Rochester High School - Rochord Yearbook (Rochester, MN)

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GET RICH QUICK By William Schacht, ,SO Almost everybody has heard of some get rich quick scheme. Maybe you have been a sticker yourself. If you have, you are 11ot the only one. For every day some smart and clever salesman is out trying to sell some Uhuml' stock, and every day some per- son is falling and thinking himself lucky to get in on such a money making proposition. There are the old gold brick plan, bum oil well stock, gold mines out on the plains of Abraham, the plan to drain the Pacific and get Captain Kidd's sunken treasures, and selling land under the sea down in Flor- ida. You have heard of all these, but here is something new. The pamphlets of a new company are just out. The Cat-Rat Com- pany addresses you in this way. Very dear friend: W'e want you to know that this billion dollar making proposition is offered to only one in your community. You are the lucky one. XVe chose you because President Hoover, who is a very heavy stockholder in our corporation, recommended you to us. He said that you were a personal friend of his and that he wanted you to get in on the money. Even if Henry Ford lived in your community, you would be the only one of- fered this opportunity. Don't read one word further unless you are interested in yachting on the South Seas, wintering down in Florida, and light- ing your cigars with one hundred dollar bills, for those are but a few of the pleasures you will be experiencing in less than a year after your investment. But you want to know how you are going to make all this money. All right, here is the plan with the following slogan:- Rats make catsg Cats make rats, Cats and rats make money for you. On the outskirts of Reno we have se- lected a beautiful piece of desert land. Here we will have our pens. It will cost us nothing, since no one owns it, and no one uses it. First we will stock our farm with rats and mice. This will be very simple because everybody will be glad to get rid of their old rats and will send them to us joyfully. Again the cost will be nothing. Now it is a well known fact that cats eat rats, and that cats are attracted to rats by their odor, so the supplying of cats will be simple. The cats will be attracted from all parts of the world to our farm by the odor of the rats. XX'hen they arrive we will place them in pens, the cost is still nothing. When we have the cats nice and fat from the meat of the rats, we will kill them and sell their lovely furs for enormous sums. They are now selling for 39998, but we will have a monopoly and will be able to raise the priee up to S100 per hide. How are we going to feed the rats? That's simple. Vile will feed them the dead eats. The cost is still nothing. Now we have a block of 5000 shares saved for you. XYe want to pay you 1,00--H Of course I know you would like to hear more about the proposition, but I lost the rest of the pamphlet. Sorry. .,R.... MAN'S GIFT TO BEAUTY Magic-the melody that ripples from in- spired fingers! A soft low murmuring like the sea at sunset, Or high and shrill, the north wind's bluster- ing echo. Sweet, whispering lullabies that linger gently Within one's consciousness. Plaintive, sad melodies from gypsy campiires, Proud, stirring marches that make feet impatient. Vvho can forget the swelling deep re-echo- ing of the organ's voice- The breathless whispering of silvery harp- strings- Or the clear sweetness of the clarinet or flute- Sharp, searching notes of master Violinsg the wild reply Of thousands of band instruments? Music Makes life an interesting adventure. -Haizel Olson, '31 Page Nine

