Riverview Military Academy - Orbit Yearbook (Poughkeepsie, NY)

Page 22 text:

THE 1916 RIVERVIEW ORBIT It was Clink here, there, and everywhereg al- ways reminiscent of the former days when Clink galloped his way through prep. school with his ever-ready wit. The picture ended, and the audience sar- dined its way out of the theatre, laughing tear- fullv. As I shouldered my way through the crowd, I heard a voice behind me saying-' 'You know, the long drink of water opposite Chaplin, he was in town today: came over from California with this guy Smith. Ahg good news, DeKlyn was in town. I hurried around to the stage entrance and was just in time, the old Riverview gang had just started to leave. We all went around to the German Tavern to renew the old ties that bound us to town and school. Parker, you're the highest ofiicer, you talk first. Tom helped himself to the mince pie and the Welsh rarcbit before replying. My dear Chris- tian friends, he said, when, in the last analysis it becomes necessary to choose between starting work in Von der Linden's and going on the stage, do you think there is any diliiculty in the choice? No, indeed! After I had spent six years in fighting my way through Cornell, I simply couldn't see selling suc- tion shoes and motor-cycles. I was offered an opportunity to earn my living by my voice, and as, at that time, my stomach was impinging on my backbone, I didn't let them wait on mc very long before I accepted. Since then I have been on the vaudeville stage, although my ambition is to play the Doctor in 'The Boomerang'. H'e hurriedly attacked the pie and the rarebit. DeKlyn, you're next. ' Well, said DeeK, you know better than anyone else what happened to me till we graduat- ed from Amherst. After that I went back to New York a while, but all my friends were gone, and the place seemed dead. I came up to the Park, and found all thc old characters dead or gone away-including Tommy. Winter came on, and I decided to go to California. It was fine out there under the orange-trees, but there wasn't anything to do, so I began pal-ing with the 'movie' actors and actresses. I met 'Charlie' and 'Sid' Chaplin, and the former persuaded me to join his company. He offered me good pay, but when I said I didn't want to become a pro- fessional, he said, 'Well, I'll bet you two thousand dollars you can't jump over this stick.' I did, and now I like the comedy stuff, and wouldn't quit it for some money. . It's Schwartz' turn to harangue, but I'm afraid he won't be able to leave Vassar hospital. I suppose we ought to go down and see him or something.

Page 21 text:

THE 19l6 RIVERVIEW ORBIT erstwhile of the Dutchess, stepped from the wings and announced in honeyed tones that Mr. Smith, whom we had just seen in pictures, would favor us with a personal appearance. He drew back, the drums blared, but no Smith came mincing out. The audience, in a fever of excitement, was forced to wait Eve long minutes before he came rushing on. You will forgive me , he said, but I just fell in love again-my, what a queen l We forgave him, as they always did at school, and he went on: -But such a practical audience-I had prac- tically forgotten you, as I do practically all of my practical audiences. Now, I want to tell you a little about my work , etc., etc. Leslie Hill was the basis of all his acting, so he said. This famous part had become ingrained into his very soul-. The house went wild. His efforts had borne fruit. Schwartz, Marvellous Mathematieiann, said the sign. Well , thought I to myself, t'Sehwartz mathematics always were marvellous. Ned had changed greatly. He was taller- and thinner. He stood before us, clothed in black. His assistant was dressed to represent the goddess of memory. Schwartz must have been feeling a bit under the weather, for twice he failed to add up a ten- digit column of figures in less than three seconds, and there was a forgetful look in his eye. To show that he was an adept at all branches of mathe- matics, he balanced two spheres in his hands so that they were parallel, a truth which he had maintained in Solid Geometry. At the close of Ned's act a lamentable accident occurred. As he stood bowing at the front of the stage, the rapidly descending curtain caught him unawarcs. They bore his senseless form sad- ly away to Vassar hospital, while the Hmovie curtain fell quickly to quell the excitement. Comedy succeeded tragedy, for the picture was Charlie Chaplin . Imagine my surprise, how- ever, to recognize in Charlie's right-hand man- Clink . It was hc, he who received all the kicks in the stomach and had all the plates broken over his head. He was the goat. I rejoiced. I had been his room-mate for two years, and I had always been the goat before. When Charlie hit him in the face with an egg, it reminded me of Clink using his massage cream. When Charlie turned the hose on him, it brought to mind the time when DceK fainted on Pizie's bed.

Page 23 text:

THE 1916 RIVERVIEW ORBIT I'll go, said Smith, eagerly, reaching for his hat. You must speak first, then, you dcserterf' Smith began in a torrent of words. After I graduated, I went to sea- Who? yelpcd DeKlyn. -But changed my mind and went to Ber- muda instead. On the street there I saw Francis X. Bushman, and followed him on his trip around the world. After I got back, I was engaged to be married, but she died, again, but she threw me down-- How many flights? DeKlyn again. --For another, and in despair I remembered my histrionic talent and secured a position with thc Famous Players Film Company. I love my work-- Squelch him ! -A chorus. We did. I don't know how I got on the stage , drawled Mark Sullivan, who was next in 'turn, but I think it was by playing the French maid in some show or other. Soon, due to my influence at Vassar, I was able to obtain the lead in Rip Van Winkle. When this play finished its run, which was phenomenally long due to my superb por- trayal of the title role, I made up my present act, in which I have been appearing ever since. Some say I am a little slow in making my light- ning changes, but as long as the stuff gets across, why-I speak no language but my own-jer mawn jishf' Harry spoke last. After I had graduated from Amherst with you guys, and had built about sixty or seventy thousand Overlands, I decided to go overland myself. I obtained a position as cornetist in Sousa's band and traveled to many different parts of the country with him. Finally my comet broke, but I managed to horn in on a new line of work-huhuhuh! I got a job as barker in a circus, but was soon advanced to advertising agent on account of my vocal power. Tiring of this sort of work, I at last decided to go on the stage. The only position for which I was at all fitted was that of monologist, and that has been my business ever since. You see, 'I stick to my last', as the shoemakcr says. A word of apology and epilog. As Harry would probably say, this has been rather a stagy production. There is only one excuse to be offered, that is written at the begin- ning of this extravaganza. Doubtless none of these Seniors will ever appear on any stageg they will never take up any of the lines of work herein assigned: these things are not even to be wished for. Only, may they all, like the narrator, come again to the city where they have lived and ad- ventured-whcre the half of their golden days has been spent-to renew once more the old scenes, the old deeds, and the old friendships which center about Riverview, their prep. school.