Riverside High School - Skipper Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

Page 13 text:

THE SKIPPER 11 council and the city is better than ever financially fixed with Stanley Wasik as city accountant. Charles-And here's Helen Jaros-Bet Mr. Robot couldn't keep up with her. Robot-Helen Jaros is now Dean of Mining at a noted Eastern College. She's giving daily lectures on the art of gold digging. Greene-Wasn't there a fellow named Rubin in the class? fi Robot'-Marvin Rubin and his pal McHenry are now noted physicians. They have established an upside down hospital for upside down stomach cases It's getting fashionable-in fact, almost a fad to have an upside down stomach nowadays-but I suppose it will fade out just as Miniature Golf did. Charles-flocking into Year Bookj Here's the officers' pictures and there are Jean Linklater and Doris Leith, the two smartest girls in the class. Wonder what's become of them? Robot-Jean Linklater and Doris Leith are the proud owners of a polish- ing-up school for debutantes. They polish them up to the tiniest detail- from their manners to the outside of their pocketbooks. Jean and Doris take all that's inside. Greene-Remember Ernie Bodnar-is he still counting money? Robo!-Ernest Bodnar is now a Supreme Court Justice. In his estima- tion, Law as a profession is becoming more noble day by day In fact he ' 1 says that lawyers now are willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove they're right. Charles-Now tell' us about Henry Luszcz? Robot-He and Richard Kaczmarek are well established in the butter and milk business, but the boys had an argument recently and Henry, the senior partner, punished Dick by making him deliver the milk on a long route for a week. Now he's having trouble getting Richard to come back. Methinks a number of young ladies along the route appeal to him. Greene-And how about that girl that wears an everlasting smile? Robot-You must mean Elizabeth Keefe. She is now operating a reducing l par or for women overcome with rotundity. Her motto is vaguely familiar: I'll have my pound of flesh. Charles-I suppose that Frances Parker chosen as the best lookin , - ' g girl of the class, is a sculptors, model or something. Robo!-Frances Parker is starring in Marcus Utzig's Follies, running its eighth consecutive week in New York. Fred Dopp is a comedian in the same h s owg he throws questions at Bob Ortner who- stands and bobbles his Adamis Apple up and down a few times. Greene-We can't forget Bernie McDonald, that sterling athlete. What's he doing now? Robot-Bernard McDonald, now with the Pittsburgh Pirates, has just

Page 12 text:

10 THE SKIPPER because he can,t tell them apart, and because he just doesn't know how to go about proposing to two girls. QConversation is interrupted as office-boy brings in a mechanical man, connected by wires to a microphone. Beneath the mechanism Marvin Rubin is concealed.j Charles-And do you mean to say that that idiotic thing can answer all questions asked it? Greene-That's right. All you have to do is to ask a question through this microphone and the robot will answer it. Charles-Well, I'll be!-what type of question shall we use? Greene-Well-let me see-I've got it! Today, if my memory doesn't fail me, is the tenth anniversary of our graduation from R. H. S. Suppose we ask the mechanical man what some of our former friends are now doing? Charles-Thatis a great idea, but we haven't the names of the class with us. Greene-Oh, yes, we have. I've got a copy of the Year Book in my desk with the names of all graduates in it frummages in desk and pulls out Year Bookj. Here it is-Well, are you all set for the biggest surprise of your life? Charles-You bet. Go ahead- Greene-Mr. Robot, what is John Zarconeis position in life? Robot-You'll remember how everyone used to picture John as a member of the Metropolitan Opera Co. because of his melodious, haunting voice. Today John is a member of the Metropolitan-that is, a salesman for the Metropolitan Insurance Co., and his voice is haunting all prospective buyers. Charles-Man! This is a knockout! And the robot's right. I just had a letter from John myself. Can it do as well on all the others? Greene-Didn,t I say I'd perfected the invention? And now to get on- What's become of Eleanor Fink? Robot-Eleanor Fink is doin ver well as secretar to Frederick Turner, . 3 .Y Y professor of Latin at Bonar University, named after none other than that eminent educator, Stanley Bonar. Greene--And here's Dick Pawlowski. I suppose he's president of some- thing or other. Robot-Richard Pawlowski, recently elected president of the Cute Cud- dely Do-nut Hole Co., is now residing in Niagara Falls. I-Ie extends the following invitation to all Riverside alumni: When in the Falls, drop in. Charles-Here, give me that list. I want to ask a few questions. fGreene hands him bookg he turns pagej. Oh, yes-Florence Schunke-we can't omit her. Robot--According to Dorothy Keil's History of Nothing In Particular Florence Schunke is Mayoress of New York, Frank Aselstine is president of the

Page 14 text:

12 THE SKIPPER received an invitation from Lou Gehrig to play on his All-American baseball team which will tour the Orient this winter. He replied that he wouldn't go unless the Japanese first bought Steven O'Lear. O' Lear is the only pitcher he can hit. Charles-Hereis a name that's vaguely familiar, Robert Draddy, but I can't recall who he is. Robot-Robert Draddy is editor of the New York Times, now owned by Glen Oberacker. Fulton Chamberlin, that bashful, dimpled boy is writing an 'advice to the lovelorn' column in the same paper. Louis Kiss is plugging away at cartoons and has just created a sensational comic strip entitled, The Adventures of Robert Grimes in the Land of the Amazons . Charles-Let's hear about more of the girls. Robot-Jean Vorce took a post graduate course in public speaking from Miss Mundie, and then suddenly disappeared from sight. We discovered her last week in deep distress, addressing a Sunday school class on the subject of My Life as an Editor's Sweetheart . Peggy Young passed the collection plate around. Greene-What do you know of Bushardt? Robot-Ed Bushardt, the boy with the glib tongue, is selling refrigerators in Alaska. He says that they're going like hot cakes. At this point Professor Greene,s wife comes in and creates a great com- motion. She is finally quieted and persuaded to listen. Greene-Now, listen, my dear, to just one. What, Mr. Robot, do you know of Margaret Farkas? Robot-Margaret Farkas and Ruth Proseus have been Delaware Park policewomen since they passed their civil service examinations in 1937. Their first arrest was Richard Burg, Latin professorg he had the nerve to read Cicero aloud while strolling along their beat. Mrs. Greene--Oh, isn't it marvelous! Let me ask one. Where's Thelma Townsend? Robot-Thelma Townsend has established a school for journalism in New York City, and is teaching high school girls the art of being good girl-Fridays to Broadway Columnists. Mrs. Greene--Oh, Richard, how wonderful you are! What about Jack Evans? I always liked him. Robot-Jack Evans and Leo Hertel have grown beards and are now cheer- leading for the House of David baseball team. Mrs. Greene-And how about A1 Marquis? Robot-Al Marquis is now a business figurehead, and is giving Henry Ford many a sleepless night with his new 8-cylinder Schmidt-made carg the inventor is Riversideis Bob Schmidt, Al's beloved cousin. Charlie-I've just remembered-Leon Montz and Michael Kaluzienski.