Rush Medical College - Pulse Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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:of matriculation and general tickets for RUsH and- those odious sealed envelopes. I added a tear or two to the boil and hurried after the old man, who was restlessly awaiting me. Hut another rock, still greater than the one before we stood. The old gentleman, sticking his torch in a crevice of the rock and turning to me, said, Behold this adamantine rock. Behind it is concealed the future 'of your class. To thee alone it shall be revealed if you but write the things just as you see them, and then if your class-mates fain would let their angry passions rise, reason with them saying, 'Keep your tunics on, for whom the Faculty destroy they first make mad.' Now he did make the passage as before and the massive rock parted, and as I gazed with exophthalmic eyes through 'the hssure that was made, I saw even these things that I now give unto you. Now it came to pass as I gazed through the crevice that there did appear before mine eyes a sign-board fifteen cubits wide and thirty cubits long, and VV1'lttClI thereon with a red pigment were these words that all might read, MCH.-XS. D. CENTER, Manicure and Chiropodistf' and as I gazed upon this sign behold there did appear this man,and lifting up his voice said unto me: Lo, these many years have I toiled and tried to be professional, but my purse waxed not fat, neither did anything stick to my ribs: but now I have changed, and .shekels in great abundance are mine and likewise houses and lands. The next scene that appeared was at a patients bedside,and there I did behold one IQEITH fcomnionly known as Stock Yards XYillieJ. A large rope he held in his nerveless fingers. Un his face were signs of supreme agony. The patient was growing paler and paler, she was evidently bleeding to death and IXIEITI-I seemed powerlessto preventit. Iventured to ask him why he tarried thus, and he said in tones so weak as to be scarcely understood, Forsooth, I have forgotten where the post-partum artery doth reside, for I fain would tie it: but now, alas, she hath perished and I alone am the cause of it. I was about to ask him if he remembered of having ever heard while at RL'sH of COINIDVCSS- ing the aorta. But another slide was now put in. This one was down in Posey county, where the paw-paws grow and the grasshopper becomes a burden. It was a typical farm-yard scene such as Eggleston describes, and seated in the midst thereof and on an averted basket was NOAH THOMPSON, apparently happy and contented. He was busily engaged in trying to find out how much back salary was due him from the Big 4 railroad, and would occasionally take time enough to look up and rebuke one of the many small dirty-faced children that were playing around, that re- sembled him considerably and were very prone to do evil. How changed, thought I, and yet another beautiful example of the eternal fitness of things. I could not help but shed a tear, for he was once my room- mate, and as I gazed with tear-stained eyes on the picture now fast disappear- ing, behold there carne to View a scene of different nature. It was on the north side. There was a mammoth building with a sign- .board of large dimensions which read, XV1Nm1UELLER 8 Bocies Summer Garden. Performance .now going on. I, of course, stepped inside. The .Hrst one I met was IZMIL. His body large and encumbered with flesh, his face zo7

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that it was a torch of pine knot that a form all bent and tottering carried in his withered hand. He was old, yea, very old, his hoary locks did fall in great abundance from his temples, now so hollow, until anastomosing with a beard, still more white, almost concealed his face. He came upon me. He must have known of my presence, for there was no surprise when he beheld me. Now it came to pass that as he gazed upon me he did draw himself up to the full stature of manhood, and placing his thumbs in the axillary spaces of his toga, viewed me in the most oppressive way, and having gazed did shake his head and say in tones most sarcastic : So you indeed are he whom the class of '94 hast sent to me that their future might be revealed. It behooves me to say that I am in truth surprised and disappointed. Suffer me, I pray thee, to see thy credentials. Thereupon with trembling I did hand him a letter that our worthy president had given unto me as I set forth upon my journey. He read it in silence and having finished it said, Very well. First I will tell you who I am. My name is Future. The past I know not of. The present lasteth but a moment. XVhile I, Future, contain all the probabilities and possibilities of the destinies of men. I live only in the things that are to come. This portion of the earth and the fullness thereof is mine, and in it are all these things contained you shall to-night, if eyes and ears you use, a