Riverview Military Academy - Orbit Yearbook (Poughkeepsie, NY)

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after he made a great fortune in gauntlets and tennis shoes, and was ahout to take a rest when the war with Patagonia hroke out. Of course he was given command. and gained sev- eral great victories finally capturing the king and forcing him to sue for peace. However, soon after, the king captured two of General Ayers' allies, and he rushed to The Hague, attempting to get all the powers to aid him. He was here unsuccessful, hut comforted him- self hy an annexation of a YVest Indian and a German Island. Later he waged the Hyper- horean and the C'rim Tartar wars to successful closes, and was rewarded with a magnificent triumph. Twelve thousand prisoners fmostly feminine, and then not of the swordl walked in the procession, and last of all, in an ivory and gold car, and attired in purple and emer- alds, came the conqueror. His career is mostly hefore him, and no one knows what to expect next of him. DOUGLAS E,xs'1'M1-1.-xo. Mr. Eastmead has discovered the Art of Repose, and spends his time perfecting him- self in it. Over the door of his oflice swings the sign GiEtlStlllClld, Poseur, and within, at- tired in a hlue silk dressing gown, he lies on a wonderful couch doing nothing. He is very distinguished in appearance, with large vacant eyes, black seal-skin hair and a smile that hrings dowagers to hiS ff20t. 'He draws very clever caricatnrespfor his own anmsement, attends afternoon teas, and plays passionate wultzes. At times he awakes and takes flings at studying architecture and then sinks off' into Dreamland again. He once grew sentimental and fell in loveg he was about to propose when lo! he struck an attitude and fell asleep. The girls worship him as they think he is cold to them, hut the truth is, that he is so bored hy admiration that he seeks consolation in his own dreams. A Statue of Sleep! 16

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L linuuxnn Saxiuaiisox. 4 W Mr. Sanderson so distinguished himself by preventing dogs, dirtv little IllllCkCl'S and 'fyoung pups from running on the gridiron, that the moment he or '- reached Milwaukee he was enlisted on the police force. His first beat was about l ,gf a ladies' college, fllilwaukee Downerj where he caused so much jealousy and 1 ' hair pulling that he was transferred to a brewery, there to prevent the beer sg from getting stale. One dark night, while he was studying astronomy, three li., 1 robbers broke into a bank. He heard them, and quickly getting a barrel, drown- l M 1 ' 'Q f ed them in Milwaukee's best. At present he has left the force, has married and l l' 3 is living happily with a wife who is an excellent cook. iii-4 l 1 A l BIILTON Ari-nas. l. , There is only one thing which Mr. Ayers has failed to G achieve, and that is conscience. He has been gifted gener- ft ously by nature with a. clear head, winning ways, boundless If entlmsiasm and, at the bottom, a good heart. His history is J .h U a continual hst of achievements in every field: he is a con- -lix queror of battles and women's heartsg he has known the xxx 1 sh j' heights of idolatry and the depths of dcspisalg he has seized Wliqi great opportunities and blindly passed greater byg he has ll proven himself both great and foolish: and all these success- 'fy pl, es and failures have made little change in his character and 4 H have not even removed the cynical smile that is continually l' l,,,,,., 'f his mask. Truly a victorious failure. llr. Ayers began life as an actor, and never really dropped t.he role. ln the literary field his first success was History of myselfng he posed successfully for llr. lferris' statue of 'f'l'he Superman and later on sang in grand opera. VVQ quote As l passed the ltletropolitan, one eonld hear ltlr. Ayers singing in fSiegfried' so that the cars,pedestrians, and even the clocks, stoppedf' S0011 I5

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RAI,PH Ciwnr. lvhen Mr. Vrum heard that his heart's flower, Bliss C'racker had joined the Salvation Army, he attempted sui- cide oft' the Poughkeepsie Bridge, but was prevented by his coat which had taken a sudden fancy to a rail. He decided to turn l1is back on the world and become a deacon. He raises apples, and plays Santa Claus at church affairs. He is a noted teetotaler and prefers Black and lVhite,' to other beverages. He takes up the collection in church, plays Hi- low-Jack, and is the terror of naughty ragamuftins. He has never married as he prefers to be adored by the ancient mai- dens. IQICIYIHCX IQOSICN. The womlerful productions which issue from the hands of Mr. Rosen are the finest imagin- able. Ile is the best known tailor in the country and his productions are veritable art-works. His garments would suit a king or a Godchaux and would even delight H. B. Prince. He dictates the fashion aml is patronized by all the sports, At evening out comes his violin, and he fiddles duets with the neighborls cat. He is married to a wonderful creation of eyes and tulle veiling, and lives as if he were not a ruler. BARTON C'ooKINoH,xM. In all Red I-look there is no better doctor than Uookingham, M. D. He has saved more people from catching cold than any of the physicians and is renowned far and wide for his treatments. He has learned to distinguish pills by their size and color so that he never for- ffets and gives the same kind for different ailments as he has seen done -- ce 2- is , a . c on performed an operation, and was so successful that he never attempted another. He is a bachelor, but is in love with a lied Hook Fairy who will one day be known as Mrs. McCosh. I7