Rush Medical College - Pulse Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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Boing the JBest that 1It can A f Q A 'I In 4 lei O-73' lf? at 6a 11 if N' ' 5 f'f ,H 9 1, dl? 1' ' 1+ 551- 9 Wat we AY up on the Perch, with wits all asearch, Sits the emptiest head of the class: His thoughts may be few, for the subject is new, And Dame Nature has placed his gray matter aslcew. Of grit he has much, of culture but fewg But let him alone as you pass, Hes doing the best that he can. Down a side street is a small cottage neat, A widow and young children three, XVho are making their bread and shelter o'er head By starving some students and calling them fedg But pay up your board bill and don't try to dead- Head your way through the world, for you see Shes doing the best that she can. And so let it be, whenever you see An article doing its best, VVhether snake, brake or cancer, boil, ague or man, sir, A saint with a halo, an opera dancer, XYith very few garments perhaps to enhance her, Let it quietly stay with the rest, If it's doing the best that it can.- NANNY. 3' DR. LixNELLsaXYl1at two kinds of matter do we have in the cord? AICIQENNA, '95-Gray matter and Dura-Mater. 5 The Nu Sigma Nu members held an initiation and spread one evening recently, From appear- ances next day, we judge that the goat came out ahead. 9 MONTGOMERY-Have you been vaccinated, madame? lvl.-XDAME-I have, sir. BIONT.-LCt me see the scar. NIAD. Qwho is large and Heshyj-I can't roll up my sleeve. MONT.--Wfell, you will have to take off your dress. MfXD.-QHCSlt3tlI1g,l MONT.-Oh, you needn't mind me, I am a married man. MAD.4If you weren't married, I wouldn't mind showing you. Exit Montgomery. Place, 12th street, time, summer vacation. 334

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Stages As a surgeon's clerk I find, That they underrate my mind, Though I show my dressers what they make mistakes ing So my ardor soon expires, And I seek the smoke-room fires, Unless we get the very best of takes-in. XYhen Medicine is my quest, And the mysteries ofthe chest, To reach a right conclusion oft is trying, But if not certain quite, Cf a diagnosis right, Perhaps am aided by the patient kindly dying. Now my forte will always be In the art of Surgery, Of my skill in that there can be no denying. First I use my eyes with care, Then my fingers bring to bear, Last my tongue, for fear the patient may be lying. At length a longed degree, Entitles to a fee, Though a practice takes for most a deal of making: Still if knowledge is my friend, 'Twill be all right in the end: But if not, 'twill be a long-continued take-in. F PEGRAM says his coat has acquired a peculiar odor for which he cannot account. He isn't sure but some of those little dark animals may have taken a shot at him. Freshman BANKs, fafter Prof. B. had cor- rectly stated the explanationj- just what I meant, Professor, but I couldn't say it. -Q lol? 5' Professor IWIAINES was absent from the city for some days in giving expert testimony in the Graves murder trial in Denver, Col. A few days after his return he announced to the class that he must go away again on account of another trial at Cleveland. He explained that he could not tell when he would return, for in law, as in love, courting was so uncertain. 233

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Dr. JAY, who so bravely charged the raging feline at one of Prof, SENN's clinics, and tri- umphantly brought it back to the operating ta- ble, was observed to shed tears when the poor animalls abdomen was ripped open Qscientiiic- ally and for the benefit of science, of Coursey, and mournfully observed to his friend Dr,Shaw, That only goes to show--, but tears choked his further utterance. Have you obserxed bLAxcHARns ulnslxeis? He cut them off. He sawed them off. He pulled them off. She chewed them off. He singed them off. He swore them off. And still his whiskers grew. Prof. COTTON aptly explains the action of quinine on the white blood corpuscles in the following terse expression: Quinine arrests the amoeboid motion of the lumbering leuccocytes loafmg around the red blood corpuscles. O. M.- What is the effect of too much food P HENDERSGN-K' Distention of the abdomen, sir. INs'rRUcToR- What would be the effect of attempting to pass too large a dilator to over- come stricture of esophagus? S1'UDENTl VOmlIlIlg.i' INSTRUCTOR4 No, that is not quite right. Coachus: Death, Funeral, Post Mortemf' Malpractice suit, Shoving clouds, A va- cant chair, Expert testimony. And ngf diagnosis is tuberculosis. -BREN- NER. Dr. NIELLISH.-'K Mr. Hobbs, describe the hip joint. FREsHMAN H.- I didn't study any further than the left hand. Dr. M.A Describe the shoulder, then. F. H.- I began at the elbow, doctorfl 235