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AUTOBICGRAPHY OF A KITTEN By James Punderson, ,33 Purr! Purr! Purr! NVhat a nice, com- fortable sound, I thought as I pawed and scrambled my way out of a tangle of hot, furry bodies. Dear me, continued my mother's soft voice. I shall have a task training so many new kittens. Vlihat a fine lot they are-the best I ever had. I am glad the chauffeur made us such a cozy nest, here in this box in the garage. It is still cold and snowy outside, but my babies will be warm. I hope that dog Jack won't bother us. Purr. Ouch, I wailed as I gave a lurch and hit my head on the side ot the box. My mother gently pushed me back with my brothers where I had my first breakfast and went to sleep. XYe were all blind for several days, but I was the first to get my eyes open. I shall never forget the first glimpse I had of Jack, the dog. He stuck his big, brown headin- to the box and sniffed at us. F-f-f-ft! Ffffff! Vlfe turned into hissing, little spithres when we saw him. jack only grinned because he knew mother was gone. just then mother ilew in like a streak of lightning and landed on Mr. jack's head with every claw. jump- ing cat-tails! How that dog did howl! I donit wish to brag, but I am the clever- est kitten of the whole bunch, you know. I was first to get my eyes open, nrst to get out of the box, hrst to learn to purr, and I'm going to be first to-catch-my-own-tail. There! I almost had it that time! I had an adventure yesterday. I slipped out of the garage and raced across the gar- den. I was having a line time when a little girl swooped down on me and caught me by the tail. She carried me into the house. Her mother gave me a saucer of warm milk and showed her how to carry me properly. I was certainly glad that I was smart enough to purr for them. I'm going again tomorrow if-Did you see that tail wiggle? Excuse me, please. I'1l-get-it-yet! HOW I WRITE A THEME By Gordon Fawcett, '31 My troubles were over. The only home work I had left to do was to write a theme. Desirous of seeing my work in the Rochet , I decided to take great pains and care with this theme. just as I was on the verge of snatching a dandy title out of the air, some one had to turn the radio on. And according to human nature, I started to berate that some one, who happened to be my sister. No sooner had I begun to do so, however, than I re- ceived a lecture from my father on the pro- per respects due one's sister. After this half hour's interruption, I had started to begin again, when I was disturb- Paye Eight ed by my younger brother's pleas to help him with a hard arithmetic problem. Grouchily, I assented. I had no more than completed this task when I was sent out to the store for some aspirin. After I had hur- ried back, I again prepared to write my theme. Sitting there, sucking the end of my pen and gazing at the ceiling, I endeavored in vain to think of a title. And then the door bell rang. Enraged, I got up to answer it. Alas! it was my chum who wanted to take me for a ride. Promising myself to get that theme during study hour the next morning, I grabbed an aspirin for my whirling head and was off.

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SHOPPING ALONE Hy fllargnret Sfozeell, ,Sl The first time I was allowed to go down town alone was the most thrilling, adven- turous, yet embarrassing and nerve-racking day that I have ever spent. I had my own money and was going to do some shopping. I set joyfully about it. I bought ridicu- lous things, lost some money, asked clerks foolish questions, and looked and stared at things as I had never dared to do before. By the time I had completed my first adven- ture, l was quite loaded down with little ten cent and quarter articles. Next I went to the show. It took me fully hve minutes to get my ten cents out of my pocket, and all the time I could hear the sarcastic remarks of the people waiting be- hind me. XYhen I linally got into the lobby, I breathed a sigh of relief, but as I turned to enter the show, I felt a package slipping. I about doubled myself up trying to turn around to put it under my arm, but at the same moment three other packages fell. XYhen I stooped to pick them up, I imagine I looked as old Hepzibah in The House of the Seven Gables did when she tried to pick up the marbles she had spilled in her small cent shop. I could feel the heat rush to my face as I saw all the people looking at me, some laughing, but others saying, That's that pesky little kid that kept us waiting outside. Good enough for her. As it was dark and quite late when I left the theater, I decided to take a bus. I was nearly exhausted when I reached one. I handed my last quarter to the driver and waited for my change. First he looked at it, then at me, and again at the quarter. I heard some snickering from the people in the bus, but I thought that my quarter was as good as anyone's, so I didnyt say anything. Then the driver asked, HXYIICYC are you going? Home, I replied. ' XYell, where do you live ? he inquired. On Seventh Avenue, I told him. Then he, too, started to laugh, and said, I'm sorry, miss, but this' bus goes to Chat- field. Friday the Thirteenth? Not Quite! By Hubert Crown, '33 Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding, dongg ding, dongf, Hubert! shouted' my Mother. It!s eight o'clock, and you know it isnlt Satur- day. At this I dressed hurriedly and dashed for my bicycle. I started on it with a jump, but boom! A flat tire! Dropping it with a bang, I started run- ning. ,Soon I was at Broadway and right past the stop sign, not noticing it. A shrill Whistle came from a nearby policeman. He gruffly demanded me to obey the law, and after he had given me a lecture on traffic regulations, I was sent on my way. I enter- ed the school room on the run just as the bell went brr-r-r. Hubert, said my teacher, 'fwill you Page Ten please hand in your report card ? XYhy-er I guess--aWI must have for- gotten it,', I stammered. f NYell, as this is the third day since you were given it, you will have to go to Miss NYhiting's office. Because this was my third offense at for- getting, my knees shook as I made my way to the ofhce. Forgetting again! XYell, an hour after school each night for a week may cure you of that,' Miss NYhiting told me. As I turned to leave, she called, Young man, whatys that in your pocket ? Fortunately for me, it was my card, and it was signed. Mother must have remembered it. School seemed quite a pleasant place after all.