Riverside High School - Skipper Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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10 THE SKIPPER because he can,t tell them apart, and because he just doesn't know how to go about proposing to two girls. QConversation is interrupted as office-boy brings in a mechanical man, connected by wires to a microphone. Beneath the mechanism Marvin Rubin is concealed.j Charles-And do you mean to say that that idiotic thing can answer all questions asked it? Greene-That's right. All you have to do is to ask a question through this microphone and the robot will answer it. Charles-Well, I'll be!-what type of question shall we use? Greene-Well-let me see-I've got it! Today, if my memory doesn't fail me, is the tenth anniversary of our graduation from R. H. S. Suppose we ask the mechanical man what some of our former friends are now doing? Charles-Thatis a great idea, but we haven't the names of the class with us. Greene-Oh, yes, we have. I've got a copy of the Year Book in my desk with the names of all graduates in it frummages in desk and pulls out Year Bookj. Here it is-Well, are you all set for the biggest surprise of your life? Charles-You bet. Go ahead- Greene-Mr. Robot, what is John Zarconeis position in life? Robot-You'll remember how everyone used to picture John as a member of the Metropolitan Opera Co. because of his melodious, haunting voice. Today John is a member of the Metropolitan-that is, a salesman for the Metropolitan Insurance Co., and his voice is haunting all prospective buyers. Charles-Man! This is a knockout! And the robot's right. I just had a letter from John myself. Can it do as well on all the others? Greene-Didn,t I say I'd perfected the invention? And now to get on- What's become of Eleanor Fink? Robot-Eleanor Fink is doin ver well as secretar to Frederick Turner, . 3 .Y Y professor of Latin at Bonar University, named after none other than that eminent educator, Stanley Bonar. Greene--And here's Dick Pawlowski. I suppose he's president of some- thing or other. Robot-Richard Pawlowski, recently elected president of the Cute Cud- dely Do-nut Hole Co., is now residing in Niagara Falls. I-Ie extends the following invitation to all Riverside alumni: When in the Falls, drop in. Charles-Here, give me that list. I want to ask a few questions. fGreene hands him bookg he turns pagej. Oh, yes-Florence Schunke-we can't omit her. Robot--According to Dorothy Keil's History of Nothing In Particular Florence Schunke is Mayoress of New York, Frank Aselstine is president of the

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THE SKIPPER 9 CLASS PROPHECY TIME-A summer's day in 1945. The scene opens in the palatial office of Richard Greene, scientist and inventor par-excellence, famous for his invention of toothless combs for brush haircuts. Professor Greene is sitting at his desk, avidly perusing a copy of that famous art magazine, Ballyhoo, and at the same time fondly, almost rever- ently, recalling his happy days at Riverside High School. A knock at the door is heard and before Professor Greene can utter a come in , the door opens to admit Charles Braithwaite, famous criminal lawyer, he has just finished a successful defense of Otis Lewke, who has been charged with stealing -that is-stealing the show from Clark Gable Wolko in his latest motion picture hit, Hansel and Gretel. Without further ado the conversation begins: Charles-Qexcitedlyj Well, have you Hnished it? Have you finished it? Don't stand there gaping at me like a fool. I asked you a question. Greene-Cnonchalantlyj Finished what? Charles-Your invention! your invention! What do you think I'm talk- ing about? Greene-O-oh, I thought you asked if I'd finished my science magazine. fHolds up copy of Ballyhooj. Charles-I-Ieavens! How can you be so calm at a time like this? Do you know, that you've created the eighth wonder of the world? Greene-Yes, I know, and already I've been threatened. Charles--What! Greene-Yes. My wife told me that she'd crown me if she found me fooling with that crazy contraption any longer, but shshsh!-she doesn't know that I have it perfected. Charles-Will she be surprised when she finds out! Greene-You said it! She said I was crazy, but that's what they said about Edison. Charles-How about a demonstration of its magical powers now? Greene-O. K., but first I'1l have my office boy bring it in and I'll explain the mechanism of it. Connors! Connors-Qhurriedly coming in and tripping over his feetj--Ye-Yes, sir? Greene-Bring in the invention, Connors. Comzors-Yes, sir, right away, sir. QTrips again on way out.j Charles-Connors must have fallen in love or somethingg he seems rather listless. Greene-Why, yes. Since it's now legal to have more than one Wife, he's fallen hard for the cute little Anderson twins and he's very, very unhappy

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THE SKIPPER 11 council and the city is better than ever financially fixed with Stanley Wasik as city accountant. Charles-And here's Helen Jaros-Bet Mr. Robot couldn't keep up with her. Robot-Helen Jaros is now Dean of Mining at a noted Eastern College. She's giving daily lectures on the art of gold digging. Greene-Wasn't there a fellow named Rubin in the class? fi Robot'-Marvin Rubin and his pal McHenry are now noted physicians. They have established an upside down hospital for upside down stomach cases It's getting fashionable-in fact, almost a fad to have an upside down stomach nowadays-but I suppose it will fade out just as Miniature Golf did. Charles-flocking into Year Bookj Here's the officers' pictures and there are Jean Linklater and Doris Leith, the two smartest girls in the class. Wonder what's become of them? Robot-Jean Linklater and Doris Leith are the proud owners of a polish- ing-up school for debutantes. They polish them up to the tiniest detail- from their manners to the outside of their pocketbooks. Jean and Doris take all that's inside. Greene-Remember Ernie Bodnar-is he still counting money? Robo!-Ernest Bodnar is now a Supreme Court Justice. In his estima- tion, Law as a profession is becoming more noble day by day In fact he ' 1 says that lawyers now are willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove they're right. Charles-Now tell' us about Henry Luszcz? Robot-He and Richard Kaczmarek are well established in the butter and milk business, but the boys had an argument recently and Henry, the senior partner, punished Dick by making him deliver the milk on a long route for a week. Now he's having trouble getting Richard to come back. Methinks a number of young ladies along the route appeal to him. Greene-And how about that girl that wears an everlasting smile? Robot-You must mean Elizabeth Keefe. She is now operating a reducing l par or for women overcome with rotundity. Her motto is vaguely familiar: I'll have my pound of flesh. Charles-I suppose that Frances Parker chosen as the best lookin , - ' g girl of the class, is a sculptors, model or something. Robo!-Frances Parker is starring in Marcus Utzig's Follies, running its eighth consecutive week in New York. Fred Dopp is a comedian in the same h s owg he throws questions at Bob Ortner who- stands and bobbles his Adamis Apple up and down a few times. Greene-We can't forget Bernie McDonald, that sterling athlete. What's he doing now? Robot-Bernard McDonald, now with the Pittsburgh Pirates, has just