Riverside High School - Torch Yearbook (Riverside, NJ)

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or the last part, Paul Klein, should flunk German, this contract shall be, upon immediate order of the Maslany twins, our lawyers, declared null and void. 'Our newest members, Genevieve Duponka, Irene jesionowska, Camille Komodzinska, Irene Lew- andowski, Amelia Kopzinski, Helen Rogozinski, Lottie Wiatrowski, jacob Utzig, Frank Suhay, Gwen- ton Wonnacott, Frank Ksiazek, and Helen Tymczyszn leave to all studyroom teachers a self-pronounc- ing, automatic, pocket size, name dictionary in which the proper way to chew, cough, or sneeze, proper names is easily shown. This remarkable volume has been published for the partial use of new teachers. 'Dorothy Hermann gives to typing students her unbeatable knack of borrowing ty ing paper to whom so ever of the undergraduate classes it is most needed. Particular attention must ie given to a girl whose first initials are Eleanor Knapp. 'Sam Pepperman bequeaths his glib business tongue to any Junior who in the course of his high school career must take Intermediate homework. 'To the Freshmen, we give our humor. For every subject that you fail, for every scolding you receive, for each blue-slip some designing teacher hands you, flash on our winning smile and see where it will get you in the end. 'To the Sophomores, we bequeath our courage. When your resolution to work harder peters out, when you meet your first Regents, when you have Miss Creagh for English, don't give up Soph., Work on, work on, and see where it will get you in the end. 'To the Juniors we give our love for hard work and personal glory. We give to you the ability to meet defeat bravely, to sing as you crack under the strain of heavy courses. 'All these we will give you. But where will it get you ?-In the end? 'Signed, 'The Die Hard Social Club, WILLIAM STENSON, Presidenlf 'P.S. If you don't get this letter send us a return addressed envelope and we'll send you the carbon copy'. Lady Tinso: We have in the studio a member of the class of '37 who without further ado will present the history of this famous class as he read it on class day way back in '37. Dr. joseph Kish, Professor of Mental Telepathy at the University of Panama Canal. Dr. Kish. Lady Tinso: Thank you, Dr. Kish. And now we turn back the pages of time and present you a dramatization of Walter Winchell the second, writing his famous dirt column. This Walter Win- chell, by the way, is Ernest Nelson. The scene is the office of the said Winchell. W.: Oh my head! I can't think. The Skipper goes to press tomorrow and my column is not finished. Will someone bring me some news? QTelephone r'ngs.j Hello! Yes. Go on! You don't say? He did? I can see it in headlines already. Anything else? No just the usual things. Thanks a lot. fHangs up., Where's my pencil? Where's my pen? Where's my typewriter? Let me at it! I've got news, news. Secretary: Can I help? W.: Can you help? I'll say you can. Take this down. Flash from across the ocean. Walter Winchell brings you a flash. Flash! Walter Stelley has broken his all time record. He was seen with a date last Saturday night. He usually.meets his girl inside the show. Secretary: Say, I've dug up some news too. Listen fwhispersj and fwhispersj. W.: That's all we need. Cut it down in this form. Marion Conklin and Marion Stark, those two droll girls and their powder puff boy friend are slowly drifting away from social circles. lt was suggested that jim Hewson be presented with another of those appreciated gifts in his Public Speaking Class. W.: What is that dire secret that Fred Smith is trying to keep away from the public? Ask P.B. Raymond Berkowitz, nature's gift to women, has turned amateur jack the Jeeper. Well, well, what have we here? Mr. Miller now walks to school instead of riding in his nice new car. Us it economy?j

