Rush Medical College - Pulse Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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Stages As a surgeon's clerk I find, That they underrate my mind, Though I show my dressers what they make mistakes ing So my ardor soon expires, And I seek the smoke-room fires, Unless we get the very best of takes-in. XYhen Medicine is my quest, And the mysteries ofthe chest, To reach a right conclusion oft is trying, But if not certain quite, Cf a diagnosis right, Perhaps am aided by the patient kindly dying. Now my forte will always be In the art of Surgery, Of my skill in that there can be no denying. First I use my eyes with care, Then my fingers bring to bear, Last my tongue, for fear the patient may be lying. At length a longed degree, Entitles to a fee, Though a practice takes for most a deal of making: Still if knowledge is my friend, 'Twill be all right in the end: But if not, 'twill be a long-continued take-in. F PEGRAM says his coat has acquired a peculiar odor for which he cannot account. He isn't sure but some of those little dark animals may have taken a shot at him. Freshman BANKs, fafter Prof. B. had cor- rectly stated the explanationj- just what I meant, Professor, but I couldn't say it. -Q lol? 5' Professor IWIAINES was absent from the city for some days in giving expert testimony in the Graves murder trial in Denver, Col. A few days after his return he announced to the class that he must go away again on account of another trial at Cleveland. He explained that he could not tell when he would return, for in law, as in love, courting was so uncertain. 233

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B 1beart Jfailuren Gtri gpfo 1 F is 'lWCLaLTg'zoa9V I W yr-1.1 I QL. E EL ' Vfe E shuffled along the scaffold walk, E It Nor heeded the dizzylheight, 2 o R l Q Then having dumped his mortar. out. g E .xvjfg f gf He turned and passed to the right. PM 0 I Ile stumbled f grasped to save himself, gill ,, 'gg His downward course to checkg He dropped about a hundred feet. ' And lit upon his neck. VVt'i f' Did he die? Yes. Dislocated neolq? 234,-gg Ko. Heart failure. Q 052 Ugllfd He skated on the river's ice. The night was crisp and clear, ,gig The city being so close at hand, There were no wolves to fear. - Cn, on he sped with lightning speed. The town more distant grew, A hole - a splash - a gurgle, and He disappeared from view. Did he die? Yes. Drowned? No. Heart failure. He loved his Nell for many years, He loved her hard and well, But never had the courage his Affection strange to tell. He nerved himself at last one night, As by her side he sat: He only got as far as Nell. Then asked, XYhere was I at ? Paralyzed? No. Heart failure. W W They were sitting in the carriage, VVaiting for their chaperone- No, Charles, that goes for tapping shoes Oh, give me just one little kiss Or pressing trousers straight, While waiting here alone. But we draw the line distinctly At these 'frzksfs while you wait. ' 232

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Boing the JBest that 1It can A f Q A 'I In 4 lei O-73' lf? at 6a 11 if N' ' 5 f'f ,H 9 1, dl? 1' ' 1+ 551- 9 Wat we AY up on the Perch, with wits all asearch, Sits the emptiest head of the class: His thoughts may be few, for the subject is new, And Dame Nature has placed his gray matter aslcew. Of grit he has much, of culture but fewg But let him alone as you pass, Hes doing the best that he can. Down a side street is a small cottage neat, A widow and young children three, XVho are making their bread and shelter o'er head By starving some students and calling them fedg But pay up your board bill and don't try to dead- Head your way through the world, for you see Shes doing the best that she can. And so let it be, whenever you see An article doing its best, VVhether snake, brake or cancer, boil, ague or man, sir, A saint with a halo, an opera dancer, XYith very few garments perhaps to enhance her, Let it quietly stay with the rest, If it's doing the best that it can.- NANNY. 3' DR. LixNELLsaXYl1at two kinds of matter do we have in the cord? AICIQENNA, '95-Gray matter and Dura-Mater. 5 The Nu Sigma Nu members held an initiation and spread one evening recently, From appear- ances next day, we judge that the goat came out ahead. 9 MONTGOMERY-Have you been vaccinated, madame? lvl.-XDAME-I have, sir. BIONT.-LCt me see the scar. NIAD. Qwho is large and Heshyj-I can't roll up my sleeve. MONT.--Wfell, you will have to take off your dress. MfXD.-QHCSlt3tlI1g,l MONT.-Oh, you needn't mind me, I am a married man. MAD.4If you weren't married, I wouldn't mind showing you. Exit Montgomery. Place, 12th street, time, summer vacation. 334