elppenoiciti Q5 tg? A . CJ ' X. Y , . rig g x AVE you got the new disorder? ,I-H., 1' ,Q 3 Ld If you haven't, 'tis in order ' Ji? To succumb tobit at once without delay. iw. It is called appendicitis, A Q ' .l? ' 9 2' Very different from gastritis, Q - ? Or the common trash diseases of the day. f' m ll - , . Q V--' X lt creates ahappy frolic, D l A l' Something like a Xllinter colic, ' , I That has often jarred our inner organs some. Q ., A Al. Only wrestles with the wealthv, l, F ' , ' 6 And otherwise most healthy- I-Iaving got it then, you'r'e nigh to kingdom come Midway down in your intestine, Its interstices infestin', ls a little alley, blind and dark as night, Leading off simply nowhere, C. 'h' atc ing all stray things that go there, As a pocket it is clearly out of sight. It is prone to stop and grapple VVith the seed of grape or apple, Or a soldier button swallowed with your pieg Having levied on these chattels, Then begin internal battles, That are apt to end in mansions in the sky. Once located, never doubt it, You would never be without itg lt's a fad among society that's gayg Old heart failure and paresis Have decamped and gone to pieces, And dyspepsia has fallen by the way. Then stand back there, diabetes, For here comes appendicitis. NVith a brood of minor troubles on the wing, So, vermiform, here's hoping You'll withstand all drastic doping, And earn the appellation, Uncrowned King! 99? A recent applicant before the Medical Examining Board of Texas was asked: What is histology? Histology is the history of medicine. ...TCW i ' What system of medicine do you practice? ff The Vanderbilt and St. Louis systems, and some- times the homeopathic system. , 1 What is the homeopathic system, as vou call it? 'V Sweatin' the patient. J 2 I Ag - . fl -- lr . x He got his diploma. in 5-'39

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1In the Ilbebical ollege Now everything is ready, Fun will soon begin, Here on the slab before us Lies what a maid has been. Hut she's no longer pretty! Her teeth have fallen out, Leaving thus the matter of Her age somewhat in doubt. Her face has lost the freshness Of maidenhood and youth: Her skin is not quite pearly, To tell the 4'naked truthg Her form is not exactly XYhat might be called divine, And to raptures o'er her bosom No poet would incline. Now our gaze is fastened Upon her skulless head, And we are moved to wonder How long she has been dead. Lots of lungs and livers, Heaps ot heads and hearts, llecaying human members ln several sundry parts. Heavens! let me quickly Give my cigar a whiff! Bless me, this is pleasant, Slicing up a stiff! Dissecting room in college, Eighteen Hights of stairs: 8 Seventy tiendish medics XYorking all in pairs. Oversleeves and apron, Carbolic acid, grease, Little knives and tweezers, A pipe or so apiece. Sure no right minded mortal XVould ever dare surmise He'd have so much of Latin Left in him when he dies. No wonder that the maiden Blade up her mind to die, lf l thought I had all those thing Great Ctesarl so would l. 'Tis well the soul's immortal And leaves this house of clay, For wouldn't it be pleasant To hear some medic say, As he takes a pair of tweezers And holds it up to view, 'XVe may observe quite plainly The soul is split in twog Our friend here who possessed it S Now a blooming medic XV1th scalpel and a hook, Commences while another Reads to him from a book. Cuts the epidermis, Takes a careful look, Other medic quickly Names it from the book. Slices out a muscle, Fishes out a vein, Finds a piece of tendon, Applies a Latin name. Lignum vitae major, Tyrannis semper sic, Non compos mentis minor, Habeas corpus hic, Prehensile os femoris, Posterior eonjuuct, Ad libitum superbus, Anterior defunct. VVas a mugwump, we can bet, Or perhaps was fond of smoking The cubeb cigarette ? No, some few things are sacred From investigations gaze: 4 i - They may slice and slash our carcass, N kip But our soul they cannot phase. ,Ii ,ig lib Oh! bless the blooming medics, ff' fi '. ' lf , They will cure us of our ills, ,, X- -. 'K , They'll till us full of physic, qfl ' , Sq They'll till us full of pills: Y 1 fffxf , , They'll saw our little legs off, j i,,w'l' Q' ,i They'll bandage up our head: '-Nxt 7' Thev'll cure us while we're living, - N They'll carve us when we're dead. im Lots of lungs and livers, Heaps of heads and hearts, llecaying human members, ln several sundry pa1'ts. Heavens! let me quickly Give my cigar a whifff Bless me, this is pleasant Slicing up a stitf! 240