Roosevelt Military Academy - Rough Rider Yearbook (Aledo, IL)

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f + f f f f Class Prophecies It was a bright sunshiny morning in June, 1982, when I boarded my V-8 rocket ship at the LaGuardia Airport in New York City. As I rocketed toward London, I turned to my companion, and former classmate, Robert Spruce, M.D., the eminent authority on housemaid's knee, to inquire how many of our fellow graduates were to be present at our first class re- union. The reunion to which we were speeding was being held at the home of Stuart Davis fR.M.A. '42J who had passed through a series of loop- holes to become the groom of the youngest daughter of King George V. Since the winning of World War III, the restriction against royalty marrying with commoners was eliminated. After forty-three minutes of flight ftwo minutes more than it took me last timej we sighted Ferrin's Factory of Faultless Firearms which is at Fairfax, three minutes from London. While landing at the Municipal Rocketport in London, Dr. Spruce told me that Ferrin with his partner, Deadeye Dickie Handel, had made a fortune during the war between Ireland and the Canary Islands. By this time our ship had come to a rest and we beheld a welcoming com- mittee composed of our hosts, Duke Davis, accompanied by his blushing, but beautiful bride fof 605. Included in the group also was Lt. Com- mander Wm. Settles, U.S.N.A.F., who had been grounded in England while making a non-stop flight from Oregon, Illinois, to Ethiopia. His plane had been forced down on the dairy farm of Bert Schirmann, also a member of the group. Schirmann, who was inspired by the reading of Burns, had adopted a back to the soil policy and at the time was living on his wife's income. We were taken to the royal limousine where none other than the royal chauffeur, John Hlavaty, drove us to Buckingham Palace behind a motorcycle escort headed by James Ward and Monroe Bogoff on their 1917 Harley-Davidson. When we arrived at the palace we were informed that all the members of the class of '42 who were present would be at dinner that evening in the royal dining room. In the mean- time, we were free to do what we wished. The dinner bell rang at six- thirty but I was delayed and arrived in the lounge after the group had gathered. As I descended the stairway, I was attracted by a distinguished looking gentleman leaning in a nonchalant manner against the mantle. A second glance told me that it could be none other than Percival Woods- ley, known in '42 as Kong Winters. I had already heard of his inter- national reputation as an interpreter of Shakespeare and our host had informed me that we were to see him as Hamlet that evening. There was no time for greetings as we were immediately ushered into the dining room. Fifty-seven

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XVNHH, .I:1c'ks1m, 'I-lowell, Cunt. C,l'tlTli-'WPI Helping Uncle Sam The boys of G Company have done much to further Uncle SE11'l'1'S drive for de- fense funds. Though it not be of great quantity, every lit,- tle bit counts and these youngsters. through t h e ir purchases of defense stamps, have shown a true American spirit. Sometimes it hurts to give up it would-be candy bar in order to buy stamps, but no matter how small their pay may be. there is always enough somewhere to help our nation in the greatest task it has ever undertaken. i' McAhoy, Bnlzer F.. XVynn. Howell. J:-lckson, Levin. .Hoff- mun E., Dempsey, Ruse-nlmuzn VV.. Bonfleld. Kuhn, Gorden, Hunter, Neuhaus, Shogren, and Johnson D.

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Class Prophecies 4 4 4 4 4 4 Gathered around the festive board were nineteen of the twenty-two graduates of our class. Those unable to come were: Davis G., who had been injured while exercising Whirlaway CXIHJ g Lewis, who had become a well-known evangelist, was unable to leave his mission for down and outers on South State street in Chicago, and Jack Breskow, who had written that his second-hand furniture store on Maxwell street had burned to the ground and he was unable to get away. Jack Arnold was chosen to call on each of those present for a resume of his life since leaving R.M.A. He began by telling that he had established a home for indigent and run- away boys. Uncle Jack, as he was affectionately known, called on the debonair John Curttright who confessed that he was a professional gigolo and was at the present employed by Mrs. J. P. Morgan II. Mr. Leroy Pellegrini was next called to climb off the telephone directories on which he was sitting to tell of his experiences as American Ambassador to Italy. Donald Morgan, who was now a prominent criminal lawyer informed us that he was now engaged with his own suit against the City of Chicago for damages resulting from the city building the sidewalks too close to his knees. The next to take the floor was Jack Teagarden's protegee, Jack Symmes. He attributed his success to the position he held in Chicago at a home for the deaf and dumb teaching the slip horn. His interna- tionally famous band of over half a hundred Chicagoans was on hand to play after-dinner music. The walls of the spacious dining room in which we were dining were decorated with specimens mounted in a unique and original manner which were pointed to with pride by Taxidermist Minard when he addressed the group. The choicest of these specimens was a rare albino Mole , which Minard had captured during his latest expedition in his backyard. Dr. P. P. Myhand was next presented to the group as the greatest living exponent of surrealism. His most recent and most famous painting entitled, Telephone Poles Don't Talk or . . . Whaahl had just been pre- sented at the famous Parson's Parisian Museum. Mr. Parsons, the great art connoiseur, had taken up this work as a hobby after being permanently disabled by a blow of a ping-pong paddle at Paduka Preparatory Poly- technic on the Potomac in Potawatame, Pennsylvania. At this point, I found it necessary to excuse myself from our class reunion, and after making plans to hold a similar meeting in five years, I boarded my rocket ship for a return trip to New York, where I was scheduled to attend a directors' meeting of my newest enterprise, the Drury Safety Pin Company. Fifty-eight