lesson learn that will abide within your memory so long as the Nile runneth to the sea and the soil of the Sahara is athirst. Follow me and e'en these things shall be shown unto you, and girding up his loins he led the way. And it came to pass after we had journeyed over fallen trees and briers that did scratch and e'en forsooth tear my raiment, that we at length did come before a cavern large and still and even blacker than the Stygian darkness round about us, set between two boulders, large and awful in their greatness. Bats and winged animals,the like of which I ne'er had seen, did Hy against the light and made it to Hicker e'en more than before. I was in sooth sore stricken and sick at heart,and methought: Verily, I have bitten off more than I can chew,and peradventure some accident will be- fall me. Suffer me, I pray thee, to depart and forbid me not. But he only laughed and mocked my cowardice. Seeing that it availed me naught, I straightway took my hypode1'mic out and did inject a sixtieth of strychnine into my arm e'en unto the deeper tissues. I-Ie then moved calmly forwards I followed, but not with eagerness. On and on and still downward we did go towards the very center of the earth, The air coming from Plutos' sulphurous realm was thick and stifling, but that strychnia was getting in its work, and nothing daunted I followed. At length we suddenly stopped, a large rock did block our way. He made a few passes strange and Hermannlike, and the gigantic boulder was rolled away, and there before me did appear a sight that only Dante and myself have ever seen. A caldron huge and dirly sputtered and tried to boil over a sickly Ere. I .stepped forward and peered in, and there in shapeless confusion did I see bits 206

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like unto a full moon. I-Ie took me into the concert hall, and there I saw a large multitude of ourclass-mates seated in small groups around the tables, and drinking a peculiar liquid of an amber hue, on the top of which a white foam like unto that made by barbers. VVhile listening in horror at their jabberings and comments on the merits of each respective star as he appeared, one Von Bismarck stepped upon the stage. After the applause had died out he took a cough drop and sang with wonderful pathos and feeling that beautiful ballad, written by himself, entitled, I am the man who won the Brainard prize. The emphasis on the fwas particularly noticeable. XVe then did go outside into the barroom. EMIL said there is another of our class-mates here perhaps you would like to see him, and taking me to the box-office I saw XV. I.. THOMPSON selling seats. XVINDY said, You see he was such a good man with seats that we could not get along without him. He then showed me some large oil paintings of his friends. One par- ticularly do I remember, it was that of EADEs. All it needed was a wind machine fastened to it to make it as natural as life. This, he said, I value most highly, for he was my dearest friend. VVe now went outside the building and EMIL called my attention to two old men sitting on the pavement asking alms of passersby. Do you see those fellows there P said he, They are BEST and 18,-XKER. They exhausted all of their nerve while at RUSH and have been total wrecks ever since. Metliought, The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly line. I bade XViNnMtuf:LI.ER a hasty adieu and started down the street, and as I strolled along whom should I meet but our own sweet TARSI. I-Ie said in tones convincing that he now did hold a chair in RUsH. I plucked my button from my coat and cast it from me 5 but when he told me that this chair he fain did hold was in the coal department,I did compose myself, for RL'sH was saved and we might again rejoice. Now it came to pass as Italked with TARSI that sweet strains of XYagnerian music did fall upon my ear, and as I listened,behold the vibrations did increase, until at length there did come upon the scene one DE VERE, the mighty man from Montana, his whiskers being tossed by the festive breeze, that seemingly did enjoy its gambols with his hirsutes. At last methought those whiskers are of some avail. The next I saw was our most worthy Ex-Com., and even now I did perceive that they had on a beautiful and picturesque jag, and when I did inquire the cause of this undue hilarity, one NicHoLs, nicknamed the Short, then did say, Hen so, we got our names on the invitations and now we do rejoice. There now did appear a store on Clark street, and over the entrance thereto hung three golden balls, and still above these were the words, CoLLiNs X Dowxiiv, Loan Brokers. Then did I see Wllisrox Cthat pretty creature not made for profane hands to touchj lecturing at the XVoman's Medical College. He was telling the young creatures where the duct of the spleen did empty, whereupon one ancient maid did swoon and faint away, and was regaled to the outer air until she did revive. 2o8