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Jeffrey- Well, who then ? Chuck- Helen Limburg. I didn't hear her name among the flaming beauties in the second chapter. jeffrey- But she isn't a flaming beauty. Chuck- What! No red hair? jeffrey- u Oh, Secretary. Secretary- Yes, Mr. Robson. QEnter Helen Limburg with paper in front of her face.j Jeffrey- I want you to meet a friend. Helen Limburg, this is C. O. Df' fHelen drops paper and reveals blond maskj C. O. D.- Helen Limburg gone blond! tHe faints.j - Announcer: What a surprise! And this will be a surprise for many of you. Tinso presents- Lady Tinso:: 'Jeeping around Town' by Up N. Down, our flashy news commentator. U. N. D.: There is a fight in the air, folks. A dashing, young sailor whose name is said to be Lucius Lemke and Frank Romeo Guzenski have been having a heated battle at Tonawanda and Ontario Streets, Buffalo. The reason is a mystery. It is reported that jane Murtagh recently ditched Lucius in favor of Frank. Lemke threatens to foreclose the mortgage and turn Frank out of house and home if he cloesn't give up jane. Frank has hired Steve Boogy-Man Korpan to haunt Luke. Meanwhile we learn that Jane is now at the Riverside Theatre with the local playboy, James Travers. Flash! Flash! Flash! Judge Henry Rauch has just granted a final divorce decree to Thelma Wally Stacey. Her last husband was William Kimball, trapeze artist. It is rumored that she is soon to marry the millionaire polo-player, Earl Isaac. William Phillips has been frequenting fashion shows lately. He claims he is a fashion critic, but we all know he goes for a striking model at Ritz Du-Pont, hangout for all unemployed Riverside graduates. All members of the class of 1937, now listening, will remember Jane Evans. They're off! And not the horses either. It's Myrtle Graf, jeep shoe model in New York City and Vernon King, chief Caddie at the Grover Cleveland golf course. It's getting so it's more profitable and lots more fun to bet on the outcome of these two lover lights than to play the doggies at Jack Lafhn's dog race track.', A contest for the largest last name, started last week in the Congressional Library, ended today in a tie between Charles Schreckenberger and his fiancee, Rita Schneggenberger, with 15 letters each. Count them if you don't believe me. Until the difference of a spoon is both and prunes is spelled with a 'b,' so what's the difference -anyhow?', . So long. Lady Tinso: The sign of intelligence is a high forehead. But don't let those bald headed men fool you. If they had any intelligence at all, they would use Tinso to prevent falling hair. If you have any friends-If you have any friends who have falling hair, make it your duty to tell them about Tinso. And now our announcer has something to say about duty. No, don't turn off your radios yet. You may catch on to one of our jokes later. Come in, jeff ! Announcer: Ten years ago, today, our advertising manager, Clarence Lanich, published a book in which he said that it was the duty of each and every member of a graduating class of Riverside High School to leave behind him something by which future students may remember him. Yesterday we found, hidden in our files, several letters in reply to this statement. One of these should be of special interest to our radio audience. Here it is! 'Dear Tinso: 'Being in sound mind we do solemnly swear by the beards of Frank DeGlopper and William Ferguson that these are our last gifts to Riverside and in so doing can neither retract or change the said gifts so long as Niagara Falls falls, grass grows, Henry Tesluk and Paul Klein make the honor rollg Whereas if the party of the first part, Frank DeGlopper should suddenly lose his beard, or the party

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Secretary: f'That's swell. But we ought to have something different. We always have plenty of scandalf, fTelephone rings.j W.: Hello. Right on Ontario? QTO Sec.j Take this down! History Making Events: I 1. Miss Mundie seen in slacks. 2. Bob Rooney pressed his pants. 3. john Polanski went out of his way to talk to a girl. 4. Leo Dill discovered something new in Public Speaking. Lady Tinso: If that doesn't shake the dandruff out of someone's hair, Tinso will. We have as our guest artist today one of our former classmates, who has been the dancing sensation of the Pacific Coast for the past few years. We present Laurine Ruyan in one of her famous toe-taps. fDance.j Lady Tinso: 'Thank you, Miss Ruyan. We'll all be seeing you soon in your next production, 'On 'r'our Toesf Since this program is in honor of the class --F 1937, we will again bring you Up N. Down who will bring present day flashes from the life of '37 graduates. Take it away! Up N. Down: Well! Well! Well! Back again. You just can't get rid of me. And Ethel Bog- den cad: get rid of '!-at jinx Irene Robinson. It seems that Irene has been taking too many of Ethel's boy-friends. Well, such is life in the big city! And speaking of big cities, Irene Puj, Bessie Olshan, janet McFarquhar, Gladys Gordon, Marion Dailey, Phyllis Chesney and Helen Burgess, all beautiful girls of the Windy Follies, have just finished a successful show season in New York City at the Po-Dunk Hotel and Bar owned and operated by Peter Kazmirchuk. 'Uther members of the '37 class have traveled to distant parts, too. Margaret Severin an-i Dor- othv Seirz are spending their vacations on the Northern side of Lake Erie at the Great White Plains. We used to know it as Crystal Beach. Al Ivancic has invented a new life protector for playing hockey-water wings. It seems that a tumble through the ice in a certain canal turned his mind to humanitarian projects. Helen Lawrie, dreamy eyed and sad, is waiting the return of her lover. Ah, me! Syracuse is a long way olf. Betty Alt has that dreamy look in her eyes too. I wonder who it is this time. A certain cava- lier poet had some good advice for her. Then be not coy, but use your time And while you may, go marry, For having lost but once your prime You may forever tarry. So long. Lady Tinso: And this, ladies and gentlemen, concludes the Tinso program. Tinso, the best hair tonic money can buy represented by john Polanski, the All-American Boy. Announcer: Until next year, when we meet again, good bye. And now we'll close with a poem- A poem both short and sweet It echoes our deep sentiments Of these last few weeks. We've struggled through our history The Algebra was tough And after English Literature We thought we'd had enough But the years flew by And now we stand on the threshold of adventure Goodby dear friends, a sad good-bye ,To the school we'll all remember. Station W-R-I-V-E-R-S-I-D-E signing off.