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Page 199 text:
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Freshmen Require Pearls of Wisdom I f you are a freshman, you know how it feels for everyone to treat you like a low-life. But do you know how to fight back? When someone says something disgusting about you to your face, can you say something ingenius back that will make them turn several shades of purple? If not, here are some come- backs freshmen can use when made fun of: 1. When ridiculed about your clothes: Well, at least I wear Fruit of the Loom underwear and not some lunkyard re- lects! 2. When informed that you are a typical freshman, ask, Are you the leading au- thority on freshmen? You guess so? Well, for your information, I ' m an au- thority on the Webster ' s Dictionary, and you fit the definition of ' jerk ' exactly. 3. When someone inquires, Are you really a freshman, inquire back, Are you writing a book? You are? Well, leave this chapter out and make it a mystery. Remember, freshmen, if someone ever tries to cut you down so low you could get run over by a shopping cart, just whip out this list of quips and lay one of these pearls of wisdom on him. He ' ll feel so molded it ' ll probably be a long time before he even tries to cut down a fly, let alone you. ' A ' 1. Lisa Core and Linda Blaney discuss Freshmen putdowns over lunch. 2. Maria Ocequera ex- presses her thoughts on homework to friends Lupe Rodriguez and Teresa Rodriquez. 3. What did you say? remarks Kathy Liles and Shawn Wonta to lunch time friends. 195
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Page 198 text:
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Wolker, Frederick I V We ' re the Kid: s of America
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